Unexpected Blessings of Discouragement
Discovering God’s best when things don’t turn out like you plan.
I love the first few weeks of January, when the year is new and the calendar is not yet filled with plans and commitments.
I have taken some time to notice and embrace the lessons, challenges, and blessings of this past year. In the pausing, I recognize the unexpected blessing of discouragement. Blessings I didn’t see coming.
It has been a journey I didn’t plan to travel, but I am better for it. It has been a time of discovering God’s best even though things didn’t always turn out like I planned.
Trace your personal trends over a year.
Long ago, a mentor taught me the importance of being mindful of what God has taught and carrying those lessons into the New Year with intentionality. Reviewing the year is a powerful way to maximize spiritual growth.
Taking time to trace my personal trends last year, I saw that discouragement was an unwelcome intruder more often than I realized.
- Doing more didn’t always result in tangible results.
- Many days it felt like running in place rather than reaching my goals.
Maybe you’ve had some goals that didn’t work out like you planned.
It’s not fun, it?
When we work hard but can’t measure progress, it is all too easy to give place to the “Not Enough” voices that steal our confidence and derail our motives.
God often uses our struggles to reveal deep places of the heart, the root causes of those struggles.
It is a journey of a different kind that uncovers blessings we may not recognize at first glance.
An inner journey that takes time.
Through a season of soul work, God led me on a journey that is different from the destination I planned. My vision included worthy goals such as weight loss, consistent strength training at the gym, increasing productivity, and growing my business to a specific level.
My plan was about doing more. God’s plan was about being more. . .
- pure-hearted in my motives
- free from the approval of others
- content to receive what God gives
- humble to let go of expectations
- dependent on Jesus
- emotionally honest with myself
- trustworthy as a servant of Christ
- willing to wait for God
Freeing us from the hidden dynamics that drive us is an unexpected blessing of discouragement.
Before freedom can come, God helps us become more self-aware of the subtle pressures beneath the surface. God both heals our hearts and prepares us for new things coming in this deep work of the heart.
Truly, laying aside the old self and learning to live out of our new self (Ephesians 4:23-24) is a layered journey with the Lord.
It is a process over time rather than a destination we make in a single trip.
Seeking the approval of others is one of those old ways of living that easily barges in and overshadows my good intentions of serving God with a pure heart. Searching for worth and value from my work is another old way of living that God is healing.
Don’t rush the journey.
The persistent struggle between flesh and spirit is a daily part of the Christian life.
Holy moments are for recognizing when our insecurities drive our actions.
- So often we want to rush to the result without going through the experience.
- We want the growth but prefer to bypass the instruction.
- We desire purity but balk at the refiner’s fire.
Holy moments happen as we admit to ourselves that we really cannot fix what is broken, despite our best efforts.
Embrace the struggle.
God meets us in these tender places of honesty; the way things really are at this time. We muster courage to name our reality accurately.
A difficult and emotional process, God’s healing work is sometimes like the pain of a loving parent removing a splinter from a child’s hand.
We don’t want to hold still, snatching our hearts away in fear of pain. Despite the discomfort of the process, the result heals pain caused by something that’s not supposed to be there in the first place. Lies God never intended to lodge within us.
Healing can be a beautiful, unexpected blessing hidden in discouragement.
Ruth Haley Barton recognizes that “the demands of long-term leadership usually push us to a place where our patterns are clearly revealed” (Strengthening the Soul of Your Leadership, 50). It is a journey of becoming “safe enough with God and ourselves to say, Yes, this is who I am. We are able to surrender who we are–our limitations, our clinging and grasping and possessiveness, our selfishness and our fear. This is not a yes that says, I will remain the same.”
This is a yes that recognizes our soul struggle and says to God, “Whatever it is that most needs to be done in my life, you will have to do.”
This just might be both the most honest and most productive prayer we can pray.
