10 Biblical Ways to Show Love
These 10 biblical ways to show love help us build good relationships and share the love of God. When we love others, we demonstrate what the love of God looks like. Bible verses on love teach us many practical ways to love one another well. This post features an excerpt on loving one another from my award-winning book, Holy in the Moment.
My daughter loved to draw when she was little. With fingers curled around chunky crayons, she drew pictures of houses, flowers, and sunshine. Her favorite thing to draw was the people in our family giving each one of us big eyes, wide smiles, and stick-drawn arms. At times, one person was as big as the house, with fingers touching the sun peeking out of the top of the page. Assuming the big person was Daddy, I asked, “Who’s this?”
With the candor of a four-year-old, she announced, “Me!”
A perfectly natural way to see the world for a child, but every now and then, I revert back to my child-self, loving others as if I’m the sky-reaching, cloud-catching person who fills the whole picture.
Understanding how easy it is to love from self rather than the nature of Christ within, the apostle Paul instructed the Philippians: “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 2:3-5).
Our new identity loves others with patience, kindness, and forgiveness, but we must unlearn the old tendencies to react with the flesh—impatience, pride, selfishness, and resentment.
Learning to love with the fullness of agape is the un-selfing of our souls.
Love Is How Holiness Builds Relationships
Reach for holiness and express agape through your thoughts, words, and actions. Choose to love in the nitty-gritty minutes of your day. When your husband forgets to take out the trash, choose patience. Frustrated with the kids? Self-control can harness irritation. When a friend seems to have the perfect family, refuse to be envious. When love is difficult, hold on to hope and keep praying.
Sounds simple doesn’t it?
Simple doesn’t always equal easy.
Choose to receive this agape-love of Christ and let it flow out to those around you in the choices you make. Abiding and resting in Christ enables you to make the most of your life by sharing what you’ve been given.
Filling up with God’s love energizes the words you say and how you spend your time. What will happen when you take it one moment at a time, depending on Jesus to empower you to give your very best self in loving others? How will your relationships be different?
“Every moment is an opportunity to practice a gesture of love.”—John Ortberg, The Me I Want to Be
What can happen when we set aside our petty differences, the things that don’t matter but divide? Forgiving one another is one of the love-one-another ways God matures and completes (perfects) us.
Power ignites when we give what we have received—the needed blessing of acceptance healing to the soul—accept one another. When we overcome selfishness to serve one another, we demonstrate the love of God to a world that doesn’t know God.
10 Biblical Ways to Show Love
Here are a few of the many passages that teach us how to show Christian love. When we love others, we demonstrate what the love of God looks like. The Bible shows us many practical ways to love others. Which one of these actions of love do you most need to give in your relationships right now?
Be devoted and give preference to one another (Romans 12:10).
Build up one another (Romans 14:19).
Accept one another (Romans 15:7)
Care for one another (1 Corinthians 12:25).
Serve one another (Galatians 5:13).
Bear one another’s burden. (Galatians 6:2).
Be kind, tender-hearted and forgiving with one another (Ephesians 4:32).
Regard others as more important (Philippians 2:3).
Bear with and forgive complaints against others (Colossians 3:13).
Encourage and esteem one another (1 Thessalonians 5:11-14).
Don’t we love it when other people do these things for us? I can hear you thinking, I’d love to do these things, but I can’t keep up with my life as it is. How do I find time?
God will give many opportunities in the midst of our day to encourage others. So as you go, love one another in practical ways fitting the moment.
Love in one simple way at a time.
Small daily acts of intentionality turn bad days around, and as we express the love of Christ, loving one another is a powerful way God turns lives around. Share on X
Don’t miss the moment, for when we listen to Jesus, living out of our true identity—in Christ, holy hearts say yes to loving one another. And as we do, our view of others increases as our focus on self decreases in the light of love.
What is one simple way you can make a difference in someone’s life with a simple act of love?
Holy in the Moment
Holy in the Moment is a powerful encouragement for anyone who struggles to overcome anxiety, perfectionism, insecurity, or other mindsets that hold us back. Grow in holiness without the pressure to have everything “just right.” Through gentle encouragement, biblical insights, and applicable ideas you can experience a deeper life of freedom in Christ. Transparently sharing my own struggles, I want to help you live from the reality of hope, healing, and holiness. Learn more here or grab a copy here. (Affiliate link at no cost to you). Download a free Journal and Discussion Guide for the book here.
Printable Quotes on Love
Check out this free collection of printable quotes on love. Free with sign up for my newsletter, you can download this PDF from my Subscriber Library. Click here to sign up.
More Posts for Stronger Relationships
Holy Moments Are for Loving One Another
25 Good Habits for the Art of Friendship
Will I Love My Neighbor?
Live Love This Valentine’s Day
16 Ways to Love People Better
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Does Your Soul Talk Strengthen Your Faith?
We all face honest questions that come from the gritty places where experience rubs like sandpaper against the grain of truth and faith. In Psalm 103: 1-4, David demonstrates the role our self talk can play in strengthening our faith. Let your soul talk encourage you to hold fast to what is true about God despite the challenges you face. Remembering the benefits and goodness of God is a powerful part of worship that blesses the Lord and strengthens our faith.
How Do You Speak to Your Soul?
Soul Talk that Strengthens Your Faith
“Bless the Lord, my soul,
And all that is within me, bless His holy name.”–Psalm 103:1
- He coaches his heart to worship God in the midst of life as it is.
- He reminds himself to put his attention on God’s holy presence and benefit.
- He rehearses the goodness of God even in difficult times.
Soul Talk that Blesses God
Benefits of God to Talk to Your Soul About
“Who pardons all your guilt,
Who heals all your diseases;
Who redeems your life from the pit,
Who crowns you with favor and compassion…”–Psalm 103:3-4
Soul Talk When You’re Stuck in the Pit
Redemption is God’s Work
The Journey from Pit to Crown
How Do You Speak to Your Soul?
Get Access to the Deeper Life Collection
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What to Do When Bad News Becomes a Call to Intercession
When bad news shakes your heart, learn how to pray with faith, rest in God’s care, and trust His strength through uncertainty, fear, and hard seasons.
No matter the moment, what it looks like, what it feels like, what it brings—this is your moment to pray.
When bad news impacts those you love, prayer becomes a vital source of strength. Trials have a way of creating a call to intercede, as we turn to God on behalf of others. Holding onto faith in the midst of the struggles of family and friends, prayer becomes a powerful part of God’s work in their lives.
It also opens the door to growing in prayer as the Holy Spirit helps us to pray as the situation needs. Trials teach us to pray from the deep, vulnerable places of our heart as we bring our needs to God. Is this a time you need to pray fiercely?
Praying When Life is Hard
The last five months have been a season of many hard things happening in our world and in my extended family. Many days, my heart is heavy, as I trust Jesus for wisdom to encourage and support those I love.
