Peek Behind the Scenes: Writing My First Book
When was the last time you needed to take time to rest your mind?
This may sound like a sure would be nice kind of question, but I’ve been grappling with this question lately.
In my last post, I talked about feeling like my brain ran out of words after finishing my first manuscript on time.
I’ve studied writing for a long time and this topic has not come up. Maybe I’m just being lazy, acting entitled because “I just wrote a book?”
Nah.
I know the Holy Spirit authored the book, but that didn’t mean the process was easy.
It was the hardest work I’ve ever done. And the best. The most precious.
Friends, peek behind the scenes of writing my first book. Most of these lessons apply to life, not just writing.
Writing Holy in the Moment has been a tremendous walk of faith, daily putting one foot in front of the other on a high wire of faith–because that’s where the Holy Spirit creates–at least for me in this book.
As a blogger, used to writing 500-800 words at a time, I definitely experienced a learning curve in working with a long-form project.
Fueled by the faithful prayer of many, I didn’t write this book in the comfort of what I knew I could do, the ease of “I’ve got this.” So to all of you who have prayed for me, I am tremendously grateful for your prayer.
What began years ago as an idea for a simple devotional expanded to a full-on, non-fiction book, a manifesto of living holy, loving well, and finding freedom from the things that keep us stuck.
(Click on the gratitude graphic for a free download).
I’m grateful for the entire process and I’m looking forward to the next step of this adventure, as the book has just been sent for the copy edit, having been approved by my editor. Another big Woohoo!
Holy in the Moment shares the life message of what God has been teaching me through deep struggles with anxiety that have plagued me far too often over the years.
Sacred ground of God’s work in my life, each page is an offering of personal stories, truths, lessons learned, and practical steps God has worked into my life as I’ve become aware of the deep cost of the pressure of perfectionism and the fear of rejection.
Relying on Christ in the moment is a holy choice that makes a practical difference in every area of life.
Friends, the tension between fear and holiness wasn’t in my outline, but I’m thankful the Holy Spirit had a deeper intention. God has made me brave in the writing of the book, for the go-to of my flesh is to keep my inner-crazy to myself, thank you very much!
So all this to say, I’m learning that writing a God-driven book begins and ends with following His lead. You may start with a firm outline, but allowing the Holy Spirit to highjack your plan will take you places you never expected to write.
You will not write on your timetable or comfort level–and yet God knows exactly what He’s doing and He will not be late.
I hope I’m learning lasting lessons about taking life and work one day at a time at the pace the Holy Spirit sets. About working in faith and being able to choose to rest in trust even when the process doesn’t look like I anticipated.
And isn’t it just like God to ensure that I have to apply the premise of the book as I write each chapter?
Why is this? I think it is because God takes the time to work a book into your life before it ever comes out on a page. That’s why the process isn’t quick or easy.
I wouldn’t want it any other way. Not really.
Trusting God in the process of our work is a concept that applies to relationships, jobs, parenting, marriage, and every meaningful area of life, because walking by faith means…
working by faith
loving by faith
writing by faith
parenting by faith
growing by faith
_____ by faith (fill in the blank)
Learn to let the Holy Spirit lead, trusting Him with the journey, the direction, and the results.
[tweetthis hidden_hashtags=”#HolyintheMoment”]Each time we choose to trust God with the process and the outcome, we choose holy in the moment.[/tweetthis]
Are you in a season of intense work in some area of your life? Trust God with your work today. With each new day, make the holy choice to trust Him again.
On Finishing Holy in the Moment and a Gift
Pssst…Don’t miss the free graphics to print at the end of the post.
Finish.
Submit.
Celebrate!
I am one seriously grateful gal to have finished my book Holy in the Moment!
On time! Yippe-Skippie!
The week before the Nov. 1 book deadline, I had the privilege of speaking at our San Diego Planting Roots conference.
I wasn’t quite sure I could finish before leaving for San Diego–but God was right on time. 10 pm the night before I left, the book was ready to submit.
Coming back home, I thought of all the things I needed to do. Jump back in the saddle and keep moving. That was my plan.
Sometimes it’s best not to make a plan.
Today I sit at my desk for the first time to write. Feeling like my brain stripped a few gears to finish my manuscript on deadline, I’ve been catching up on life.
Real life.
Nitty gritty things like cleaning the bathroom, grocery shopping, and removing inches of dust from every surface of my house. Every single one.
Things like getting back into a semi-normal sleep pattern and spending time with people and seeing beyond the two feet between me and the computer screen.