Wandering in the wilderness of the many ways we try to fix ourselves, we stay stuck even though we are busy. Circling the same struggles, we wear our souls thin in the relentless pursuit to get somewhere but seeming to arrive nowhere.
These are the paths that lead to the unexpected blessing of embracing our limits.
Can you relate? Maybe you have traveled similar trails that lead to sacred pathways of transformation.
When overwhelm is a gift.
I am discovering that there are times when the too-much of overwhelm can be a gift. The honest recognition of our limits and vulnerabilities exposes the deeper questions beneath the surface of our awareness. Becoming aware of our condition is another unexpected blessing.
Barton continues by pointing out how we “try really hard to do something about what we are now seeing.” With the razor-sharp clarity of describing her own journey, she shares the point is not to fix ourselves, but to finally “let go of old patterns that no longer serve us…the adaptive behaviors” that get in the way of the “life of love and trust and being led by God that our hearts long for. To give ourselves to this process, we must trust that our true self is hidden with Christ in God, to be revealed as God sees that we are ready to live into it (53).”
God’s timing vs. our plans.
These are the soul journeys that take us deeper, farther, higher, and wider as we are ready.
- They come on God’s timetable, often on the heels of our greatest wins.
- They come at inconvenient times but arrive when we need them most.
- This journey doesn’t take us to the lesser places we thought we needed to go in order to prove our worth, to feel safe, or be successful.
And these are the places where in the loving care of God we grow deeper and move forward in ways we didn’t know we needed before the journey began.
Maybe the most powerful blessing of discouragement comes when God takes us where we most need to go.
About those goals . . .
On January days of making resolutions and planning for a new year, I understand in a fresh way that my goals are not necessarily God’s goals. Humility is another unexpected gift of discouragement.
Some prayers don’t receive the answers we hoped for. We sometimes misperceive God’s yes as no, His not now as not ever. To share a phrase from my beautiful friend Sarah McKinney, sometimes flourishing feels like failing.
God will attend to our soul even at the expense of our best-laid plans.
His ways are higher and truer, and they are just what we need. This is the unexpected beauty of brokenness that leads to holiness, wholeness and grace.
Yes, in so many ways, by God’s grace my soul traveled miles from where I started last year.
This year my goals are different in kind.
They are desires of
- being more than doing
- resting in work rather than working to rest
- faith that banishes fear of failure
- freedom before expectation
- want to over should do
- humility instead of the backwards pride of discouragement
- impartation over information
Because of the unexpected blessings of discouragement, I am ready for something new.
Something fresh, holy and whole.
Something that I cannot yet see, but sense simmering within.
These are the unexpected blessings my soul longs for with this prayer, “Whatever it is that most needs to be done in my life, You will have to do. Make Your desires my desires. And I’ll trust You to take me where You want to go.”
Amen.
Let it be so.
What unexpected blessings have you received lately?
Hope to Light the Dark this Christmas
Everything looks different in the glitter of Christmas lights.
The lights of Christmas spark hope in my heart.
Tucked away in each of our hearts is longing for the light of Christ, experiencing the gifts of hope, peace, and joy. Created to shine His light, we ache with frustration as we find ourselves jammed tight in an over-crowded schedule of commitments and expectations, especially this time of year.
Light shines joy and love throughout the Christmas season, but it is also the power of God at work overcoming the darkness. Has the pace of life threatened to eclipse the true light of Christmas, as worshipping the Christ-child becomes one of many loved traditions of the season?
Honestly, some days it’s a struggle to make time for the holy in this blessed holiday.
In the beginning, before time began to tick, before land separated seas, and before love lived in the hearts of men, the Word was with God.
And the Word was God.
He was in the beginning with God. All things came into being through Him, and apart from Him nothing came into being that has come into being. —John 1:3 NASB
Good news breaks the chaotic confusion of darkness with words that radiate life-giving power and presence of Christ.