I’ve been in the secret place with my Father. I can’t help but run to Father in prayer. He draws me deeper into intercession by virtue of the pain of loss and the struggle of uncertain times. With every distressing text or phone call I receive, I call out to Christ. I feel the pain of broken relationships and hurting hearts on one side of the family. At the same time I wrestle fears for my sister facing a devastating diagnosis.
I cannot help but pray throughout the day. Even as I fall asleep I talk with Jesus with prayers that slip down my cheeks onto the pillow. However much and however long it takes I will trust Father and keep praying. This season is a call to intercession. Not because I think it would be nice to learn more about prayer, but because someone must stand in the gap and plead for the intervention of the only One who can restore peace and heal broken lives. The only One who can give strength to face hard days with wisdom, grace, patience, and faith.
Love Calls Us to Intercede in Prayer
In answering the call to intercede, I have entered into a time of instruction, training, and strengthening as Jesus teaches me to stand firm and pray boldly. This is what trusting looks like in my life lately.
As I turn to Christ with my heavy heart, He reminds me that He carries the weight when I remember to trust him with the people I care about. He frequently reminds me of this vital truth because my emotions are vulnerable to fear and worry.
God Meets Us As We Pray for Others
As we pour out out concerns for others, God often meets us in a special way. This kind of prayer strengthens our own hearts as well as becomes a channel of blessing those we pray for.
As I prayed one morning, Holy Spirit slipped a picture of Jesus into my mind. Our Good Shepherd was carrying my sister close to His heart where she could hear his heartbeat. He reminded me she is loved, protected, and safe in His care. The Spirit not only calmed my anxious heart, but He also gave me a vivid image to pray for her as well. Maybe this mental image will comfort you today as you let these verses strengthen your heart.
Hear the sound of my pleadings when I cry to You for help,
When I raise my hands toward Your holy sanctuary. . .Blessed be the Lord,
Because He has heard the sound of my pleading.
7 The Lord is my strength and my shield;
My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped;
Therefore my heart triumphs,
And with my song I shall thank Him.
8 The Lord is their strength,
And He is a refuge of salvation to His anointed.
9 Save Your people and bless Your inheritance;
Be their shepherd also, and carry them forever. —Psalm 28:2, 6-9 NASB
Problems, Pain, and Prayer
My younger sister has been weakening since February. Muscles withering, she now struggles to stand, move. her legs, and even sit up. She fights to take even a single step. Growing weaker almost by the day, she recently received a medical diagnosis of ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. This image of Christ carrying her splits me wide open. Problems like this cause great pain to our hearts and draw us to our knees in prayer.
This disease is unthinkable, yet it is happening.
My soul recoils as fearful thoughts drive me to my knees like never before. This prayer picture soothes the ache in my heart with the vivid illustration of the compassion of Christ. Our shield of strength, refuge, and salvation, our Good Shepherd carries us. He hears our cries and provides help. I am undone by the tenderness and power of Christ. I sense these words in my spirit:
Pray fiercely but rest in faith.
Believe My word and trust My heart.
And when it all feels too much, remember I will carry you.
Pray Boldly in the Tension Between Need and Faith
There is a tension between desperate need for prayer and the abiding place of resting faith. Need and faith are parallel tracks of prayer leading us to a deeper experience of God’s presence. Share on X This is what mercy and grace look like right in the midst of our trials.
Therefore let’s approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace for help at the time of our need.—Hebrews 4:16
In every problem, every issue, every need, every desperate lament of our hearts and need of our souls, Jesus makes the way for us to come confidently to God.
What an incredible promise of mercy and grace to help in the problems of this day. Not because we prayed the right prayer but because we turn to God rather than counterfeit sources of help . We refuse to let our problems distract us from the care and compassion of Christ.
We hold fast to our confession that we trust in Jesus, our perfect High Priest. His sacrifice for our sin saves us in the midst of spiraling pathologies and problems of this fallen world.
Experiencing God’s Presence in Our Problems
Let your worries shape your prayers rather than allow your problems pull you away from trusting God.
Let your need draw you closer to God.
And when you can’t seem to get there yourself, trust Him to carry you.
Don’t let heartbreak or fear rob you of the strength found in bringing your needs to God.
Understanding our weakness, Jesus faced and overcame all the temptations we experience. This is why we can pray and receive grace in the very throne room of God.
Yes, pray fiercely. Boldly. Pray confidently with heart and hands open and ready to receive precious grace.
Intercessory Prayer is Work and Worship
In this season, prayer is my work, my honor, and my worship. Prayer is an unseen expression of faith and trust.
Is God drawing you deeper in prayer during these days? Do you sense the call to intercession? Is God calling you to deeper faith as you pray for needs that feel overwhelming? Do you need to trust in Christ like never before?
You are not alone. Your Savior strengthens and carries you. He’s made a way for you to come boldly to God in prayer.
In the conflict and the strife.
Pray with faith.
In the confusion, every decision that seems to have no good answer.
Trust His heart.
In the diagnosis that devastates and threatens to steal a life.
Pray in the Spirit.
In the shadow of the pandemic and the countless losses of many kinds.
Pray with the sword of the Spirit in your hand and your shield of faith raised high.
Do you hear Abba’s call? Can you sense the love of Christ strengthening you?
Pray fiercely and rest in faith.
This is your moment to trust in Jesus.
Benefits of Grow Christian Blog Course
Ladyboss Blogger’s Grow Christian Blog Course is impressively comprehensive, packed with information, instructions, ideas, recommendations, and templates on every aspect of blogging. Wowza, I wish I had known this information the first few years of blogging! I’m excited to up-level my blog with what I’ve learned. I don’t write a lot of reviews, but I love to share great resources.
These days you can find an online course for practically any subject under the sun. After 2020, online courses have exploded. Scrolling through social media, it only takes a moment to find an ad for the latest opportunity to grow skills. Inundated with ads, It can be hard to decide whether or not to take a course. Then there is the issue of which one’s are worth the investment.
Content Creators Need to Continually Learn New Skills
In the social media and blogging arena, trends are continually changing. The expectation of publishers to have a strong online platform increases every year. New technology adds to the need for content creators to continue to learn and grow. It can feel overwhelming to decide which courses to invest time and money.
I’ve recently completed a couple of blogging courses as part of a major website update earlier this year. I committed to make the most of my investment in a new website by making time to learn the skills to take my blog to the next level. I wanted to grow in both foundational and advanced skills in this ever-changing field of online content creation. I’ve come a long way since I began blogging in 2009, but there is always new information to learn.
If you promise not to laugh too hard, I’ll share this with you. When I started blogging I didn’t even know how to email a photo. Seriously–you promised not to laugh!