Cleaning up my office was a multi-day project.
It’s been glorious.
And a little weird.
I’ve broken every rule of blogging and social media as all activity on the computer has come to a standstill. I know bloggers aren’t supposed to do that major no no.
The blogging/social media world is a little like show biz in the pressure that “the show must go on” in order to keep growing your traffic. That was not my plan.
So much for the rules and plans.
Here’s the sanity wisdom I’m learning: Let God lead.
When you need to rest after a season of intense writing, take a break and trust God with the results. Because here’s the truth: the world will not notice if I am not blogging or posting on FB. But the real people in my world and the longevity of spiritual and creative work will suffer if I allow myself to burn out.
This doesn’t come easily. I wake in the morning with a list of “I should’s,” and the pressure starts muttering before my first sip of coffee. In this space of rest, I’m choosing to allow God to lead. Squelching the ough-to’s and should’s, I’m letting God refresh my soul.
This looks different than it’s looked in the past. On the outside, it seems much less spiritual. I open my Bible and my eyes skitter across the page, refusing to focus. I open my journal and my fingers do not want to curve around the pen. I open my blog and stare at the screen, mind completely blank.
And it’s okay.
At first, I started to freak out, thinking I was doing something wrong. And then I sensed God wanted me to rest, connecting with Him in different ways from my normal.
Writing a Christian book draws deeply from my personal study, prayer, and daily devotions. That’s the way Christian writing should be–if it doesn’t, it likely isn’t the outflow of what God is teaching. Authenticity in Christian writing is key, otherwise it’s easy to loose the heart of it.
So why am I writing about this?
First off–we all face seasons of intense work (physical, emotional, relational, professional…).
This lesson applies to our need to replenish and refresh. Recognize when you need to rest and let God show you how to rest in the season you are in. After the turkey is eaten and the kitchen is clean, I hope you will have an opportunity to put your feet up and enjoy your people this Thanksgiving!
Second reason I’m writing about this: I’m trying to understand this part of the writing/ministry process.
Friend, I’m also so very grateful for you–friends near and far who have taken time to read my work or listen to my speaking over the years. For every word of encouragement, blog post or newsletter read, event attended, or prayer offered, I’m thankful for every single friend alongside.
It is my hope and prayer that you routinely (when I’m writing…) find inspiration and encouragement to keep faith fresh every time you click into my online family room.
My grateful gift for you. Simply click on each image to download and print.
Add your print to a frame and wa-la you’ve got a creative gift for a friend. Or for yourself–a little visual reminder the choose gratitude goes a long way!
From Joy-Immune to Filled With Joy
A Guest Post from Dr. Michelle Bengtson
At a recent event I attended, a dear woman came up to speak with me. After a few minutes of chatting, she asked if she could pray for me. Never one to turn down prayer, I said, “Of course!”
After she prayed, she explained, “I often pray for others to experience joy, but I didn’t pray that for you because it’s obvious you already have His joy.”
She went on her way while her comments lingered in my mind. While she was accurate in her perception, I thought back to the days when they couldn’t have been further from the truth; days when the darkness of depression was all I could see and I feared that perhaps I was joy-immune.
Joy-immune?
Yes, that was a lie I began to believe, whispered to my soul from the enemy whom the Bible says roams around seeking whom he can devour. And devour he did, for many years. Until God with His sovereign hand pulled me from the enemy’s grasp.
I had grown up in a home with a mother who suffered from depression the entire time I lived at home—except we didn’t call it that. It was “just the way she was.” My heart ached for her, because she could have experienced the abundant life Jesus came to give if we had only recognized her suffering for what it was, and battled it head on.
After I grew up and left the home, I went into the field of neuropsychology and diagnosed and treated patients with depression for twenty years before I succumbed to its wrath myself. And when I did, the enemy made sure I felt the shame of it: the doctor who was supposed to have all the answers was now the patient. And worse yet, I tried all the treatment suggestions I had offered to my patients for 20 years, and they helped but they were insufficient to eradicate my own depression.
Now I was not only depressed, but I felt like a fraud. If the very suggestions I had offered to patients for years didn’t fix my own depression, how could I expect them to trust me as the expert in the future?
It was only when God showed me that I had to address the spiritual side of depression that the chains began to fall off.
John 10:10 declares, “The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.”
In the case of depression, the enemy works to steal our joy, kill our peace, and destroy our identity. He does so largely through our thoughts.
I remember how he worked on me.
