How to Find Friendship When You Feel Lonely (Biblical Hope for Hard Seasons)
Struggling to find friendship when you feel lonely? Discover biblical encouragement and practical steps for making friends as an adult.
Have you ever tried to find friendship when you feel lonely—and wondered why it still feels so hard?
Surrounded by people, you still feel disconnected, unsure where you belong, or hesitant to reach out again. If you’ve wrestled with how to deal with loneliness as a Christian, you’re not alone. Many women struggle with loneliness and finding friends, especially in seasons of transition, loss, or change.
In this conversation, we’re talking with Kristen Strong, author of Desperate Woman Seeks Friends. Join us for an honest look at loneliness, belonging, and what it looks like to build meaningful connection in real life.
Why Is It So Hard to Find Friendship When You Feel Lonely?
Before we go deeper into this conversation, it’s worth naming something many of us experience: loneliness is far more common than we realize—and it’s exactly why this conversation matters so much.
Kristen, what prompted you to write Desperate Woman Seeks Friends?
Kristen Strong:
Honestly, friendship is something I’ve been fascinated with since I first started writing. My very first paid article was on friendship, and it’s always stayed with me.
But this book came from a deeper place. For much of my life, I didn’t feel like I had “my people” in a consistent way—especially locally. Whenever I wrote about friendship, people responded. They were wrestling with it too.
At the same time, research was confirming what many of us already felt—that we’re living in a loneliness epidemic. It really felt like the book I was always supposed to write—it just wasn’t the right time until now.
How Do You Deal with Loneliness as a Christian?
Before we talk about friendship on the outside, we need to look at what’s happening on the inside—because how we understand loneliness and the role our faith plays in it shapes how we respond.
Q: How has your faith shaped the way you think about loneliness and belonging?
Kristen Strong:
My faith has been everything in this. The Lord has taught me that loneliness itself isn’t always a bad thing.
Isolation for long periods isn’t healthy—but seasons of loneliness are part of life. Instead of being afraid of them, I’ve learned to become curious. What is God trying to teach me here?
There was a season when I couldn’t seem to make friends no matter how hard I tried. I even joked that I should stand in my yard holding a sign that said, “Desperate Woman Seeks Friends.”
During that time, the Lord showed me something I didn’t expect. I realized He removed the distraction of friendships so I could go deeper with Him.
And that changed everything.
Because even when friends weren’t there—Jesus was. He is the friend who never fails.
“Sometimes loneliness isn’t just something to fix—it’s a place where God is inviting us to a deeper connection with Him.”
Are We Expecting Too Much from Friendship?
As we move into the realities of friendship, this next part of the conversation brings gentle clarity to something many of us feel, but don’t always recognize. Sometimes the struggle isn’t just finding friends. It’s what we’re expecting those friendships to carry.
Q: Sometimes we depend on friendships for things the Lord wants us to depend on Him for. Can you speak to that?
Kristen Strong:
That’s been absolutely true in my life. I’m a doer, and I like to fix things. For a long time, I looked to friendships to fill emotional gaps that really needed to be filled by God.
I’d finally make one friend—and then expect her to be everything. That’s a lot of pressure for one person, whether we realize it or not.
Over time, I began to see what was happening. I skipped over God, depending on friends to meet my needs. While God works through friendships, He was teaching me to come to Him first.
And I want to say this clearly, because it matters: if friendship feels hard, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It’s hard simply because it’s hard.
God uses friendships in our lives—but He also wants to be our first place of connection, the One we return to again and again.
“If friendship feels hard, it doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It means you’re human.”
Why Is Making Friends as an Adult More Difficult Than It Used to Be?
At some point, many of us notice a shift. Friendship doesn’t happen as easily as it once did. The built-in rhythms of school, shared environments, and everyday proximity change—and suddenly, connection requires more effort than it used to.
Q: Friendship seems to be a challenge across every season of life, but it does feel different now. What are you seeing today?
Kristen Strong:
It really is harder in many ways—especially now. We’re more connected digitally, but often less connected personally.
It’s not just about being busy. There are deeper shifts in how we live, communicate, and relate to one another that make friendship feel more complicated in this season of life.
We spend so much time interacting through screens that we’re losing some of the natural, interpersonal skills that used to help friendships form more easily.Starting conversation or reading social cues don’t come as naturally when most of our interaction happens online.
Younger generations especially have grown up this way. They’re often called “digital natives,” meaning they’ve had fewer opportunities to practice face-to-face communication. But honestly, it’s not just them—it’s affecting all of us to some degree.
And then you add in the realities of adult life. We’re no longer in environments where we’re surrounded by peers every day. We’re managing full schedules, responsibilities, families, work. All of that makes connection slower and more intentional.
So yes, it’s harder. But harder doesn’t mean impossible.
It just means we have to approach friendship differently. We have to be more intentional and more patient. We need to be more willing to take small steps toward connection than we may have needed to in earlier seasons of life.
What Are We Getting Wrong About Friendship?
Sometimes the hardest part of friendship isn’t what’s happening around us, but what we believe about it. The assumptions we carry shape how we show up, how we respond, and even whether we try at all.
Q: What are some common myths about friendship?
Kristen Strong:
I think one of the biggest myths is believing it’s harder for us than it is for everyone else.
We assume we should be able to walk into a room and instantly find our people. We think connections should be easy. It’s all too easy to believe something must be wrong with us if we struggle to make friends.
But the truth is, it’s hard for everyone.