Even the most basic aspects of working with a website were a slow learn. My brain seemed to scramble, making the technology curve a challenge. I’ll forever be grateful to friends who took time to teach me the basics. In fact, my college roommate built and designed my first website. I was terrified I was going to do something to break it and make the site crash! I wish I’d had access to LadyBoss Blogger’s courses from the beginning.
Grow Christian Blog is an Easy-to-Use Course
Being a bit of a techno-phobe (is that a real word? Not sure.), the first thing I loved about the course is Elaine Rau’s ability to present information in an easy-to-understand manner. Not once did I feel lost when lessons covered more technical aspects of blogging. In my book, that’s a huge win!
The LadyBoss Grow Christian Blog course features is impressively comprehensive, packed with information, instructions, ideas, recommendations, and templates on every aspect of blogging. Wowza, I wish I had known this information the first few years of blogging!
What a benefit to fast-track by having so much information in one place. Designed to equip Christian bloggers to grow. this blogging course is developed by, Elaine Rau. With God at the center of the course, Elaine addresses mindset and purpose before diving into technical content. She has a pretty amazing story if you want to read it here.
Featured on Forbes, the Huffington Post, Thrive Global, and 500+ media sites, Elaine shares that her mission is to “help Christian bloggers and influencers market and monetize their content so we can start to see more uplifting Christian content in the media. God gave you a voice, use it for His glory.”
A Quality Course for Christian Bloggers
I loved the breakdown of how to focus your time on the many aspects of successful blogging. Organization and time management are areas of blogging that I have struggled with over the years. I was surprised that content creation, the actual blogging, is only 10%. That is probably what I’ve been doing, but for years, I’ve felt like I was somehow failing or not doing enough that I wasn’t able to spend more time writing.
Pshew! Goodbye to guilt and hello to a more realistic plan/expectation to use my time wisely in sharing the messages God gives me to write!
The Foundations section gives a realistic and simple overview to plan, produce, and manage your time and effort. This comprehensive view ties all the tasks together with purpose, which I found very helpful: purpose 10%, content 10 %, income 20%, strategy 20%, email 20%, and traffic 20%. Understanding the valuable and needed role of each component helps me make the best use of my time. The modules on editorial calendars and writing for SEO are making a big difference in my traffic and the growth of my email list! Tangible results make investing in education well worth the effort!
Ready, Set, Grow!
LadyBoss Blogger teaches students how to avoid or fix common mistakes bloggers make. Oops…been doing a couple of those, but I’ve got them fixed now. That feels like a major accomplishment. Overcoming issues makes implementing new skills far more productive.
The lessons I found most helpful covered how to maximize the power of email in growing my blog. Three modules covering different aspects of email included traffic, set up, strategy, opt-ins, landing pages, and crafting effective email series. So helpful! One thing I particularly appreciate is how often Elaine includes screen shots and clear how-to instructions. For the non-techie crowd (like me), good instructions, examples, and templates make this course well worth the investment.
The two modules on Pinterest were also extremely helpful. Traffic, creation, optimization, rich pins, ranking, algorithms, design, video/story pins, are some of the Pinterest topics covered in the course. Again, lots of examples and ideas make moving from information to application a breeze. Rau shares the power of Tailwind for automation and growth for your pin account. There’s even viral pin templates to load into Canva to make creating effective pins a breeze. I use Canva and Tailwind nearly every day, so I’m glad she included these powerful tools in the course.
The final modules of the course offer an overview of monetization and bonus lists, links, and templates. The monetization is enough to get you started, but Rau offers more extensive learning in three additional monetization courses including Make Money Blogging, Make Money as an Influencer, and Monetize Your Blog and Instagram.
I’m excited to take my blog to the next level with all that I’ve learned from the Grow Christian Blog course! I haven’t had time to apply everything I’ve learned yet, but I’m thrilled to see my traffic and email list growing significantly with just the changes I’ve made thus far. Here’s a screen shot of my google analytics showing growth in the since I started the course.
This course is well worth the investment if you are going to apply all the great content Elaine teaches. I’m not saying this course includes everything you will every need to know for a successful blog, but it covers a ton of things that will help your blog grow. If you’re just getting started, the Launch Christian Blog is the course to get you going.
At the end of the day, the greatest content in the world will not make an impact if you don’t apply what we learn. I’m scheduling time on my calendar to continue to apply what I’ve learned.
I look forward to learning more from LadyBossBlogger!
Get a Discount on Grow Christian Blog Course
The Grow Christian Blog course is $197. If you’re interested in checking out Grow Christian Blog, enjoy a 20% discount when you use this promo code at check out: 238290_qnre2les! That brings the price down to $157 when you use my affiliate link and promo code.
Have you taken a great blogging course? Who have you learned from lately? Leave a comment and ask a question or share a resources. I love to hear from you!
*This post includes affiliate links at no cost to you. This means I earn a commission on any sales at no cost to you. I received access to this course free of charge in exchange for my honest review.
10 Bible Verses for a Healthy Soul
What does it mean to have a prospering soul? If your physical health was in the same condition that your spiritual health is, how healthy would you be? Vibrant health includes more than the physical condition of our bodies. Are you neglecting the health of your soul in your pursuit of your best life? 3 John 2 shows that as we grow in faith, spiritual blessings overflow into other areas of life. In this post you will find 10 Bible Verses for a healthy soul.
“… In all respects you may prosper and be in good health, just as your soul prospers.”–3 John 2–NASB
How often I get this backwards; I work on increasing health and the practicalities of life, paying attention to my soul only if there is time left over. You know the drill: finish the work, loose the weight, clean the house, make the meal…
We tend to get overly focused on the outward things, skewing our priorities. Maybe it’s a health issue, a broken relationship, or an unmet goal. We do all the doing and then wonder why discontent or weariness buzzes like white noise in the background of our thoughts.
[tweetthis]If your physical health was in the same condition as your spiritual health, how healthy would you be?[/tweetthis]
As I read this tucked-away verse, my breath catches on the phrase, “as your soul prospers.”
Soul prospers.
Dead stop, my attention is on full alert as I sense that God has something to show me.
Taking time to investigate meaning brings the word prosper to life as I savor the nuances that hide between the letters. In this context, prosper has to do with the success of a good journey, as well as to thrive, grow, and increase. Growing in a deeper life with God nurtures a healthy soul.
Yes, this is what we are longing for: to live well, grow, and thrive in the whole of life.
If we only attend to soul matters if there is leftover time, we quickly trip over this truth: time doesn’t come in left-overs.
Nurturing our soul is an intentional choice.
Friend, you are the only one who can make the decision to care for your soul. Others can poke and prod, should and ought, or encourage and nudge, but no one can take care of your interior world but you.
After all, as Dr. Suess says, “”Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.”
[tweetthis]Nourish your gifts, thoughts, emotions, dreams, and beliefs through the power of the Holy Spirit.[/tweetthis]
I don’t know about you, in the schedule of the day, this is an easy truth to forget. Soul care gets buried under the pile constantly calling for our attention.