Comparison is the thief of joy. It took very little to steal my joy when I looked at what others were doing and minimized my own efforts. The enemy simply had to whisper, “You’ll never be as good as her.”
My peace quickly evaporated when the enemy shamed me with my sin: “Do you really think God can forgive you after what you’ve done?”
I quickly began to question my identity when with my depression, the enemy shouted, “You’re worthless.”
But just like God limited the impact the enemy could have on Job’s life, God does the same for us even in the valley of depression. The second half of John 10:10 says that “I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full.”
God doesn’t allow the enemy, nor depression to determine our worth, dictate our destiny, or separate us from the love of God. He offered His son as a living sacrifice to prove His love and our value, and secure our eternal destiny.
Why I would listen to the lies of the enemy over a God who loved me so much He’d die for me, I’ll never be able to explain. But He loved me enough to break off the chains of depression and prove that because of Him, hope prevails.
Scripture says that God is no respecter of persons, meaning He doesn’t play favorites. So what He did for me, He longs to do for you as well. Will you give Him a chance?
Because of Him, #HopePrevails!
For a Free eBook on How to Help a Depressed Loved One, click here: http://drmichellebengtson.com/how-to-help-a-depressed-loved-one-ebook/
Dr. Michelle Bengtson (PhD, Nova Southeastern University) is an international speaker, and the author of best-selling “Hope Prevails: Insights From a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” and the newly released companion “Hope Prevails Bible Study.” She has been a neuropsychologist for more than twenty years. She is in private practice in Southlake, Texas where she evaluates, diagnoses, and treats children and adults with a variety of medical and mental health disorders. She knows pain and despair firsthand and combines her professional expertise and personal experience with her faith to address issues surrounding medical and mental disorders, both for those who suffer and for those who care for them. She offers sound practical tools, affirms worth, and encourages faith. Dr. Bengtson offers hope as a key to unlock joy and relief—even in the middle of the storm. She and her husband of 30 years have two teenage sons, and reside in the Dallas/Ft. Worth area. She blogs regularly on her own site: http://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com
For more hope, stay connected with me at:
To order Hope Prevails: http://drmichellebengtson.com/hope-prevails-book/
Website: http://www.DrMichelleBengtson.com
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DrMichelleBengtson
The Woman Behind My Utmost for His Highest
This month I’m grateful for talented friends who are guest posting as I finish up the manuscript for my debut book, Holy in the Moment. This week I’m finishing my book and traveling to California to speak at a Planting Roots Conference. We all need a bit of help from our friends from time to time, and I hope you’ll enjoy meeting a few amazing women who are using their gifts to spread hope and encouragement.
Today, I’m thrilled to feature an author interview with Michelle Ule. When I met Michelle last year, I was intrigued by the book she was writing, a biography of Mrs. Oswald Chambers. I’m not sure how many times I’ve read My Utmost for His Highest, but Chamber’s devotions have been part of my morning routine for years. And years. Though I read many other books, I continue to come back to Chamber’s devotional.
I hope you’ll enjoy meeting Michelle as she answers one question I asked a single question.
“What surprised you most when you wrote Mrs. Oswald Chambers?”
No one has asked me that–what a fun question.
No real biography of Biddy Chambers existed. That meant almost everything I learned about her while writing my biography Mrs. Oswald Chambers: The Woman Behind the World’s Bestselling Devotional, surprised me!
I knew basic facts about Biddy: married to Oswald Chambers, Lady Superintendent of his Bible Training College, extraordinary stenographer, mother of Oswald’s only child and compiler of his books. I knew Biddy traveled to Egypt during World War I with their toddler to work with Oswald at a YMCA’s “hut” north of Cairo for nearly four years.
The woman behind the devotional.
What I didn’t realize was how much we know about Oswald Chambers came to us through Biddy. (Her Oswald-given nickname; originally “Beloved Disciple,” it morphed into B.D. thence Biddy). It soon became clear that while the God-inspired words came from Oswald, the books and his fame were all the result of Biddy’s stenography skills. She “took down” with pencil and paper everything her husband taught during the seven years of their marriage.
When Oswald died unexpectedly of complications from appendicitis in 1917, Biddy was left a penniless 34-year-old widow with a four-year-old child in the middle of insect and disease-ridden Egypt during a world war.
The YMCA asked her to stay on and run the hut until the end of the war. She repatriated to a broken England with her headstrong daughter, then six-years-old, and few resources beyond her trunks full of notes.