Friendship is both an art and a skill that we can develop over time. Some people may have more of a natural ease with it, but no one is born knowing exactly how to build meaningful relationships. It takes practice.
For a long time, I fell into a victim mindset. I would tell myself things like, people already have their friends, or this just isn’t a friendly place, or it’s harder here than it is for other people. And while there may have been some truth in those circumstances, I was letting them become a roadblock.
Looking back, it just took more effort than I was used to. I didn’t always want to give it. Realizing this was a turning point for me.
While friendship may be harder in some seasons or environments, it’s not impossible for any of us. These hard seasons call for intention, persistence, and willingness to keep showing up. Even when it doesn’t come easily.
How Do You Start Building Friendship in a Lonely Season?
This is where the conversation turns toward both honesty and hope.
Q: What would you say to the woman who feels stuck or unseen?
Kristen Strong:
I would say—first, you’re not alone in that feeling. Truly. So many of us have been there, even if it doesn’t always look that way from the outside.
But I’d also gently ask a question I’ve had to ask myself: Am I going deep with anyone?
Because sometimes we can be surrounded by people and still feel lonely. We may have plenty of acquaintances, plenty of conversations, but everything stays at the surface. And often, that’s not because we don’t want deeper friendship—it’s because we’re hesitant to be vulnerable.
We don’t want to share the hard parts. We don’t want to seem like we have struggles. We want to appear put together. But when we stay in that place, it keeps our relationships from ever moving beyond the surface.
In researching this, I read a great book called Made for Friendship by Drew Hunter, and he uses an analogy that really stuck with me. He says we often treat friendship like a cruise ship, where we know a little about a lot of people. But real friendship is more like a submarine, where you go deep with a few.
And that depth requires vulnerability.
It means being willing to share not just what’s going well, but the good, the hard, and even the messy parts of life. And when you do that, it creates space for the other person to do the same. That’s where real connection begins.
So sometimes the shift isn’t finding more people—it’s letting yourself be more fully known by the people already around you.
What Small Steps Help You Make Friends as an Adult?
This is where the conversation turns practical. It’s also where we begin to see how small, intentional rhythms can shape the way we experience connection over time.
Q: Here on the podcast, we love talking about small, practical rhythms that help us live with more hope. Is there one practice the Lord has taught you that has become a habit of hope when it comes to cultivating friendships?
Kristen Strong:
Yes, and it’s so simple.
When I notice something I appreciate about someone, I say it.
It might be something small, like the way she interacts with her child, something she’s wearing, or just something kind I observe. And whether I know her or not, I name it.
That doesn’t mean I’ve become close friends with every person I talk with. Not at all. But those small moments create connection. They have a way of opening the door, even just a little.
They also help me practice being friendly. And that’s really the first step in building any kind of friendship.
Sometimes those small interactions lead to a second conversation. Sometimes they don’t. But either way, they matter. They can brighten someone’s day. Over time, it’s becoming easier to connect with people. Even in settings where I don’t know anyone, I’m more comfortable starting a conversation because I’ve practiced it in small ways.
Most friendships don’t begin with big moments. They begin with small, intentional ones that grow over time.
How Do You Quiet Insecurity and Fear in Friendship?
Even when we take small steps toward connection, there’s often another layer beneath the surface. Old wounds, insecurity, and internal narratives can quietly shape how we show up in relationships.
Ginger Harrington:
I think there are so many internal conversations we have as women when it comes to friendship—wondering if we’re accepted, if someone really likes us, or if we’re being left out. How do we keep those thoughts from taking over and allow each new friendship to be its own story?
For me, some of that goes all the way back to elementary school. I was the girl who got made fun of for being chubby. It planted a message in my heart: people don’t really like you.
It’s amazing how those early experiences can stay with you. Even years later, they can resurface in new situations. And suddenly that old message echoes in our minds.
How do we keep those thoughts from taking over and allow each new friendship to be its own story?
Kristen Strong:
That’s such a real struggle. And even as we get older, while we may care less about what people think than we did in our twenties, it doesn’t mean we stop caring altogether.
I remember being in middle school and having this moment where I suddenly thought, maybe this friend is only here because she has nothing better to do. That thought stayed with me. It made me question whether people really valued me or if I was just a convenient option.
And I think those kinds of messages can stick with us. They can pop up years later in new situations, even when they’re not actually true.
Most of the time, people are thinking about themselves.
We’re rarely analyze everything someone else says. If anything, we’re wondering, Did I say something weird? Did I come across okay?
So much of the pressure we feel is coming from our own internal dialogue rather than reality.
Also, there’s a spiritual component to this. The enemy loves to isolate us. One of the easiest ways to do that is in our thoughts. If he can make us believe we don’t belong or that people don’t really want us around, then we start to withdraw before anything even happens externally.
We walk into a space with a different mindset. When we focus on getting to know others instead of worrying about what we’re going to receive—it changes the experience.
We often leave having received more than we expected.
How Does God Meet You in Seasons of Loneliness?
At the heart of this conversation is a truth we all need to remember, especially in the moments when loneliness feels the heaviest. Kristen points back to Scripture to remind us that our longing for connection is not weakness or failure. It is part of how God made us.
Q: Are there any specific Scriptures or promises from God that have given you hope or wisdom or strength during seasons of loneliness that have been game changers for you?
Kristen Strong:
Yes. One of the passages that has been especially meaningful to me is in Genesis, where God says:
“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’” (Genesis 2:18, NLT)
What stands out to me about that is this happens before the fall, before sin enters the world. And yet God still says, it is not good for man to be alone.