In him was life and the life was the light of men. —John 1:4 NASB
Life and light in this sacred equation go together. The beginning of life and the beginning of light. And the world have never been the same. The light of men, Christ is the light that breaks the power of death.
Jesus is life, the eternal life. And He is the life-giving light in the darkness of this lost and hurting world. The word life holds so more than the facts of biology. This God-life offers us the blessing to enjoy true life that comes from Christ. It’s energetic, fresh, and strong, bringing the vitality of God into the way we live and act. It is the essence of His very life.
During Christmas, difficulty and hardship often mingle side-by-side with celebration. Truly, darkness comes in a variety of forms. When storms rage, we are caught off guard when the lights go out. We loose our bearings.
Disoriented, we grope and grasp, trying to find our way. It’s all too easy to depend on ourselves to light the way–the how’s and the why’s of trying to somehow survive the confusion of the dark.
Darkness blankets hope with the heavy weight of difficult days. Hurting relationships, depleted finances, lost dreams, or broken hearts, life has no shortage of situations weary us under the weight.
Deep in the dark, we strain to see the choice to make or which way to walk. Reaching into our thoughts and emotions, shadows of anxiety, depression, grief, bitterness, or fear reveal our need for the light of hope.
On our dark days, whatever the cause, we long for the light. Difficult times can be especially hard at Christmas. Echoes from ages past, the prophesy becomes reality the blessed night Christ was born.
The people who walk in darkness
Will see a great light;
Those who live in a dark land,
The light will shine on them. —Isaiah 9:2 NASB
The beautiful truth about light is the darkness cannot overcome it. The darkness can never be so deep that the light of a single candle cannot push back the darkness. And there is no deed too dark that the purifying light of Christ cannot bring the saving grace of forgiveness.
Christmas beckons with the shimmer of true joy–the Light that ushers God’s best into our worst.
Turn out the lights and sit in the light of a candle or the twinkle of your Christmas tree. Reflect on these holy words, “In Him was life, and the life was the Light of men.”
In what way do you need to experience the life and light of Christ this Christmas?
Could you trust Christ light up a dark situation in your life today?
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Enjoy the Best of Christmas from Ginger
A curated collection of Christmas content from award-winning author and blogger, Ginger Harrington. Take the Christmas Worship Challenge, read inspiring devotions, download free gifts, gather ideas for family fun, make a special gift, and chuckle with Ginger’s Christmas humor. Read the story of Ginger’s Christmas miracle in a free chapter from her book, Holy in the Moment. Enjoy the best of Christmas that you’ll want to come back to year after year!
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Read the story of a Christmas miracle I experienced in the first chapter of my award-winning book, Holy in the Moment. You’ll read a poignant story from one challenging Christmas in my life at the end of the first chapter. Read the story of what happened here. Give the gift of holy this Christmas–Holy in the Moment makes a wonderful gift to encourage faith in a practical way. Learn more about the book here.
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Overcoming the Struggles of Life
I’m excited to share a guest post from my friend Misty Phillip! I know you’ll be able to relate as she shares a story about overcoming a recent struggle. At the end of this post you’ll find an engaging FB Live interview with...
Can Waiting for God Be a Good Thing?
Is it possible that God has unexpected benefits hidden in times of waiting? Consider 10 unexpected benefits of waiting for God. Productivity feels like progress and waiting feels like wasting time or doing nothing. Maybe that’s why...
How to Cope With Worry, Fear, and Anxiety
by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Don’t miss the Live Interview with Michelle at the end of this post.
As long as I live, I will never forget the day I heard the words “I hate to tell you this, but you need to get your affairs in order.”
My husband and I were parents to a precious little toddler boy. We still considered ourselves honeymooners. We had the rest of our lives ahead of us—or so we thought.
And now we had a doctor telling us the worst thing imaginable…that my husband was expected to die of cancer, and that we might as well prepare for the inevitable.
Learning to handle fear, worry, and anxiety is a process.