From those notes, Biddy compiled 30 books—among them My Utmost for His Highest. With two exceptions, all the books with Oswald Chambers’ name listed as author were published after his death.
Indeed, Biddy crafted My Utmost for His Highest after combing through her notes, pulling selected paragraphs from all Oswald’s teachings into themes which comprised the 366 readings. It’s a masterful editing accomplishment—some of the daily readings are single paragraph excerpts from up to four different lectures woven together for a pointed devotional on a theme.
Even as I’ve examined and thought about how Biddy constructed My Utmost for His Highest, I’m still amazed at what she achieved. It took an encyclopedic knowledge of Oswald’s lectures, combined with an ear keen to the direction of the Holy Spirit to distill spiritual wisdom into 250 succinct words. She did it 366 times to make a devotional which has not been out of print in 90 years.
But it’s not just the accomplishment of “the books,” which surprised me most. Biddy’s example of living her utmost for God’s highest glory amazed me on countless occasions. She chose to follow God’s lead in situations I would not have been faith-filled enough to do myself.
Commitment to trust God.
For example, during the last 18 months of World War I, Biddy prepared faith-affirming pamphlets using her notes. The YMCA printed 10,000 copies each month and sent them to huts all over the world. So many soldiers wrote to thank her, Biddy knew Oswald’s dream of turning the notes into books was what she should do with her life.
When she returned to England in 1919, Biddy took her material to a publisher. He saw no future in Oswald’s lectures and sent her on her way.
Meanwhile, friends offered her a position at a Bible college for female missionaries, the same job she worked before the war at the Bible Training College. Ridgelands would have given Biddy and her daughter a place to live, surrounded by people who loved them, and an important God-honoring task.
But, she felt called to turn Oswald’s notes into books. Should she take the Bible School job and work the books on the side? Or, live in poverty to create the books and pass up the Bible school’s security?
She chose the books and poverty instead of security.
I doubt I would have made that choice.
Yet, by walking close enough to the Lord to recognize His calling on her life, Biddy Chambers compiled a devotional that has encouraged believers since 1927. It was smuggled into POW camps during World War II. Brother Andrew took translations behind the Iron Curtain for decades.
Biggest surprise?
What surprised me the most? Ultimately that so few people knew the stories behind this remarkable woman. Biddy Chambers really did live her utmost to God’s highest glory—in far more ways than what I’ve written here.
She’s been an inspiration to me, a catalyst for my faith and an example for me to emulate. I’m so thankful I got to explore and then write about Biddy Chambers’ life in Mrs. Oswald Chambers.
Here’s a few of my favorite quotes from Oswald Chambers:
“Prayer is the greater work.”
“Prayers change me and I change things.”
“God never gives us discernment to criticize, but to pray.”
“Let God set your words on fire for His glory.”
“The worst sinner can never come to the bottom of God’s love.”
Michelle Ule is the author of Mrs. Oswald Chambers and other published works. You can learn more about her and read her blog posts about Oswald and Biddy Chambers at www. Michelleule.com.
4 Ways to Bless Others When You’re Facing a Trial
A guest post by Sarah Forgrave
When someone goes through a hard time, most of our attention is focused on how to bless and help the person through her trial. But the reality is, when you’re the one facing hard times, it can be difficult to receive help.
You may feel like you’re constantly draining other people’s resources and you have nothing to give back. You may feel helpless and needy with no outlet to express your gratitude.
Having been through chronic health issues myself—and walked with my sister through a heart transplant—I’ve experienced those moments of quiet when you twiddle your thumbs and feel like you have nothing to offer to those around you.
Finding opportunities to bless others makes a difference.
But what if your time of trial could be an opportunity to bless others? It might be in a different way than during the “normal” seasons of life, but perhaps God could use you to minister to someone right where you are.
Whether your trial is health-related or something else entirely, let these ideas prompt you to bless someone near you today.
4 Ways to Bless Others When You are Facing a Trial
Share God’s love through a smile.
I know this sounds elementary, but how many people expect a smile from someone who’s going through a hard time? Now, certainly don’t be fake or phony if you’re not feeling it. But if you’ve found something to be grateful for in the midst of your trial, show that to others through your facial expression.
Especially in the medical field, care workers are surrounded by depressed, angry people all the time. What if you demonstrated something different? What if your peaceful expression could point the way to God’s love in a way those workers haven’t seen?
Ask others how they’re doing and listen.