So loneliness is not always a sign that you’re doing something wrong. It’s not simply the result of sin. It’s a reflection of how we were created. We were made for connection.
I also think about Ruth and Naomi and the way Ruth stayed with Naomi. Naomi gave her the chance to leave, but Ruth chose to remain. That story reminds me that friendship can be a place of real faithfulness and perseverance.
At the same time, friendship takes wisdom. It takes two yeses for a friendship to grow. If someone is not open to that relationship, then it’s important to turn toward the people who do see you, who do value you, and who do want to invest in that connection. But there are also times when perseverance matters, and the Lord gives wisdom for that too.
And through all of it, I come back to this: you are not alone in your loneliness.
That feeling does not mean something is wrong with you. It means you are human, and you were made for connection.
But even in the waiting, even when friendship does not look the way you hoped it would, God is present. He has not left you. He has not forgotten you. His presence with you is steady, and His character does not change.
Loneliness may be part of your story, but it is not the whole story. God is still at work, even here.
About Kristen Strong
Kristen Strong is an author, speaker, and encourager who helps women navigate friendship, belonging, and seasons of change with honesty and hope. As the author of Desperate Woman Seeks Friends, she offers a warm and practical perspective on the challenges of connection and the beauty of meaningful relationships.
A former military spouse, Kristen draws from years of transition and starting over to speak into the real-life struggles many women face when building community. Through her writing and speaking, she reminds women that they are not alone and that friendship, while sometimes hard, is always worth pursuing.
You can connect with Kristen at kristenstrong.com or follow her on Instagram @kristenstrong.
About Ginger Harrington
Ginger Harrington is an author, speaker, and host of the Habits of Hope Podcast, where she encourages women to build daily rhythms that help them stay rooted in God’s truth through every season of life. Her work focuses on spiritual formation, resilient hope, and finding God’s presence in the middle of real, everyday moments.
Resources & Links
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
Desperate Woman Seeks Friends by Kristen Strong
Made for Friendship by Drew Hunter
Christian Hospitality and Loneliness: How One Invitation Can Restore Hope (Episode 62)
How to Build Strong Community When You Feel Disconnected (Episode 38)
How to Love Others Like Jesus: Actionable Steps for Everyday Life (Episode 22)
Why Small Habits Matter More Than You Think (Faithfulness in Everyday Life)
Small habits shape your life through consistency in daily habits, forming patterns that lead to faithfulness in the little things over time.
Have you ever felt like the small things you do each day don’t really matter?
Reading a few verses. Saying a quick prayer. Tidying one space. Taking a short walk. Choosing a better response in a hard moment.
They can feel so small—almost too small to make a difference.
And if you’re honest, it’s easy to wonder if those little choices are shaping anything at all.
But what if those small, consistent actions are the very place your life is being formed?
That’s where this conversation begins. Not with pressure to do more, but with an invitation to be faithful in what’s right in front of you.
Because over time, small habits don’t stay small.
They shape a life.
What Does Scripture Say About Faithfulness in Little Things?
Jesus speaks directly to this in Gospel of Luke 16:10: whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much.
It’s easy to hear that and think about big opportunities or future responsibilities. But this verse brings us back to something much more immediate.
Faithfulness begins in the everyday.
It begins in the small things you might be tempted to overlook—the next right step, the quiet decision, the ordinary moment.
And if you’re anything like me, that’s a big relief. When I start thinking about the “big picture,” I can feel overwhelmed quickly. But when I come back to what’s right in front of me today, it becomes doable again.
Faithfulness isn’t about managing everything.
It’s about showing up in what’s already in your hands.
How Do Consistent Habits Actually Shape Your Life?
Small habits shape your life through consistent repetition that forms both your thinking and your actions. Over time, what begins as intentional effort becomes natural, creating patterns that influence who you are becoming.
There’s something built into the way we’re designed that supports this.
When you repeat a thought, a response, or a behavior, you begin to strengthen that pathway. What once felt difficult starts to feel familiar. What once required effort begins to happen more naturally.
And that’s why this matters so much.
The small things you repeat don’t just fill your days.
They shape who you are becoming.
Why Consistency Matters More Than Good Intentions
For a long time, I jokingly referred to myself as the “queen of good intentions.”
Maybe you’ve been there too.
You want to grow. You want to be consistent. You want to follow through. But wanting something and actually living it out can feel like two very different things.
And over time, that gap can feel frustrating.
Here’s what I’ve had to learn:
It’s not our intentions that shape our lives.
It’s our consistent actions.
That doesn’t mean intention doesn’t matter. It does. But intention without follow-through doesn’t create change.
What shapes your life is what you repeat.
That’s where habits come in—not as pressure to perform, but to practice faithfulness in the everyday rhythms of your life.
Transformation Involves Your Whole Life
One of the reasons we struggle with consistency is that we often approach change in a fragmented way. It’s not simply a matter of self-discipline. Real change goes deeper than trying harder.
We try to change behavior without addressing our thoughts. We focus on actions without considering our emotions. We attempt discipline without understanding what is happening in our hearts.
But real transformation involves the whole person.
Scripture calls us to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. This isn’t just poetic language—it reflects how deeply connected every part of us is.
Your thoughts influence your choices. What you think about sets direction for what you choose. Your will—your ability to follow through—is closely tied to what is happening in your mind.