A prospering soul doesn’t happen in a single moment.
The language in this verse points to a journey, step by step as we walk out what it means to believe God.
We navigate the joys and challenges of life with a heart that chooses to love God
in spite of…
instead of…
in light of…
because of…
Each choice becomes a step that moves us either closer or farther away from God. Which direction are you moving these days?
Razor-sharp perception pierces: as the soul prospers, other areas of life increase. This is not the plastic promise of a prosperity gospel. The soul prospering is happening, and John is praying that now health and “all respects” might prosper as well. His prayer is a request for blessing.
[tweetthis hidden_hashtags=”#spiritualgrowth”]The soul that prospers is the soul satisfied in God.[/tweetthis]
The prosperous soul is learning to live out of the fullness of God’s Spirit, rather than out of the strivings of the flesh, a self-focused heart.
- The flesh will leave me spent and weary with my soul withering.
- Seeking to enjoy spiritual blessings without trusting in Christ leaves my soul working to prosper, rather than resting to prosper.
- In quiet trust, my soul lays down its self-work, self-ambition, and self-solutions and waits to be filled to all the fullness of Christ.
A prospering soul is the end of encouragement. John Piper writes, “God is most glorified when we are. most satisfied in Him.” This quote points us to the core of a healthy, prospering soul.
This life-giving energy strengthens me—not to solve every issue of life—but to know in greater measure the fullness of Christ. Spiritual growth feeds our soul in a powerful way.
What is the condition of your soul life today?
Are you increasing in soul health? If not, join me as I follow the advice of the One who put the stars in place:
10 Bible Verses to Nurture a Healthy Soul
- “But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.”–Matthew 6:33 NASB
- “The Law of the Lord is perfect, restoring the soul; The testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple.”–Psalm 19:7 NASB
- “The Lord is my shepherd, I will not be in need. He lets me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul…”–Psalm 23:1-3 NASB
- “Who is the person who fears the Lord? He will instruct him in the way he should choose. His soul will dwell in prosperity…”–Psalm 25:12-13 NASB
- “Trust in the Lord and do good; Live in the land and cultivate faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord; And He will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He will do it.”–Psalm 37:3-5 NASB - “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.–Proverbs 3:5-6 NASB
- “Pleasant words are a honeycomb, Sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.”–Proverbs 16:24
- “And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’”–Matthew 22:37 NASB
- “For the word of God is living and active, and sharper than any two-edged sword, even penetrating as far as the division of soul and spirit, of both joints and marrow, and able to judge the thoughts and intentions of the heart.–Hebrews 4:12 NASB
- “Now may the God of peace Himself sanctify you entirely; and may your spirit and soul and body be kept complete, without blame at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.”– 1 Thessalonians 5:23 NASB
What can you do today to thrive in your soul How healthy is your soul?
Get free resources to nurture a healthy soul and a deeper faith in God in my Subscriber Library!
More Posts to Nurture a Healthy Soul
- 5 Ways to Restore Your Soul This Summer
- Seek First: One Simple Way to Settle Your Soul
- 5 Godly Ways to Care for Your Soul
- 22 Ways to Care for Your Soul
- How to Care for Your Soul: Best Tips from 13 Christian Bloggers
Thrive in Your Soul with Holy Choices
A powerful encouragement for anyone who struggles to overcome anxiety, perfectionism, insecurity, or other mindsets that hold us back. Grow in holiness without the pressure of having everything “just right.” Through gentle encouragement, biblical insights, and applicable ideas you can experience a deeper life of freedom in Christ. Transparently sharing my own struggles, I want to help you live from the reality of hope, healing, and holiness.
*Disclaimer: This post contains an affiliate link at no cost to you.
Linking with these communities: Inspire Me Monday
25 Good Habits for the Art of Friendship
Friendship is an art built on good habits of relationships. Learn to be the friend you long to have with 25 ideas for strong relationships. We don’t come into this world know how to be a good friend. If we look for the perfect friend, we won’t find one. We will never be the perfect friend either. Friendship isn’t about perfection; it is about connection–and love, and joy, and giving, and being real, and letting others be themselves.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
The Joy of Friendship
Toes splash in the water as three girls play, sharing hearts and enjoying the day. The joy of friendship radiates from their smiles and rings in their laughter. In this moment, friendship seems an easy gift on a warm summer day.
Though some friendships come easily, most relationships are built over time. I remember days when my girls were small. With a tear-stained face, one asked me, “Why doesn’t Annie like me?”
How do I answer that? I don’t remember what I said exactly, but this little slip of a girl already understood that friendship isn’t always an easy thing.
The Importance of Learning to Be a Good Friend
We don’t enter this world knowing how to be a good friend. A big part of growing up involves learning to be a good friend. Remember all those times you had to tell your kids to share and play nice?
[tweetthis]And in reality, aren’t we all still learning the art of friendship?[/tweetthis]
On our hard days, we may be tempted to focus on disappointments in friendship. The friend that ignored our request, the one who betrayed our trust, or the one who left us out. We’ve all experienced a time when a friend didn’t act like a friend, and that is hard, sometimes heartbreaking. The rejection or betrayal of a trusted friend can wound and isolate us if we let it.
Sometimes those disappointments are what they seem, but others we may not have the whole story. When we shift our focus to being the friend we’d like to have, we begin to love others with our best self. The one that is secure in Jesus and ready to share his love with others. Which one of these ways of friendship creates a deep gladness in your soul? What is one thing you can to do today to be a good friend?
25 Practical Ways to Be a Good Friend
Build strong friendships with these helpful ideas for mastering the art of friendship.
- Take the initiative to invite friends to do things rather than wait for someone else.
- Be an encourager. Develop the habit of cheering for others and celebrating friends.
- Never underestimate the power of laughter and silly fun.
- Reciprocate—good friendship is a two-way thing. It can be hurtful to invest in a relationship and not have it reciprocated.
- Be reliable—show up and value being on time. Try your best not to disappoint friends who are counting on you.
- Follow through. Avoid vague comments, “Let’s get together soon.” Make a specific plan and follow through.
- Schedule time for friendship. It is an important part of life and not just a luxury. Stop feeling guilty about spending time with friends. Seriously, stop it!
- Be intentional. Don’t let busyness crowd out friendship. The busier you are, the more important it is to plan ahead for time with friends.
- Refuse to gossip and find a graceful way to squelch rumors when you hear them.
- Keep confidences. When a friend asks you not to repeat information, honor that request.
- Share the load. Volunteer to help, to listen, or to console when it is needed.
- Be real. Be brave about sharing your needs and struggles when appropriate.
- Give the grace-gift of belonging. Welcome newcomers and include others. You may have a set group of friends, but be willing to make room for more.
- Sit beside someone you don’t know well rather than always sitting with friends.