I’d like to tell you that we were all full of faith that never doubted or wavered, or that we never shed an anxious tear. But that might just as well be Hollywood. From the moment we left that doctor’s office, worries, fears, and anxieties pervaded almost every waking thought I had.
“What if treatment doesn’t work?”
“What if my husband dies?”
“What if I become a widow?”
“What if my son has to grow up without a father?”
“What if I can no longer afford our home, or our vehicles, or daycare?”
And on, and on, and on my mind went. There was seemingly no end to my worries and concerns.
I have learned both about my patients in my private practice, and about myself, that when we start going down the “What if…?” path, it’s a slippery slope into worry, fear, and anxiety. I didn’t do a very good job guarding my heart against such toxic emotions back then, but I’ve learned a great deal in the intervening years.
For example, I’ve learned that our emotions are the outward manifestation of the thoughts we believe. So if we believe that God has left us, or that everything is up to us, or that God can’t be trusted, or that the future is uncertain, then we’ll experience worry, fear, and anxiety.
My husband underwent treatment, and thankfully, his doctor’s predictions did not have the final word. But much to our dismay, approximately 15 years after his original diagnosis, he received another diagnosis of cancer, this time a “secondary cancer,” meaning that it was the result of the chemotherapy treatments he had taken for the first cancer diagnosis.
This time, however, I was in a much different place. God had used the intervening 15 years to teach me about the power of our thoughts and the power of our words.
The power of truth in dealing with fear, worry, and anxiety.
Proverbs 23:7 teaches, “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he.”
2 Timothy 1:7 teaches, “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”
In those intervening years, I learned the importance of being very careful what thoughts I let into my mind. I learned to pay attention to where those thoughts came from, and to check to see if they lined up with God’s word or not.
Having been a mental health practitioner for decades, I knew that worry, fear, and anxiety were considered the common cold of mental illness. Over 264 million people are diagnosed with anxiety disorders worldwide, and that’s just those who seek out medical care. That doesn’t account for those who don’t seek medical attention or deal with the less severe every day worries and concerns. But the truth is, as a society, we’ve come to accept worry, fear, and anxiety just like we accept the common cold…as something that is inevitable.
Peace is God’s antidote for anxiety.
The problem is, that’s not what God says. Hundreds of times in the Bible, God tells us “Do not fear,” “Do not worry for tomorrow,” and “Be anxious for nothing.” You see, worry, fear, and anxiety is not our portion. Peace is.
Jesus said, “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not our heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid” (John 14:27).
As the antidote to worry, fear, and anxiety, Jesus offered His peace. But the enemy of our soul would love nothing more than to tangle us up in his web of worry, fear, and anxiety to choke all peace out of our hearts and minds. But God gave us the weapons of power, love, and a sound mind to fight back against worry, fear, and anxiety to reclaim the peace He promised.
Part of the power and sound mind entailed being very careful what I spoke.
Proverbs 18:21 teaches, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue…”
It’s very easy to fall into a habit of saying things like “I’m just afraid that…” or “I’m worried about…” and not realize the power we give our words.
In those intervening years, I had to learn to be very intentional about the things I allowed myself to think, and the words I not only spoke, but also those I received from others. I also learned that part of having a sound mind required that I intentionally choose my focus, which often meant focusing on the truth rather than the facts. Facts can be a slippery slope to worry, fear, and anxiety, but God’s truth will lead to peace.
For example, the facts were that my husband was given a diagnosis of cancer, but the truth was that God is still our healer, and even if He didn’t heal my husband this side of heaven, He would provide for us. The facts might be that the bank balance is zero, but the truth is that God cares for you and will provide for you more than the birds of the air and the flowers of the field.
The next time you find yourself battling worry, fear, or anxiety, use the power of God’s word, the perfect love that casts out fear, and the sound mind that God has given you to fight back against that spirit of fear, and reclaim that peace God promises.