When your thoughts are working against you, consistency becomes difficult. Even when your intentions are good, misaligned thinking makes follow-through feel like an uphill climb.
I’ve experienced this more times than I can count—wanting to build a habit, wanting to be consistent, and yet feeling stuck. Not because I didn’t care, but because something underneath wasn’t aligned.
When these parts are working against each other, growth feels frustrating and slow. But when they begin to align, something shifts. What once felt forced begins to feel more natural. What once required constant effort begins to feel more possible.
If your thoughts say something doesn’t matter, consistency will break down. If your mind is renewed, your habits begin to follow. This is where we move beyond behavior change into something deeper. This is about formation.
Instead of forcing change, we begin to ask a different question: Where might God be inviting alignment in my life?
Because real transformation happens as your thoughts, your desires, and your actions begin to move in the same direction—aligned with what God is already doing within you.
How Small Habits Become Part of Who You Are
At first, every habit requires effort.
You think about it.
You choose it.
You remember to follow through.
But over time, something shifts.
What you practice consistently begins to move from effort to something more natural. It becomes part of how you live.
And that’s a gift, because you don’t have to rely on motivation alone. You’re not starting from scratch every day. The things you’ve practiced begin to support you.
I’ve seen this in small ways over time—areas where something that once felt hard now feels almost automatic.
And it reminds me that growth doesn’t happen all at once.
It happens slowly, quietly, and consistently.
Consistency in Daily Habits in My Life
These habits don’t usually look dramatic. They look like small, faithful choices repeated over time.
For me, one example has been learning to shift from anxiety to trust—especially when it comes to my kids.
My default in the past has often been to worry. To try to figure things out. To carry something that was never mine to hold in the first place.
Through the years God has been helping me build a different pattern. When something comes up, I’m learning to pause and remember that He is already at work in their lives. That I can trust Him. That I can pray differently—not just “fix this,” but “Lord, show me how to walk with You in this.”
That hasn’t changed overnight. But it is changing.
Another area for me has been something as simple—and honestly, as frustrating—as keeping up with the kitchen. There are days I don’t want to do it. Days I fall behind. Days I feel like I’m starting over again.
But I’ve also experienced the difference it makes. Walking into a clean space. Having things in order. Feeling like I can breathe again. It’s not exciting. But it matters.
And those small acts of faithfulness—whether it’s your home, your thoughts, your responses, or your relationships—begin to shape your life over time.
Practical Ways to Practice Faithfulness in Everyday Life
In our podcast conversation, Larissa and I shared more examples of what it can look like to practice consistency in small, everyday ways. These are areas where we are seeing the benefit of consistency bring growth.
For example:
Returning to journaling in a new way
You may already have a rhythm of gratitude, but then find the Lord gently leading you to go a little deeper. Maybe it’s adding a few lines of reflection or noticing His faithfulness in places that don’t always make it onto a gratitude list. Even a small daily practice can open up space for deeper awareness over time.
Creating a simple “looking forward to” rhythm
In seasons where it feels hard to look ahead, a small habit like naming one or two things you’re looking forward to the next day can quietly shift your perspective. It doesn’t have to be big—just something that helps your heart lean toward hope instead of dread.
Showing up consistently for support and growth
Whether it’s counseling, a trusted conversation, or another space where you’re intentionally processing what’s going on in your life, the habit of showing up matters. Over time, that consistency creates room for clarity, healing, and forward movement.
Taking care of what’s right in front of you
A small task you could put off—but instead, you take a few minutes to do it now. Clearing a space. Finishing something simple. Creating just a little more margin. Those small actions often bring more mental and emotional clarity than we expect.
Reaching out in relationships
Instead of waiting for the perfect time, you make the call. Send the message. Initiate the connection. Even a short conversation can bring encouragement and remind both of you that you’re not walking alone.
None of these feel significant on their own. But over time, they begin to change the way you live. They become the quiet, steady ways you practice faithfulness in the life God has given you.
Why Small Habits Are Worth Building
Habits matter because they help you live out what you value consistently.
They help you show up when motivation fades—which it does.
They reduce the constant need to decide what to do next.
They align your daily life with what matters most.
And they make faithfulness sustainable.
Because the truth is, we don’t drift into growth. We drift into patterns. And those patterns, over time, shape the direction of our lives.
The good news is that those patterns can change.
How to Start Practicing Faithfulness in the Little Things
This is where it can start to feel overwhelming—but it doesn’t have to be. You don’t need to change everything. You just need one small step. One place where you can begin to practice faithfulness.
It might be:
pausing before reacting
taking a few minutes to pray
clearing one small space
reaching out to someone
returning to Scripture
Not perfectly. Not impressively. Just consistently.
And letting the Lord lead you in that process.
Because this isn’t about doing more.
It’s about becoming someone who is faithful in the small things.
FAQ: Small Habits and Faithfulness in Everyday Life
Do small habits really make a difference over time?
Yes—small habits make a significant difference because they shape what you do consistently. Over time, repeated actions form patterns, and those patterns influence your thoughts, choices, and direction. What feels small in the moment often becomes the foundation for lasting change.
Why is it so hard to stay consistent with small habits?
Consistency is often difficult because we focus on behavior without addressing what’s happening underneath—our thoughts, emotions, and expectations. When those aren’t aligned, even simple habits can feel like an uphill climb. Growth becomes more sustainable when your thinking begins to align with truth.
How do I start building a habit without feeling overwhelmed?
Start with one small step.