People may be hyper-focused on how you’re doing and rightfully so. Be grateful for their interest and express where you’re at with authenticity. But once you’ve answered their questions, be sure to ask how they’re doing. Their trials may be far smaller than yours, but there are likely equal amounts of joy and concern. Show them you care by asking and listening.
Pray for the concerns of others.
Now that you’ve listened to the needs of someone else, use any downtime as an opportunity to lift him or her in prayer. You might even want to start a prayer journal to track the prayer needs and praises as they arise.
When you watch TV or cross paths with others, pay attention to the needs you see and lift them up to your heavenly Father, just as so many are doing for you. What a beautiful way to pass the blessing along.
Send notes of encouragement.
If you’re facing health challenges and are confined to a bed or chair, this is a wonderful chance to write encouraging notes to others. You might express gratitude for something they’ve done to help you in your trial, or you might encourage them with Bible verses that have recently helped you.
If you’re not a writer, consider drawing or coloring a picture that could bring someone else joy. When my mom recently had knee replacement surgery, I sent her colored pencils and coloring cards to pass the time during her recovery. She spent many hours coloring those cards and sent them with thank-you notes to those who had delivered a meal or helped in some other way.
The cards became not only an outlet for her to relieve stress, but they became a blessing to those who received them.
No matter what trial you’re facing, I pray you’ll find hope in Christ. As He fills you with His peace, let it flow into the lives of others. You may feel stretched to your limit, but you can be a blessing, even on your hardest days.
When you go through difficult times, what’s one way you can be a blessing? What is one way someone blessed or encouraged you? Love to have you leave a comment and share your thoughts. Many thanks to my friend Sarah for guest posting. You can learn more about Sarah below. If this topic is helpful for you, be sure to check out Sarah’s new book:.
Prayers for Hope and Healing: Seeking God’s Strength as You Face Health Challenges
Amid Pain and Weakness…There is HOPE
In my book, Prayers for Hope and Healing, I offer prayers and devotions for those facing health struggles. The book covers over forty different emotions and scenarios a medical patient might face. Among them are boredom and loneliness.
Serious or chronic medical issues bring a litany of painful and confusing feelings that only someone else who’s been in a similar situation could possibly understand.
No matter the road ahead, you don’t have to face it alone. Even in the depths of your worst emotional and physical pain, God is right there beside you, offering His comfort, love, and peace.
As you read these heartfelt prayers and devotions, let this book be your manual to help navigate the difficult set of emotions that come with health issues. Read it front to back or go directly to the devotion addressing how you feel at any given moment…when you need it the most.
Above all, know that you are never, ever alone.
About Sarah:
Sarah Forgrave is an author and wellness coach who loves inspiring others toward their full potential. In addition to her book, Prayers for Hope and Healing (Harvest House, October 2017), her writing credits include contributions to The Gift of Friendship, Guideposts’ A Cup of Christmas Cheer, and the webzine Ungrind. When she’s not writing or teaching, she loves to shop at Trader Joe’s or spend time with her husband and two children in their Midwest home. Visit Sarah at www.sarahforgrave.com, or at the following sites:
Facebook: www.facebook.com/AuthorSarahForgrave
Pinterest: www.pinterest.com/SarahForgrave
Instagram: www.instagram.com/SarahForgrave_Author
Twitter: www.twitter.com/SarahForgrave
5 Verses to Pray in the Storm: Praying for Texas and Florida
To our friends in Texas who are recovering from Hurricane Harvey and our friends preparing for Hurricane Irma– we are praying for you. May these verses to strengthen and encourage all who are facing the storms of life.
As I hear from family and friends in the path of storms, my heart is heavy as I pray for our Texas and Florida folks. May God protect and provide in every need.
[tweetthis twitter_handles=”#Prayer”]Texas and Florida: we are praying for you in the storm. Recovering or preparing you are on our hearts.[/tweetthis]
Five Smart Things to Pray for Your Kids This School-Year
This morning I check my Facebook feed and love seeing all the first-day-of school pictures. Now that my kids are scattered all over, it’s easy to miss the excitement and anticipation of a new school year. Once kids are in college and grad school, they don’t send mom first-day-of-school pics.
If yours do, you are a shoe-in for Mom-Of-The-Year for accomplishing the miraculous!
Though my kids aren’t sporting new shoes and a fresh back pack today, I still pray for them as they begin a new semester. In the spirit of looking back, here are five smart things I prayed for my kids during the middle and high school years.
God’s word is wisdom for any age, so join me in praying these verses for your own children, or maybe even for yourself! You may not have considered these verses for parenting, but they cover important areas of growth and faith we all want for our kids.