- Ask good questions that draw others into meaningful conversation. Small talk has it’s place, but sharing our real stories draws people together.
- Don’t monopolize conversations or only talk about yourself. Give the gift of a listening ear.
- Be thankful—a cherished friend is a gift from God.
- Give a thoughtful gift or send a note of encouragement. Texting is great, but old-fashioned snail mail never gets old.
- Don’t hide or excuse your mistakes and weaknesses. We all have them.
- Avoid the trap of comparison and envy. Recognize these destructive thoughts and get rid of them.
- Be careful with expectations. Many feelings get hurt due to unrealistic or unmet expectations. Sometimes we don’t even realize we have them.
- Be quick to give and ask for forgiveness. Treat others the way you want to be treated in this difficult area of relationships.
- Let go of judgment, comparison, and criticism. Assume good will, giving others the benefit of the doubt.
- Pray for your friends and invite Jesus into your relationship. He knows how to be the best friend of all.
- Give your friend the biggest piece of cake.(I learned this one from my mama.) And don’t hog the last piece of chocolate…
We may not be able to do all of these things at the same time or keep it up all the time, but we can all do some of these things more often. Friendship is an art built on good habits of relationships. Let this list of practical ideas spark your own list of best practices for building strong relationships.
Which one of these habits has made a difference in your friendships? Which one do you want to work on? Let’s encourage each other through leaving comments today.
Free Resources for a Deeper Life from Ginger
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I’m honored that this post was featured at For Every Mom! I hope you enjoyed this updated version of one of my articles with the highest traffic over the years. For more content on friendship, check out the friendship chapter of my book, Holy in the Moment, or enjoy one of the related posts below. *This is an affiliate link at no cost to you.
More posts on friendship:
- Are You Well-Dressed for Friendship?
- Three Kinds of Friends You Don’t Want to Do Without
- Do You Have the Gift of Girlfriend?
- I Give You Permission to Spend Time with Friends
Help for Moments When Anxiety and Worry Get the Best of You
Anxiety and worry can feel overwhelming. This post includes tips to overcome anxiety and worry that have helped me deal with these difficult emotions. We all need encouragement and help when powerful emotions, fearful thoughts, and difficult circumstances get the best of us. Spiritual wisdom, biblical truth, and practical strategies are keys to deepen faith and peace to respond rather than react when anxiety strikes. Be sure to get your free Emotional Health Workbook for processing your emotions.
I roll over in bed and a fearful thought rises to the surface of my consciousness. My heart speeds up and the friction of stress moves from head to my gut. Breathing shallow in the space between sleep and wakefulness, I try to squelch the fear that spirals with every what if my vulnerable mind conceives.
In full on worry-mode, my thoughts turn to problem solving. How to fix, how to make it better, how to make it through. With a heavy heart, I think about a loved one experiencing hard times and uncertain circumstances.
As I become more aware of my thoughts and feelings, I pray, “Lord, help me to trust You. I know You are good, faithful, merciful, and kind.”
Then the next fearful thought bombards my mind and the anxiety hits again.
I’ve learned to get out of bed to break the pattern and change the environment when anxiety surfaces in the night hours. I go downstairs to sit in my favorite chair and read my Bible. From this position, I am more able to release my concerns, hold fast to faith, and calm my frazzled emotions.
In the quiet, Jesus reminds me that worry doesn’t solve anything, bringing a passage from Matthew 6 to my attention.
What Jesus Teaches about Worry and Anxiety
“Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? And why are you anxious about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin, yet I tell you, even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is alive and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
“Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Mt. 6:25-34).
Our energy is much better spent on seeking and trusting God. This is easy to say, but so hard to do. To not let anxiety get the best of you takes practice. It requires trust, courage, and perseverance. But most of all, peace is found by releasing of our anxieties into the loving hands of our Father.
We Will Have Reasons to Worry
Our days do have trouble, some far more than others. Jesus teaches us that our provision comes from God who knows what we need. God isn’t caught unaware or unprepared. He hasn’t overlooked or missed our pain. Truth can seem disconnected to our troubles when we face the fears that keep us awake at night.
The size and scope of our problems do not negate the faithfulness and power of God. When I worry, I slip into the old habit of verifying the faithfulness of God based on my experience. It is a coping pattern of my flesh that I learned early in life. Anxiousness is like a default setting in my brain–I go there so quickly.
I used to believe that standing firm in faith meant I’d never struggle with anxiousness, as if worry was the blight of spiritual immaturity and weak faith. I lectured and shamed myself for letting anxiety get the best of me.
I thought greater faith would keep me from waking in the night with fear and the worst-case scenarios winding me up tight. So I determined to outgrow anxiety, to shed it like a snake sheds the skin it no longer needs. Someday I will, but not this side of heaven.
I longed for faith to protect me from problems and pain. It simply doesn’t work that way.“Sufficient for the day is its own trouble” (Mt. 6:34). This statement acknowledges the reality that we will have trouble.
Anxiety steals peace in our hard and painful moments. How does worry impact you? #overcomeanxiety Share on X
Worry and Anxiety are Like a Tennis Match
Over time, and way too much experience with anxious emotions, I’m learning to turn my thoughts and prayers to Father rather than dwell on the what if’s, the unknowns, and the scary possibilities. I wish I could say that it is a once-and-done process, but more often it is more like a tennis match.
Anxious thoughts are like a tennis ball bouncing back and forth over the net, from fear to faith, from worry to trust. Sometimes the enemy lops the ball high and it drops hard. Other times, he serves a fast ball spinning full force.
The more we put our attention on God’s goodness, lovingkindness, faithfulness, and provision, the sooner fear settles down. This power of choosing holy in our anxious moments. When we do, we win the point, but there may come another volley until the match /situation is fully entrusted to God.
Our human bodies are wired with emotions. We will experience the emotions of fear and worry, but growing in faith teaches how to stand firm. Growing in faith helps us to stay in the present as we turn our attention to Christ rather than be overwhelmed by circumstances.
Faith Decisions that Help with Anxiety and Worry:
Anxiety and worry feed off our fear of loss and our desire for control. Let anxiety intensify your dependence on God. Each of these decisions are ways of seeking God, ways of running to Father.
- Trust God wholeheartedly rather than try to figure it out on your own. (Pro. 3:5-6)
- Pray about concerns with gratitude rather than worry (Phil 4:6-7).
- Seek Him first and believe that He will provide. (Mt. 6:33-34)
- Set our mind on things eternal. (Col. 3:2)
- Fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and completer of our faith. (Hebrews 12:2)
- Cast our anxieties on God who cares for us (1 Peter 5:7)
These actions of faith help us deal with anxiety and worry. Friend, if you are anxious about difficult circumstances, a fearful diagnosis, mounting problems, or financial need, I pray these reflections help. Today I simply, and openly, share the conversation of my soul with my God through His word.