Choose a habit that feels simple and doable and focus on showing up consistently rather than doing it perfectly. You don’t need to change everything at once. Faithfulness grows when you return to the same small practice over time.
What if I keep starting over and losing momentum?
Starting over is part of the process.
There will be seasons where consistency feels easier and others where it feels harder. The goal isn’t perfection—it’s returning. Each time you begin again, you are still building something over time.
Are habits just about self-discipline, or is there something more?
Habits are not just about self-discipline.
They are one of the ways you participate in what God is already doing in your life. As you practice small, faithful steps, you are not working alone—you are cooperating with His work in you.
Where Transformation Really Begins
Small habits don’t feel powerful in the moment. They feel ordinary. Easy to overlook. Easy to dismiss.
But over time, they shape your thoughts, your responses, and your direction. They become the place where transformation takes root. And as you practice faithfulness in the small things, you begin to see something deeper:
God is at work—not just in the big moments, but in the everyday rhythms of your life.
Habit of Hope
Choose one small habit this week.
Just one.
Practice it—not to achieve something, but as an act of faithfulness. Because when you are faithful in the little things, God is at work in ways you may not even see yet.
If the idea of finding God in the small, everyday moments resonates with you, this is the heart behind Holy in the Moment. It’s a simple, practical guide to recognizing God’s presence and responding to Him right in the middle of ordinary life—where faithfulness is formed one small step at a time.
As an Amazon Associate I earn from qualifying purchases.
References
The Life You’ve Always Wanted by John Ortberg
Living in Christ’s Presence by Dallas Willard
Holy in the Moment by Ginger Harrington
Author Bio
Ginger Harrington is a writer, speaker, and host of the Habits of Hope Podcast, where she helps women build daily rhythms that lead to resilient faith and lasting hope. She is the author of Holy in the Moment and creates practical, Scripture-centered resources to help you grow in your walk with God through everyday life.
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6 Healthy Ways to Process Your Feelings with Faith
What Is Holy Leisure? Finding Joy with God Instead of Quiet Time Pressure
Struggling with quiet time pressure? Discover how “holy leisure” transforms your time with God from duty into joyful, life-giving communion.
There are seasons when something meant to nourish our souls begins to feel like pressure.
We know time with God matters, and we truly want it. But somewhere along the way, it quietly shifts—from delight to duty, from relationship to routine.
That’s why this conversation with Cara Ray felt like such a deep exhale for me. Her message about “holy leisure” gently invites us back to something we often forget: God isn’t waiting for our performance—He’s inviting us into His presence. And that changes everything.
Why Does Quiet Time Start to Feel Like a Chore?
Before we dive into the heart of holy leisure, Cara shares how this tension first showed up in her own story.
Ginger Harrington:
You describe yourself as a former “quiet time checkbox checker.” Can you take us back to that season? When did you begin to realize your spiritual rhythms had shifted from delight to duty?
Cara Ray:
I became a Christian very early in life, around six or seven. But as a teenager, I really wanted to own my faith and grow spiritually. I was being discipled to have a daily quiet time, and all of that was very well-meaning.
But it became something I felt like a spiritual failure at.
If I wasn’t getting up early, I wasn’t doing it right. If it wasn’t an hour long, I wasn’t doing it right. If I didn’t have an emotional experience, I wasn’t doing it right.
And that mindset stuck with me for a long time.
Then about seven years ago, I was reading The Celebration of Discipline and came across a phrase—odium sanctum, or “holy leisure.” It described this restful, meditative way of life.
That phrase captured my attention. I realized, this is what I’ve been missing.
I wanted my time with God to feel like something I enjoyed—like going to coffee with a friend or watching a sunset. And I began to ask: Why can’t time in God’s Word feel like that?
I wanted my time with the Lord to feel leisurely… something I enjoy, not something I have to check off.
How Do You Enjoy God Without Pressure in Your Quiet Time?
As Cara began to unpack this idea, it revealed something deeper about how we relate to God.
Ginger Harrington:
I think many of us can relate to evaluating our quiet time—was it good enough? Did I get something out of it? That mindset can lead us into performance instead of communion.
Cara Ray:
Yes, exactly. And I think holy leisure frees us from that.
It becomes a habit—someth building a muscle.
Not every time in God’s Word is emotional or euphoric. Sometimes the Spirit speaks very gently. But as we continue returning, something deeper is being formed in us.
When we remove that checkbox mentality, it changes how we approach God’s Word—and what we receive from it.
“When we remove the checkbox mentality, it changes how we approach God—and what we receive from Him.”
What Is the Difference Between Union and Communion with God?
Before moving into how this plays out practically, Cara introduces a foundational truth that reshapes everything.
Ginger Harrington:
You talk about union with Christ versus communion with Christ. Can you explain that?
Cara Ray:
Our union with Christ is secure. It’s the relationship we have because of what Jesus has done—not anything we do. Nothing can interrupt that.
But our communion—our felt closeness with God—can fluctuate. Sometimes sin or distraction interrupts that flow.
Understanding that changed everything for me. I realized I’m not earning God’s favor by showing up—I already have His favor in Christ. And now I want to enjoy that relationship.
What Is Holy Leisure—and What Does It Actually Mean?
Now that we’ve explored the heart behind it, let’s define what holy leisure actually means—and what it doesn’t.
Ginger Harrington:
For someone hearing this phrase for the first time, what does holy leisure not mean?
Cara Ray:
It doesn’t mean doing nothing.