Pray for God-Confidence
For You are my hope; O Lord GOD, You are my confidence from my youth.–Psalm 71:5
Let’s pray that kids will trust God and put their confidence in Him. Just think of the mental/spiritual/emotion angst they can save if they have a confident trust in God.
As a parent, it’s easy to get overly focused on the importance of building self-confidence in our kids. I am not implying that self-confidence is unnecessary, but developing God-confidence will bring them through many challenges that self-confidence can’t touch. In addition to praying for God-confidence for my kids, I am asking God to give me wisdom and diligence to encourage them with both my words and my example.
Pray for God-Motivated Work
Pray that our kids develop God-focused motivation in their work, as well as develop strong work habits. This verse is talking about putting your heart into what you do, seeking to honor God.
While we’re at it, let’s pray our kids develop the self-discipline to do the things they don’t always want to do–homework, room cleaning, dish washing, more homework–without whining and complaining. Hmm. . . I better pray this for me as well!
Pray Kids Learn Wisdom From Mistakes
As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his foolishness.–Proverbs 26:11
You may not be familiar with this little gem, tucked away in Proverbs 26. Though rather graphic in imagery, (kid’s like that, right?) this wise saying refers to our tendency to keep repeating the same foolishness again and again. In other words, we can be slow to learn from our mistakes.
Pray that God would bless our children with the desire and the wisdom to learn from their mistakes and foolishness. Self-awareness of their own folly is far more effective than the lecturing or nagging of a parent.
This was a great prayer for the year my 12-year-old decided it would be cool to do push-ups in the middle of a four lane road while waiting for the bus on the first day of school. What can I say. . . sixth grade is just a nutty time!
Pray for Wise Words
There is one who speaks rashly like the thrusts of a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.–Proverbs 12:18
This one is pretty simple: pray that our kids would develop wisdom and thoughtfulness in their speech. Middle and high school years can be filled with emotional drama that often stems from thoughtless or hurtful words.
Taking this concept one step further, pray that our kids would go the extra mile to speak words of encouragement to others.
[tweetthis hidden_hashtags=”#backtoschool, #prayingmom”]5 smart things to pray for your kids this school year.[/tweetthis]
Pray for Self-Control
Who doesn’t struggle with self-control at times? I’ll get in line first on this one. Let’s pray our children develop Spirit-given self-control, which is very handy character trait for sure!
What are a few of your best Smart-Mom prayers for your kids this year?
Mom, It’s Okay Cry When You Leave Your Child Leaves Home
“Mom, have you seen my stethoscope?” my daughter asks from her bedroom filled with boxes and bins. Packing, she is almost ready to go back to college. As a second year nursing student, her stethoscope just arrived yesterday. Just in time to pack for school.
I can’t help but think how much difference a year makes for both moms and kids.
Summer dwindles to it’s last days of freedom, but she’s excited to return to college, a place that’s become a second home. I peek into her room, tripping over a box. Looking around, I remember how I felt this time last year when my baby was leaving the nest for the first time.
You Will Have Lots of Emotions When Your Child Leaves Home
Whether your student is your first, last, or in-between, leaving for college is an emotional time. Last year I wrote the following post, which has turned out to be one of the most popular posts on my blog. I decided to re-post this since is was such an encouragement to so many parents.
As I hug and kiss my girl goodbye, my heart is a mix of happy and sad. Sad that she’s leaving, but happy that she’s learning and growing.
This past year, I’ve experienced what my head knew but my heart didn’t: Leaving for college isn’t the end of the world.
It just feels like it at times, particularly freshman year.
Truth is, my girl had a good year and I did too. She loves college. I’m thankful she’s made a lot of good decisions and has matured in lovely ways. I’m proud of her and grateful God has protected and kept her heart focused.
I hope you’ll enjoy this post I wrote last year when the last child left for the first time.
9 Reasons Why it’s Okay to Cry When Your Child Leaves Home
To my children scattered far and wide, here’s a look at why it’s hard to say goodbye when you leave home.
We don’t want to let go, but we will.
Will tears flow? Not sure, but if today is any indication, there will probably be a few.
Or a lot.
Taking your child to college is a emotional moment for parents, and it’s okay to shed those tears.
Here a Reasons Why Mom’s Cry When Our Child Leaves Home
Even though you are taller than we are now, it’s hard to believe you’ve grown up so fast. Taking you to college is stepping into that reality. No longer is “going to college” some vague mist of an idea far off in the future. The future is now. We’ve known your move in date for months, but what the head knows doesn’t always translate to the heart.