Steps to Overcome Anxiety and Worry
Let’s break this down to specific steps that bring God into the negative as we respond in faith rather than react in fear. These strategies help us carry out our decisions of faith.
- Notice and process your emotions. Learn from the messages your emotions reveal about what you are believing in this moment.
- Feel what you feel without judging, lecturing, or criticizing yourself. If you stuff, discount, or deny your emotions, they will find a way to leak out in ways impact our experience, beliefs, behavior, relationships, and health. Feel it but don’t get stuck in your emotions.
- Make the conscious choice to not let your feelings shape what you believe. Hold fast to the truths of God. Experience your emotions, but believe what is true, not what you feel. Look at your situation from the lens of God’s truth rather than look at God from the lens of your experience.
- Ask the Holy Spirit to give you peace as you release your concerns to God in prayer. Purpose to look for blessings and practice gratitude (Phil. 4:7). It often feels counterintuitive to thank God in the midst of anxiety, but gratitude interrupts the negative thinking that keeps us in anxious patterns. Thanksgiving reminds of of tangible examples of God’s goodness, which can settle our hearts as we release our concerns in prayer.
- Speak God’s truth to your soul—read it, say it, declare it, sing it, write it, share it, embrace it, believe it. And then say it again. And again. As many times as it takes.
- Be kind to yourself. Understand we all feel anxious at times. Refuse to engage in negative self-talk. Remember that fear is a favorite strategy in the enemy’s spiritual warfare.
- Talk through your feelings with a trusted friend or counselor. Talking about concerns can weaken the power of anxious thoughts as we share them aloud with a compassionate listener.
Helpful Questions for Working Through Anxiety, Worry, and Fear
In the emotions chapter of Holy in the Moment, I shared questions that help me work through emotions and stand against anxiety and fear. These processing questions can also help you work through other feelings and thoughts including disappointment, anger, frustration, impatience, discontent, and doubt. When your emotions overwhelm, work through these questions with God. Pray, listen, trust, as you reflect on the following:
- In this situation, what am I really thinking/believing?
- What need is attached to this feeling? (Our deep needs include love, value, worth, acceptance, and security).
- What is true?
- Lord, what is this really about? What do you want me to understand?
- What do You want me to know about You, Lord? In what area am I not trusting You?
- In what way do You want to change me, Lord? What attitude or behavior of my flesh am I choosing instead of You?
- Is there a right I need to surrender? A person I need to forgive?
- How should I embrace truth in this situation?
These are practical steps to choosing faith over fear and staying present with God in the now rather than worrying about the future. Be encouraged by this loving instruction and promise of God:
‘Do not fear, for I am with you;
Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you, surely I will help you,
Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.’ (Isaiah 41:10 NASB 1995)
With holy imagination, sense your heavenly Father whispering: You don’t have to be afraid. Stop anxiously looking for answers but look to Me. Remember I am your God. Remember I am with you. Believe that I will help you when your faith gives way to fear. I will hold you up. I am here. (based on Isaiah 41:10)
Hold fast to this beautiful promise of fighting for faith over fear. Make the holy choice to trust God one more time. If music helps settle your emotions, you may enjoy the song, Run to the Father from Cody Barnes.
What does it look like for you to trust God in this moment? Do you know someone that would be helped by this post? Please share on social media and send them a personal note of encouragement as you share this article. We need to support each other when we struggle in the hard times of life.
Would you join me in praying for my loved one? How can I pray for you?
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Want more help for dealing with worry and anxiety? Grab my free Emotional Health Workbook for more help processing your emotions. Get access to my Subscriber Library, free with newsletter sign up. Read the story of my battle with anxiety in the first chapter of Holy in the Moment on the book page. (You’ll find it halfway down under Free Downloadable Resources (no email needed).
Read More Posts on Dealing with Worry and Anxiety:
How Trusting God Helped Me Overcome Worry
How Holy Choices Can Help When You Feel Anxious and Stressed
Why You Should Stop Discounting Your Anxiety
How to Cope with Worry, Anxiety, and Fear
How to Identify and Overcome Negative Thinking
Learn to identify and overcome negative thinking patterns that hold you back. Discover strategies for positive thinking and why it is important. Your mindset is a vital part of who you are, what you believe, and how you live. Mindset has to do with the beliefs and thought patterns that help you make sense of life, learn and grow, make and accomplish goals, and much more. Are you ready to stop stinkin’ thinkin’ in your life?
What is Mindset and Why Does it Matter?
Different from personality and attitude, mindset impacts how we feel about ourselves and others. How we think and what we believe impacts every area of life including health, relationships, work, habits, beliefs, and faith.
Have you ever tried to turn off your mind when your thoughts are racing faster than a dog chasing a squirrel? Some scientists report that the average person thinks 48.6 thoughts per minute, and around 70,000 thoughts a day. Mercy that’s a lot of thoughts, isn’t it! Your mindset is more than the total thoughts that run through your mind.
Mindset is formed by the general focus, quality, and character of your thoughts. It is vital to understand that we have a choice about what we set our minds on. The Bible tells us to set our mind on things above, to not loose sight of the eternal when we live in the temporal.
The Bible tells us to “Set your minds on the things that are above, not the things that are on earth (Colossians 3:2).
This instruction is so easy to just pass right over. Too often I give it a mental nod, and then keep getting wrapped up in what’s going on around me. To set our minds takes intention, effort, and faith. It doesn’t happen by accident. When we keep God‘s perspective in view, we see today differently.
We see others differently. We see ourselves differently.
Think About What You are Thinking About
What has been your overall mindset lately? What do you think about most? Are your thoughts generally positive or negative? I’m not talking about the onsie’s and the twosie’s. I’m referring to the thought patterns that have become habitual.
What is the default setting that is the first to show up unless you intentionally reset your thought? When we pay attention to our mindset we can see the general direction our thoughts take us:
- Self or others?
- Focusing on problems or resting in faith?
- Frustrated or joyful?
- Complaining or content?
- Depending on self or relying on God?
- Listening to lies or holding fast to truth?
- Worldly or godly?
- Toxic or healthy?
- Critical or kind?
For me, this is an “ouchy” subject. I have to admit that my thoughts veer negative in the default settings of my brain in several of these areas. How about you?
Pray for God to Help You Identify Your Thought Patterns
As you reflect on the trend of your thoughts, what is God highlighting to you? If you’re not sure, here are a few verses that are helpful to pray for God to help you see what’s really going on in your head and your heart:
“Search me, God, and know my heart;
Put me to the test and know my anxious thoughts;
And see if there is any hurtful way in me,
And lead me in the everlasting way.”–Psalm 139:23-24
Have you ever invited God to help you go deeper into what you’re thinking and why? It’s so important to remember the truth that God loves and forgives you. There’s so much to say about how we view God, that I’ll save that for another day. For now, just grab hold of this truth and don’t let go:
“See how great a love the Father has given us, that we would be called children of God.” –1 John 3:1
Consider how Romans 12:2 relates to the importance of our mindset.