[tweetthis]Because of Christ, #PeacePrevails! @Dr.MichelleBengtson via @GingHarrington[/tweetthis]
About Dr. Michelle Bengtson
Dr. Bengtson studied neuroscience and is board certified in clinical neuropsychology. She established her own clinical practice in the Dallas area. From her professional and personal life, she recognized a deep lack of understanding of the call to “renew our minds” and the transformational effects a robust understanding of this has on our physical and mental health and outlook.
Dr. Bengtson lives to foster regeneration and renew life in her listeners. She recognizes brokenness in her life and others’ and offers steps we can take as we walk with Christ through the thin places.
About Dr. Michelle Bengston’s books
Dr. Bengtson authored the award winning “Hope Prevails: Insights from a Doctor’s Personal Journey Through Depression” and its award winning companion “Hope Prevails Bible Study.” Her third book, “Breaking Anxiety’s Grip: How to Reclaim the Peace God Promises” will be available in September 2019 (Revell). She blogs at DrMichelleB.com and maintains a podcast on iTunes called Your Hope Filled Perspective with Dr. Michelle Bengtson. She is a frequent guest on Fox News Radio and speaks at conferences and churches internationally. For more, find her at www.DrMichelleBengtson.com
Ginger’s Facebook Live Interview with Dr. Bengtson
We had an amazing live interview with Dr. Michelle Bengtson on Thursday, September 18 at 5 pm EST. Click here to watch the interview.
Read more posts from Michelle and Ginger teaming up:
One Simple Way to Settle Your Soul
Ginger shares at DrMichelleBengtson.com.
From Joy Immune to Filled with Joy
Dr. Bengtson’s at GingerHarrington.com
Experience Freedom from Anxiety, Perfectionism, Insecurity, and more.
You’re invited to join the Holy in the Moment community, a fun and interactive private group on Facebook. We’ve just started a new read-along, so this is the perfect time to jump in! Sign up here or request to join here.
How Do You Fight Fear?
Overcoming fear doesn’t come easy. I often feel like I’m groping for a solution to fear, longing for an easy remedy to ease the tension. Worry seems to be a natural reflex for me. I just want to fix the cause of my fear and feel better. How about you? How do you fight fear?
Psalmist and king, David records his struggles in many of the Psalms. His words inspire courage even though he experienced deep fear. Meditating on the Psalms is one of the ways I counter anxious thoughts. A regular time in God’s word empowers us to overcome worry, anxiety, or fear.
- Search for Bible verses that remind you of God’s presence, power, and protection.
- Post verses to remind you of God’s faithfulness.
- Pray God’s truth to counter fear.
- Memorize key scriptures for God’s truth is your greatest weapon.
Regardless of status or situation, fear is a part of life. Fear isn’t a matter of if, but a question of when. Lately I’ve been strengthened by Psalm 27. David show us how hold onto faith when we battle fearful thoughts.
In Psalm 27:1, David demonstrates simple but profound strategies for overcoming fear. Simple doesn’t mean easy, but many discount the power of purposefully choosing faith over fear. When I let my feelings drive my beliefs, I need to remember the nature and power of God.
The Lord is my light and my salvation;
Whom shall I fear?–Psalm 27:1
Look for God’s light.
One of the first acts of creation, God spoke light into the darkness of the unformed expanse. God’s power creates light in the dark, order from chaos, something from nothing. Light in the darkness makes all the difference, doesn’t it?
When God shines His light, truth changes our perspective, reminding us that He is trustworthy. Trust in God for light to deal with whatever situation instills fear in your heart today.
Whether fear creeps in the back door or barges through the front door, recognizing fear gives us the opportunity make choices. Unnamed fear lurking in the dark of inattention or denial creates tension and stress. Fear will boss us around if we don’t set our focus on God.
David asks the question we all need to ask on our hard days.
Whom shall I fear? Other variants of this question include the following: What am I really afraid of? How is fear impacting me?