The house will feel different now. The sounds, activities, and energy will change. At first, we’ll balk at the empty echo in the house, much like how sound changes when you take a carpet out of a room. For a little while, that hollow sound will have a feeling that sits uneasy on our hearts. We won’t like the empty place at the table and the unused smell in your room. We will adjust and life is still very good, but it will take some time let go.
This is the beginning of a new season that will catapult you into your own life as an adult. In just a short time home will be a place you visit rather than live. That’s a hard thought for a mom to get used to. And dads.
You won’t be part of our daily life anymore. Phone calls are good, and social media is nice, but it isn’t the same as sharing life face to face. The main part of your life won’t include our daily presence. This is as it should be, but it’s still an emotional hurdle to leap.
We love you and will miss your beautiful smile and all the special things that make you, you. You are a joy in our lives and in some ways, we’ve come to depend on you, comfortable in our roll as moms. Though we have our own lives, mom has become both a roll and an identity. As we open our hearts to let you go, we have some new growing to do ourselves.
We are proud of you. Some of these tears are excitement for the new friends and experiences you will have. The new things you’ll learn. We will watch from afar as you gain confidence and knowledge as you prepare for your future. You’ll l come home for Christmas, exhausted from exams. As you unload a car full of dirty laundry, you will walk in the house with a new maturity.
We know we won’t be there on the days when you’re lonely or discouraged. We know you will learn to navigate problems and challenges, but sometimes this will be a struggle. This is a necessary part of growing up, but we don’t want you to have to face the hard days on your own. We want to be there to encourage you and cheer you on.
We’ll have to get used to going to sleep without knowing you’re safely tucked in your bed at home. We’re moms and we’ve mastered the art of worrying. For so long, we’ve slept lightly, or stayed awake until you’re home.
For parents, leaving for college feels like an ending before it feels like a beginning. We know you’re ready, but we’re not quite sure how to let you go. We’ll have to figure that out step by step over the next few months.
We have survived the teen years and are now launching young adults. We will adjust, and it won’t be as hard as it feels at this moment. But these are a few of the reasons mom’s shed a few tears when we leave our kids at college.
Oh, and one more thing what can make a parent cry when kids head to college–the college tuition bill!
What makes you emotional when your kid’s leave?
This post is inspired by my life situation and this post from Flown and Grown.
Other posts on kid’s growing up and leaving home:
Powerful Truth Gives Direction For Our Children
Letting Them Go: Faith Prayers For Our Children
Getting Ready For College: Don’t Let Worries Rob You of Joy
The Truth That Sets Us Free From Trying to Get-It-All-Together
You will know the truth and the truth will set you free--maybe you’ve read these words in your Bible.
Maybe you’ve heard them in a sermon.
Read about them in a devotion.
Today I’m chatting about how knowing Christ as our way, our truth, and our life sets us free from the pressure to get it all together. Hope you enjoy a different format today. Below, you can find a transcript of the video if you’d prefer to read.
More posts in this series:
If I Get it All Together, Where Will I Put It?
If I Get it All Together, How Much is Enough?
If I Get it All Together, How Long Do I Have to Keep it Up?
If I Get it All Together, What if I Trip Over It?
If I Get it All Together, What if I Mess it Up?
Video Transcription:
Do you ever worry about getting it all together? You know, you’ve got your life going in five thousand directions and your to-do list is as long as a roll of toilet paper. You know what I’m saying, right?! Don’t tell me that I’m the only one who has a crazy schedule like that. And maybe you’re like me… You say yes to too many things, and all of the sudden, all of the good things that you’re doing kind of spiral out of control, and you’re saying to yourself, “If I could just get it all together!”.
Anybody with me on that?
Well, I’ve been thinking very deeply about all of this and I’ve come to some pretty important conclusions and here’s one…
Strap your seatbelts on because this is good! If I get it all together, where am I going to put it? Do you ever think about that? Seriously, and if I get it all together and I figure out where I’m going to put it, how long do I have to keep it up? Is this something that is a once and for all shot of getting it together or is it something that I’ve got to do every single day, all day?
And what about when the kids need to eat dinner, do I still have to have it together? See, these are very important questions that we all need to know.
And if I get it all together, and somehow I manage to keep it all together, how long do I have to keep it up?
And what if I trip over it? I mean, that could be really bad, right?