“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”–Romans 12:2 ESV
There is a reason Paul gave this instruction to the Roman church–they were struggling with their mindset.
The philosophies, values, and shifting trends of our culture can shape our thinking if we aren’t careful. With the explosion of information and public discourse in this digital age, we are more vulnerable than ever for our thinking to be shaped by the world around us.
God transforms our minds, but we have an important part of the process.
One of my favorite quotes on mindset is from Watchman Nee. He wrote, “No life can be truly changed apart from a change of mind.”
Are you seeking change, improvement, progress, or healing in some area of your life? Transformation will not bypass your mind.
If we want to behave differently, we need to begin to think differently. #mindsetmatters Share on X
How to Identify Negative Thought Patterns
A pattern is a trend, a tendency, or a habit. We’ve just talked about recognizing whether our general mindset is positive or negative. Learning to stop negative thinking takes time.
Let’s take this deeper. How do we identify negative thinking that has become a pattern in our lives? For me, learning a little vocabulary expands my understanding to be able to identify types of distorted thinking.
10 Common Negative Thinking Patterns
Rita Schulte’s book, Think This, Not That provides a valuable list of thought patterns that distort our perspective and ignite difficult emotions. I also shared this list in the post “Strategies and Scriptures to Combat Negative Thinking.”
- Should, must, ought to be, and have to be statements: These inflexible beliefs are based on misperceptions and can lead to anxiety, depression, self pity, anger, and guilt.
- Jumping to conclusions, mind reading, and fortune telling (thinking we know what will happen): These patterns interpret situations and outcomes based on distortions, fears, and beliefs.
- Overgeneralization: This cognitive distortion happens when we assume that because something happened one way it will always happen that way. We can recognize this thinking pattern by words like never, always, and everyone.
- Personalization: When we see things as our fault without recognizing other contributing factors, we are personalizing. People who personalize see the issue as something wrong with themselves, a character flaw or deficit. It often cycles into personal name calling (I’m an idiot, I’m a loser, I’m unloveable) and self-condemnation.
- Disqualifying the positive: Schulte explains this pattern, “Disqualifying the positive is a way we overestimate a negative outcome and minimize our ability to cope with difficult situations. We reject our positive experiences, or our strengths, and we focus instead on the negative aspects of our situation or our character” (p.97).
- Catastrophizing: Imagining the worst and blowing things out of proportion are typical of catastrophizing thoughts. This kind of thinking provokes anxiety, focusing on what if’s and fears.
- Emotional reasoning: Interpreting negative feelings as truth is a destructive pattern of unhealthy thinking. I feel unworthy becomes a belief that I am unworthy. I wrote a lot about this pattern in Holy in the Moment.
- All or nothing thinking. This pattern moves from one extreme to another, not recognizing the middle ground between. For example, feeling inadequate may lead to the belief I must be perfect or I’m a total failure.
- Externalizing: The opposite of personalizing, externalizing blames others or situations without acknowledging any role or responsibility in the issue. We find a biblical example of externalizing when Jesus asks, “Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3).
- Magnifying/minimizing: Making a mountain out of a molehill is a type of magnifying thoughts. On the opposite extreme is minimizing situations, feelings, pain, problems, offenses. Again, Dr. Schulte helpfully explains the problem with minimizing: “Here you shrink the importance of things, such as your feelings when you’re hurt, saying they don’t really matter, for one reason or the other. This is often known as the martyr complex. Comparing yourself or what you’re going through with what someone else is feeling is another way to open the door for minimizing. It’s healthy to feel your feelings when you have them. Minimizing does your pain a disservice” (p.101).
Is your brain exploding yet? I know this is a lot to take in. Stay with me because it is worth the effort to identify and overcome negative thinking patterns that keep us stuck and hold us back for the healthy and holy life God has for us! It’s worth the effort and you are worth the effort.
Don't let toxic thinking patterns derail you from living in the freedom and wholeness of your identity in Christ. Share on X
How to Break Negative Thinking Patterns
Choose one thought pattern to address.
Identifying the toxic patterns that shape our mindset is important. It is the first step on the path of change and transformation. But here’s the thing–taking the first step doesn’t get us to the destination.
Maybe the first step is all you’ve got bandwidth for today. That’s okay, friend. I’ve been there. If that’s you, do yourself a favor. Save this post and come back to it when you are ready to move forward.
Steps to Healthy and Positive Thinking
- Ask God to help you choose one negative thinking pattern to address. Transformation is God’s specialty, and it doesn’t happen unless he is part of the process. (Romans 12:1-2).
- Write the healthy pattern you want to practice, and post your reminder where you will see it frequently.
- Schedule a time with God to pray and reflect on the root and the why of this pattern. Here are a few questions to pray about: What do you want for me to know about this? When did I begin to have this type of thought? What emotions and behaviors does this pattern lead me to? What kinds of response do I usually have to this kind of thought? How is this pattern impacting my physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual health?
- Ask the Holy Spirit to help you catch yourself in the moment when you slip into this one pattern. Don’t try to address them all at once. Keep it simple with small steps forward. Awareness opens the door to making a better choice.
- Begin the holy habit of bringing your thought to Christ and ask him to help you. “We are destroying arguments and all arrogance raised against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5).
- Evaluate what is really true rather than jumping to conclusions. Look at the bigger picture in the situation. Give time to see the situation or thought in light of what is true according to God’s Word. Is it really true that you “always get it wrong”? Is it true that the situation is 100% the other person’s fault? Is it true that things “never” work out for you?
- Choose not to dwell on the negative thought. A thought may come to the door of your mind, but that doesn’t mean you have to invite it in. And you certainly don’t have to serve it dinner or let it move in! In Holy in the Moment, I wrote that you are the doorkeeper of your mind. God has given you the ability to reject a thought. Sometime’s I think and pray: “I don’t want to think this negative thought. I shut the door on it. Lord, please help me choose to think about this in a healthier and more positive way.”
- Practice choosing a better thought pattern when you aren’t under pressure. When you’ve got some down time, practice better ways to reframe a negative thought pattern. Then begin practicing in the moment the Holy Spirit brings a negative thought pattern to your awareness.
- Trust God to do the work of transforming your mind as you cooperate in the process. Be patient with yourself. Renewing your mind takes time. Rely on the Holy Spirit’s help to do what you can’t do. Overtime, you will build new patterns of healthy thinking.
Consider what life will look like when you overcome this negative thought pattern.
You can do this, friend! I believe in you and so does God. Are you ready to get started? The very best place to start is in prayer. Invite God to go through the steps in this post and begin today. What negative thinking pattern do you need to address today?