We often think leisure is passive—like watching TV—but that’s not what I’m talking about. True leisure is an engagement of the mind, the heart, and the will.
It’s a pursuit of what is good, true, and beautiful. And ultimately, that’s what leads our souls into rest.
So rest isn’t about doing nothing—it’s about rightly engaging with what nourishes your soul.
Why Does God Often Do His Deepest Work in Hidden Places?
As we begin to see holy leisure differently, it naturally reshapes how we think about our time with God.
Ginger Harrington:
Why do you think the hidden places—those quiet moments with God—are where He does such deep work?
Cara Ray:
Because that’s where formation happens.
That’s where it’s just you and the Lord. No one else sees it, but that’s where your heart is rooted in Him.
Over time, as you develop those patterns of prayer and Scripture, something steady is being formed in you. And that quiet work begins to shape everything else.
How Does Holy Leisure Help You Enjoy God Without Pressure in Everyday Life?
From those hidden places, Cara describes how this way of being with God begins to overflow into daily life.
Ginger Harrington:
How does holy leisure carry into everyday life without becoming another strategy for productivity?
Cara Ray:
We do have to fight that tendency—we’re wired for productivity.
But holy leisure is about overflow. It’s how your time with God begins to shape your interactions—your home, your work, your relationships.
Sometimes it doesn’t even feel like something you want to do in the moment. But as you step into it, you often discover the joy in it. That’s where the delight begins to grow.
“Holy leisure is not about doing less—it’s about enjoying God more in what you’re already doing.”
Can You Enjoy God Without Pressure Even in Hard Seasons?
This next part of the conversation moves into something we all face—seasons of dryness, suffering, and doubt.
Ginger Harrington:
How does holy leisure speak to hard seasons without offering shallow answers?
Cara Ray:
Those seasons are difficult, and sometimes we don’t even want to go to God’s Word.
But that’s exactly where we need Him most.
In those moments, He meets us. He gives us living water. He awakens our hearts and reminds us of what is true.
Sometimes those seasons of dryness are what draw us closer to Him. And holy leisure gives us a way to pursue God and even enjoy Him in the middle of suffering.
“Sometimes we avoid the very things we need most—but God meets us there.”
How Does God Produce Fruit Through Every Season?
As Cara shares, even the hardest seasons are not wasted.
Ginger Harrington:
How does this journey lead to fruitfulness?
Cara Ray:
I love the image of the vine and branches.
God prunes us—not to harm us, but so we’ll bear more fruit. And that process can be painful.
But over time, it leads to something beautiful—the fruit of the Spirit growing in us.
To bear fruit, we have to abide. We stay connected. We keep returning to God’s Word and prayer. And as we do, that fruit begins to grow.
“To bear fruit, we have to abide—stay connected and keep returning.”
An Invitation to Slow Down and Enjoy God
What I love most about this conversation is how gently it brings us back to what matters most.
Not more effort or better discipline, and not a perfectly consistent routine—but presence.
Because hope doesn’t grow through striving. It grows through communion.
And maybe the next faithful step isn’t to try harder, but simply to slow down and remember that God is already near—and He is inviting you to enjoy Him.
Habit of Hope
As you carry this conversation into your own rhythms this week, begin here:
Open your Bible not as a task to complete, but as a place to enjoy time with the God who is already with you.
Frequently Asked Questions About Quiet Time and Enjoying God
Why does my quiet time feel like a chore instead of something life-giving?
Quiet time often starts to feel like a chore when it becomes performance-driven instead of relational. When we focus on doing it “right” rather than meeting with God, it can shift from delight to duty. Reframing it as time with God—not a task for God—can restore joy.
What is “holy leisure” in the Christian life?
Holy leisure is the practice of enjoying God through unhurried, attentive time in His presence. It’s not about doing nothing—it’s about engaging your heart, mind, and spirit with what is true, good, and beautiful, especially through Scripture and prayer.
How can I enjoy time with God again if I feel spiritually dry?
Start small and simple. Instead of trying to fix everything, return to God’s Word with openness rather than expectation. Even in dry seasons, God meets us. Over time, consistency—not intensity—helps restore connection.
What’s the difference between union and communion with God?
Union with God is your secure relationship in Christ—it never changes. Communion is your experience of closeness with Him, which can ebb and flow. Understanding that your relationship is secure helps remove pressure and invites you to enjoy His presence more freely.
What is one simple way to reconnect with God today?
A practical step is to read a passage like Ephesians 1–3 and notice every phrase that says “in Christ” or “with Him.” This helps anchor your identity in truth and renew your desire to know God more deeply.
Meet Cara Ray
Cara Ray is a writer, Bible teacher, and host of the Writers Block Podcast. She encourages Christian women to slow down, savor Scripture, and enjoy God in everyday life. Cara is the author of The Pursuit of Holy Leisure: Enjoying God in Everyday Places and lives in Gilbert, Arizona, with her husband and family.
Resources & Links
- The Pursuit of Holy Leisure: Enjoying God in Everyday Places by Cara Ray (Affiliate link)
- Visit Cara Ray’s website for more information and content from Cara.
Related Content On Quiet Time and Listening to God
How the Holy Spirit Comforts You in Hard Times
Discover how the Holy Spirit comforts you in hard times through truth, presence, and everyday moments. Experience biblical hope for when life feels uncertain.
One of the hardest parts of suffering is not always the pain itself—it’s the waiting.
When the circumstances don’t immediately change…
When prayer is still unanswered…
When grief is still heavy…
When questions are still there…
This is where the need for comfort becomes real.