So, I don’t know about you friends, but I have spent way too much of my life stressing and worrying about getting it all together. And, in reality how many of us know what “it” is? Can anybody tell me what this “it” is that we need to get together? You know, I know that “it” can be a pronoun or a noun, but you know what? I’m really not interested in a grammar lesson. I’m trying to get by here, right? And I think that you are too.
So, how do we get it all together in a way that enables us to walk in freedom? I think that God’s Word has some really wonderful truths that can help us with this challenging but realistic issue that we all face. You know, sometimes I think I need to stop trying to get it together and remember that I have a God who promises to put it together in my life.
Let me share with you a verse that has been very meaningful to me. And that is Thessalonians 5:23. I’m going to read it to you in the Message because this version makes a lot of sense to me. It’s one that kind of hits home. I study in other versions but sometimes just to relate, I like the Message. And this is what it says. “May God himself, the God who makes everything holy and whole put you together– spirit, soul, and body and keep you fit for the coming of our Master, Jesus Christ. The One who called you is completely dependable. If he said it, he’ll do it!”
I don’t know about you, but when I read that phrase, “the God who makes everything holy and whole, (making himself) put you together”, that little place in me that gets so stressed out trying to get it all together, took a big sigh of relief. It was a light bulb moment, really. Realizing, Wow! I can stop trying so hard because God promises to do the very thing that I’m trying to do and He’ll do it so much better. He will put me together spirit, soul and body.
Now, this reminds me of a truth that Jesus said in the Gospel of John. In John 8:32, he says, “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free.” As long as the truth that I am building my life around and organizing my life around, is this nebulous concept of trying to get it together, which is really a performance-based way of living… meeting the standards of the world, seeking the approval of others, trying to be successful… all of those kinds of things and when we realize that we’re organizing our life around something that’s not true.
God never intended for us to get ourselves together. He wants us to trust Him and rely on Him to put us together. So, this John verse, “And you shall know the truth…”, right before that, Jesus is talking about when you abide in my Word, then you’ll be my disciples, and you will know the truth and the truth will set you free.
We don’t want to just take that verse by itself. When we take the time to abide in the Word, something wonderful happens, and that’s what He is talking about in John 8:32. What does it mean to abide?
Well, abide means to remain, to settle into. I kind of like to think of it like living in a house. If you buy a house and you just camp out on the front porch, you’re not really living there. But if you move everything in and settle in and make it your home, and really get comfortable there and that’s where you live your life from, now that is abiding.
Are we just running in to God’s Word like a drive thru window at McDonalds to get our happy meal to make our day good, or are we abiding in His Word?
Are we moving in and really settling in to what it says and embracing that as our truth?
Well, Jesus tells us that when we abide in His Word that we are His disciples. We’re His followers, His learners and that we will know the truth.
Friends, if we never take the time to really engage with God’s Word in a meaningful way we won’t know the truth that sets us free.
I’m not talking about you have your quiet time every single day and you read your Bible all the way through in a year. It’s not about following rules. I’m talking about relationship and where your heart is.
When we really engage with God’s Word, something wonderful happens. Like I said before, we will know the truth. Now that is a Greek word called ginosko. I love this word.
Knowing is about perceiving what’s true, knowing what’s true, and there is power in knowing what’s true. So we know the truth and that knowledge sets us free. Now, what does that knowledge set us free from? Well friends, one of the things that knowledge sets us free from is that trying to get it together life. That trying to get it all down perfectly, trying to be super successful and trying to have others approve of us, trying to be that perfect Mom and that perfect wife, that perfect professional.
When we abide in Christ’s Word and rest in Him, the truth (both the person and the word) sets us free and it sets us free. In Christ, we are to know the reality of what it is that we’re living for and the resource and source that we have in Christ to live from, and this is what sets us free.
Free from that trying to get it together life, free from habitual patterns of sin, the things that trip us up and hold us back in life. It also sets us free from the pressure of the flesh, that drive to get it all together to do it all perfectly, to impress others… you know what I’m saying.
It is a wonderful thing when we discover the truth of Christ’s Word and discover the power of His presence within us, and we learn to rest in that and trust that God will put us together… body, soul and spirit, and enable us to keep it together.
So, I don’t know about you but I am going to hang up my sign and just give it a rest on this get it together life. I’m going to trust the Lord more to show me the truth each day, to live in that truth, and let that truth set me free from the things that hold me back.
Many thanks to these friends for help with this video:
Videographer: Laura Wenzel
Transcriptionist: Barb Moses