If negative thinking is a challenge for you, I’ve got a free resource for you in my Subscriber Library. Overcome Negative Thinking for a Deeper Life features more strategies, encouragement, and 50 Scriptures to combat toxic thoughts in your life. Reflect and pray about one verse each day as you practice the strategies in the book and in this post.
A Few of the Spiritual Growth Resources in the Subscriber Library.
*This post contains an affiliate link at no cost to you.
More Posts to Overcome Negative Thinking
- Why Positive Thinking is Good for a Healthy Body, Soul, and Spirit
- Why You Should Stop Discounting Your Anxiety
- Are Your Feelings Defining Your Faith
- 10 Free Resources for an Emotionally Health You
- 20 Toxic Ways of Thinking That Will Poison Your Life
- 3 Reasons Why You Should Let Go of Negative Thinking
- Strategies and Scriptures to Combat Negative Thinking: With Free E-book
14 Things I’d Say to My Younger Self About Being a Mom
Tips and truths learned from experience in parenting. Experience is the best teacher, and these are the things I’d say to my younger self about being a mom. Parenting tips, encouragement and wisdom for moms is vital to the parenting journey.
The Challenge of Being a New Parent
“My how time flies” is one of the. most common parenting quotes I’ve heard and said. When I remember what it was like to be a new parent it is like entering a time warp. How can twenty-eight years pass so quickly? The little boy (isn’t he cute?!) in the photo above is now 28. Twenty-eight years of joy, hard work, love, challenge, and many blessings.
Remembering the Day I Became a Mom
In my last post, I shared the story of my first day as a mom. How I sat on the hospital bed in a puddle of tears. Tears of exhaustion, wonder, overwhelm, and fear. I remember thinking, “When I checked into the hospital a few days ago, I was just me. Now I am a mother. I’m leaving the hospital with a baby and a car seat that I’m not quite sure how to work.”
“What if I can’t do this? I have no idea how to be a parent.” The baby class taught us how to change a diaper and give a bath, but somehow this just isn’t enough preparation to bring a baby home from the hospital.
A few days later my mother in law, the baby pro, came to help out. She raised four boys and walks on water. I tried to learn everything about being a parent in those two short weeks.
I begged her not to leave.
Though parenting is one of the great joys in life, we can struggle under the weight of responsibility. If I could go back and sit on that hospital bed with my twenty-seven-year-old self. I’d bring a big cup of coffee, a pound of chocolate, and an extra dose of encouragement. And I would pass along a few things I’ve learned along the way.
Things I’d Say to My Younger Self About Being a Mom
You can do this. You don’t have to be an expert to begin the parenting journey. You will learn and grow far more than you can imagine at this moment. You can do lot’s of mommy things and you have wisdom in your heart. You are stronger than you know.(Philippians 4:13).
Trust God to grow you into the best parent you can be. Parenting isn’t just for raising children–it is also for growing up parents. Never forget that God has entrusted you with children and will help you where you struggle if you will seek Him diligently (Proverbs 3:5-6).
Pray every day. Pray for your children, for your parenting, and your marriage daily. Ask the Holy Spirit to help you pray and give you wisdom (Philippians 4:6-7, Romans 8:26).
Teach your children to love God and live by His word. [tweetthis hidden_hashtags=”#parentingtips #parentingadvice”]No one can teach your children the blessing of following God like you can. [/tweetthis] Keep His words in your heart and in your conversation. Read them Bible stories and point out God’s faithfulness in the little things each day (Deuteronomy 6:6-7).
Be willing to wait. Today is not the end of the story. Some days and phases seem to inch along. Your baby will sleep through the night someday. The days of tantrums will pass. There will come a day when your child no will longer cling to your leg or grab hold of your shirt with messy hands. All the hard things will pass as you both grow through them. Be willing to wait and let nurture, time, and wisdom do its job. Some days may seem long, but the years are short. (Galatians 6:9)
Find a godly mentor mom. Build a friendship with a more experienced Christian mom. These moms will encourage and advise you, helping you to overcome challenges and grow in faith. God is going to put some amazing women in your life to help you along the way (Titus 2:3-5).
Set realistic goals and expectations. Even though your child watches Baby Einstein videos, they probably won’t learn algebra before preschool. Many frustrations of parenting come when we expect a two year old to have the self-control of a five year old. Unrealistic expectations frustrate kids as well (Ephesians 6:4).
Don’t let nagging, complaining, or whining become the norm in your family. Negative attitudes are contagious and can become bad habits. Both kids and adults can struggle with these unpleasant behaviors. Never forget encouraging words empower our children (Philippians 2:14).
Laugh often and let yourself play. Make the most of your days and enjoy the little blessings along the way. Master the art of building with blocks, cherish the hilarious things kids say, and put on a ballet tutu and twirl. It’s easy to get bogged down with chores, tasks, attitudes, and stress. Find joy in the small ordinary moments with laughter and play (Proverbs 17:22).
Don’t underestimate the importance of rest. Tired children are cranky kids, and weary mommies get fussy too. Exhaustion warps perspective, making small problems seem like the end of the world. Don’t buy into lie that your child doesn’t need a regular bed time. Nap time is a blessed space; keep a rest time in your schedule even after your child stops sleeping during naps. Physical rest is important and spiritual rest is too. (Lamentations 3:22-23).
Frequently evaluate your schedule, routines, and discipline. Do you need to reset boundaries, add a new challenge, simplify a crazy schedule? Undo chaos in your home is generally a sign you need to reset. Make adjustments as the need arises.
Don’t neglect discipline and training. You are the parent, it’s your job to say no when needed and to enforce wise rules (Hebrews 12:11). Teach your children manners and model kindness. (Ephesians 4:32).
Enjoy your kids every day. You will never have this day, this age again. Don’t let the hard moments cloud joy and appreciation of the gifts you have. Build the habit of seeking joy each day. Find something to appreciate, smile, laugh, or relish daily. A joyful heart creates energy and gives perspective.
Your kids are amazing and so are you. Crafted by God, each one of us are made in His image. Enjoy the special qualities of your children and marvel at the wonder of God at work in their lives. (Psalm 139:13-16).
To quote the great philosopher, Winnie the Pooh, “The smallest things take up the most room in your heart.” Make the most of each day as you love your children in the countless ways that best come from you, that special woman called Mommy. There is life, love, and wisdom that are your precious mother’s gift to your children. Each and every day look for the extraordinary in the small joys and little miracles that fill your life. After twenty-eight years as a mom, these truths still guide my choices and encourage my heart.
For more tips and truths I’ve learned about parenting, check out the parenting chapter of my book, Holy in the Moment: Simple Ways to Love God and Enjoy Your Life. Learn more on Amazon or on my book page.
You can find all the scriptures from this post listed here and here.
More Encouragment for Moms
10 Bible Verses to Encourage Moms When They Need it Most
Powerful Truth Gives Direction For Our Children
Letting Them Go: Faith Prayers For Our Children
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