It’s tempting to assume comfort will come when things resolve—but Scripture shows us something different:
God meets us in the middle of what hasn’t changed yet.
Something unexpected happens: a quiet peace, a remembered promise, or a sense that you are not alone.
This conversation felt especially meaningful to me because it reflects something I’ve seen many times in my own life—God doesn’t always remove the difficulty, but He meets us within it.
In this final conversation in our Holy Spirit series, we explore what it means to experience the Holy Spirit as our Comforter—not in theory, but in our real, lived moments.
This is the third post in our series on the Holy Spirit, where we’re exploring how God’s presence meets us in everyday life. In this conversation, we’re especially grateful to welcome Dr. Brenda Pace, whose wisdom and lived experience bring a beautiful depth to this topic.
If you’d like to explore the full series, you can also read:
How the Holy Spirit Guides You into Truth (What the Bible Says)
How the Holy Spirit Helps You in Your Weakness (What the Bible Says)
Who Is the God of All Comfort? (2 Corinthians 1:3–4)
We began with a passage that shapes this entire conversation:
“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort…”
Brenda Pace shared how this passage has shaped her understanding of God—not just as distant or powerful, but as deeply personal and present.
She explained that the word comfort in this passage comes from the Greek word paraklesis, which means far more than emotional soothing.
It means:
Encouragement
Strengthening
Coming alongside someone in difficulty
“When I read that verse, I see God’s active and sustaining presence in the midst of hardship.”
This reframes everything.
Comfort is not passive.
It is not abstract.
It is God actively drawing near.
But this truth isn’t always easy for us to receive.
For some, this idea of God as a comforting Father doesn’t come easily. Depending on our experiences with parents or authority figures, we may not naturally associate God with comfort.
This passage invites us to see God as He truly is:
Compassionate
Near
Personally attentive to our needs
And sometimes, receiving comfort begins with simply asking:
“Lord, help me see You as You really are.”
Once we begin to see comfort this way, it opens our eyes to recognize how God meets us in very real, everyday ways.
How the Holy Spirit Brings Comfort in Real Life
One of the most powerful parts of this conversation was hearing how God’s comfort showed up in a very tangible season.
Brenda shared about a time when her husband was deployed at the beginning of the Iraq War—a season filled with uncertainty and fear.
In response, she did something simple:
She bought a comforter.
“I went out and bought the fluffiest, most cozy comforter for my bed… and that space became where I met with God.”
Night after night, that place became a space where she:
Read Scripture
Listened to sermons
Received difficult news
Experienced God’s presence
And over time, she realized something deeper:
“That comforter was cozy, but that wasn’t where the true comfort was… it was God’s sustaining presence.”
What began as physical comfort became a picture of something far greater—God Himself drawing near.
God’s Comfort Is Sustaining, Not Just Immediate
Another moment that stood out was a simple but powerful image.
While playing the piano, Brenda pressed the sustain pedal—and suddenly understood what God was doing in her life.
“Just like that pedal sustains the note, this is what God is doing for me right now.”
That is the nature of God’s comfort.
It doesn’t always remove the pressure.
It sustains you within it.
This aligns with what we see throughout Scripture:
God strengthens weary souls
He steadies us when life feels unstable
He sustains what we cannot
We began with a passage that shapes this entire conversation:
How the Holy Spirit Uses Truth to Comfort You (John 14:26)
Jesus gave this promise to His disciples:
“But the Comforter, even the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I said unto you.” (John 14:26 ASV)
In moments when life feels uncertain, the Holy Spirit does not leave us to figure things out on our own. He teaches us, reminds us, and brings truth back to mind—often right when we need it most.
As Brenda shared:
“Truth anchors us when circumstances are unstable… His truth steadies my faith.”
This matters because our perspective is easily shaped by what we’re feeling. Fear can distort what we see, grief can cloud our thinking, and anxiety can amplify uncertainty until it feels overwhelming.
But truth has a way of gently bringing us back to what is real.
It steadies our hearts and re-centers our thinking, reminding us of what has not changed:
God is present
God is faithful
God has not abandoned us
And as Brenda so simply put it:
“Truth produces hope.”
As we receive that kind of comfort, something unexpected begins to happen—it doesn’t stop with us.
When the Holy Spirit Reminds You Who You Are
Sometimes the deepest comfort doesn’t come from changed circumstances.
It comes from changed perspective.
In our conversation, I reflected on how the Holy Spirit reminds us of what is most true about us.
Who we are in Christ
What is secure about our future
What cannot be taken from us
Because what is spiritually true about us is what is most true about us.
And in moments of failure, fear, or discouragement, that truth becomes a powerful source of comfort—and hope.
Even when everything around us feels uncertain, these truths steady our souls.
Why God Comforts You So You Can Comfort Others
One of the most powerful truths in 2 Corinthians 1 is this: God comforts us so that we can comfort others.
That “so that” changes everything.
“The comfort we receive is not meant to remain private… it becomes a resource of ministry.”–Brenda Pace
In other words: Your hardest seasons are not wasted.
They become:
A source of empathy
A place of connection
A way to come alongside others
I’ve seen this personally in my own life. Walking through seasons of caregiving and loss—especially caring for my sister during her battle with ALS—changed how I understand suffering and comfort.
There are some things you simply cannot fully understand until you’ve walked through them. And yet, those very places become the ones God uses most deeply.