At times, fear and anxiety have been a battleground in my life. My first impulse is to ask the wrong questions: How can God save me? Where is God in darkness if I can’t see Him? What if?
In my flesh, I prefer to see the answers before deciding to risk trusting God. With unspoken demands, I’ve made certainty and security an idol as my fears spiral out of control. This is one of the reasons that I need to consider what I’m believing in the moment of fear. When the light of truth shines in the darkness of lies I’ve believed, hurts I’ve received, or uncertainties I face, my perspective changes and my faith is strengthened.
[tweetthis]Truth is God’s fear-fighting weapon. #fightfear #anxiety @GingHarrington via @SDGwords[/tweetthis]
Please join me for more powerful strategies to overcome fear in my recent guest post at JerushaAgen.com, Looking for Light: 4 Ways to Escape the Darkness of Fear. I hope you”ll enjoy a variety of excellent articles on fight fear on Jerusha’s website. This is my first time teaming up with a fiction author, so make sure to check out Jerusha’s novels while on her site. I’m excited to feature a post from Jerusha later this fall!
Friend, fear is something we all face at times. How do you fight fear? Leave a comment and share something that helps you restore peace and confidence on the days when fear wages war in your life.
Reset Your Worry Meter
Why do I worry so much?
Have you every asked yourself this question?
I’m pretty sure we all have at some point in time. Here’s a story about a time my worry meter went off in a big way. Unexpected news and unwanted change has a way of bringing up fear, worry, and anxiety.[tweetthis hidden_hashtags=”#quiettime”]How to handle worry is a question we must all grapple with.[/tweetthis]
“We’re moving this summer,” my husband announced as we sat down to dinner. Four pairs of eyes open wide with surprise. “Where are we going, Daddy? Is it far away,” my youngest daughter asked?
This wasn’t the conversation I expected or wanted at the dinner table. Unprepared for uncertainty, I tried to take it in. Excited and upset, emotions and thoughts fought an internal tug of war. When is the last time unexpected news or a challenging situation set off your internal worry meter?
Do you need to reset your internal worry-meter?
As military family, we’ve relocated many times, but as our oldest entered the high school years, we hoped to settle in Virginia. That night, I remember sitting straight in my chair, wood pressing against my back, as the vision of moving boxes made me slightly nauseous. What circumstances alert your worry meter?
Moving has been a personal battle zone of anxiety, and my internal system immediately served up the familiar fears that come with moving (You can read more about learning to trust God during my battle with anxiety in the first chapter of my book).
Squelching my emotions, I jumped into the conversation, doing my best to build excitement and calm concerns of our three children. Enthusiastic on the outside, I pushed back the past worries that threatened to take over.
The next morning, I woke early as the sun began to light the sky with a soft light filtering through the window. As my concerns ramped up for the day, a Bible verse came to mind.
“Do not let your heart be troubled; believe in God, believe also in Me” (John 14:1 NASB).
God used this verse to help me counter my fears.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
This week I’m guest posting at Salley Matheny’s wonderful website, focused on telling the next generation about the faithfulness of God through sharing stories, encouragement, book reviews, and great resources. Hop over to Sally’s to read the rest of this post.
I’m following up her wonderful review of my book, Holy in the Moment, with this guest post.
Book Review of Holy in the Moment
Here are a few of Sally’s comments:
A little humor tops a mound of truth. . . With heartfelt writing, Harrington builds a genuine sisterhood among Christian women.
Biblical insights, personal stories, and applicable ideas, Harrington helps us discover how our choices in the daily moments of life can promote growth in holiness.
There are many insightful passages in this book, stated in a way this ordinary mama can understand. I wanted to highlight something on every page. . . So, I ordered two more copies.
You can read Sally’s review here.
Enjoy Sally’s many book reviews here.
Are you getting the most out of your summer? In all of your summer activities, don’t forget to nourish your soul. Check out these quick tips for restoring your soul this summer.
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