What once felt like a test becomes part of your testimony. Our hardest seasons equip us to come alongside others with deep compassion.
Simple Ways to Experience God’s Comfort Daily
One of the most helpful parts of this conversation was how practical it became.
Brenda shared a simple truth:“Comfort grows from awareness.”
Here are a few practices that can help you begin to notice God’s comfort:
1. Write Down What You Feel—and What Is True
Name your emotions honestly
Then ground your feelings with Scripture
2. Practice Noticing the Good
Write down 1–10 “good things” each day
Train your heart to recognize God’s presence
As Larissa shared in our conversation, this practice teaches us to become a “noticer of the good.”
It’s choosing to pay attention to what is:
True
Good
Already present
3. Create a Daily “God Hunt”
Look for small ways God is at work
Pay attention to ordinary moments
4. Slow Down Through Journaling
Capture thoughts, prayers, and Scripture
Allow space for God to speak
“It trains our hearts to recognize that God’s comfort often arrives in ordinary ways.”
When we begin to notice, we start to see that God’s comfort is showing up more often than we realized.
And as Larissa reminded us, when we feel prompted to reach out to someone—to send a text, offer encouragement, or pray—we can trust that God is often using those small acts as part of how He comforts others.
As we slow down and pay attention, something surprising happens—we begin to see more clearly.
How to Recognize God’s Comfort When You Don’t See It
During our conversation, I described this like a connect-the-dots page.
At first, all you see are scattered points. Nothing seems connected.
Nothing seems meaningful.
As you start connecting the dots—a picture begins to emerge. What once felt random begins to reveal something intentional. The more dots you connect, the clearer the picture becomes.
God’s comfort often works this way.
It’s not coincidence.
It’s not accidental.
It’s His presence, quietly at work.
What the Comfort of God Can Look Like in Everyday Life
Sometimes we expect comfort to be dramatic. But often, it’s quiet. Here are some ways the Holy Spirit may be comforting you—even now:
A deep, unexplainable peace
A timely word from a friend
A song that speaks directly to your heart
A Scripture that meets you exactly where you are
A shift in perspective that changes how you see your situation
“Those moments are not random… God is at work as our comforter.”–Brenda Pace
Sometimes, God’s comfort comes through people.
A timely message.
A thoughtful prayer.
An unexpected encouragement.
In our conversation, Larissa shared how even a simple text or prayer from a friend can become a moment of comfort—often arriving right when it’s needed most. And often, that begins with a simple prompting.
When you feel nudged to reach out, to encourage, or to pray for someone—pay attention. That may be the Holy Spirit inviting you to participate in how He comforts others. As Larissa reminded us, we’re not responsible for the outcome—we’re simply invited to be obedient.
Perhaps the most comforting truth of all is this: God’s presence is not dependent on your awareness of it.
But awareness does change your experience of it.
I’ve often thought of it like putting on glasses. When your vision is off, you don’t always realize what you’re missing. But the moment the prescription is corrected, everything comes into focus—the details, the clarity, what was there all along.
In the same way, practices like gratitude and noticing help us “see” more clearly. They don’t create God’s presence.
They reveal it.
And suddenly, what once felt ordinary begins to look like evidence of His nearness, His care, and His comfort in your life.
You Are Not Alone—Even When It Feels Like It
One of the clearest messages from this conversation is this:
You are not alone.
Even when:
You feel overwhelmed
You don’t understand what’s happening
You can’t see how things will resolve
The Holy Spirit is present with you—bringing the comfort of God into your life, even in places that feel uncertain or heavy.
And when we pause long enough to see it, we realize that this comfort is not random—it’s part of the way God has been with us all along.
Seeing the Bigger Picture
As we close this series, it’s helpful to step back and see the whole picture:
• The Holy Spirit guides us into truth
• The Holy Spirit helps us in our weakness
• And the Holy Spirit comforts us in our suffering
This is not three separate works—it’s one beautiful expression of God’s presence in our lives.
A Prayer for the Comfort of the Holy Spirit
Father of compassion and God of all comfort, we come to you today aware that many hearts are carrying burdens. But I know that you see every sorrow, you know every anxious thought, you know every quiet grief that others may not notice. Nothing is hidden from your care. And so Lord today for those who feel overwhelmed,
I pray that you would draw near with your gentle presence. For those who are grieving, I ask that you would hold them in your mercy. For those who may feel alone today, I pray you would remind them that you have not left them. I pray, Lord, that your peace would settle troubled hearts and that your strength would steady weary souls. Teach us to receive your comfort. Teach us to receive the comfort you give and help us to become people who carry that comfort to others. May your compassion,
Lord, may it flow through our words, through our actions, through our prayers, Lord, through our presence. We trust you, you, the God of all comfort, to meet your people in every need. We pray this through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen.–Brenda Pace
A Final Word of Hope
If you are walking through a difficult season right now, start here:
Look for one small way God showed His kindness to you today.
Just one.
Write it down.
Notice it.
Receive it.
Because often, that is where comfort begins.
And over time, those small moments become something more:
A steady reminder that God is present.
A growing awareness of His faithfulness.
A deeper habit of hope.
And as you go into this week, remember:
The Holy Spirit doesn’t only guide you and help you—He comforts you with the presence of God.
Because hope isn’t just something we feel, it is the habit we can live.
About Brenda Pace
Dr. Brenda Pace is a speaker and author who encourages women and strengthens Christian community. She has written and contributed to several books, including the Journey of a Military Wife series, and serves in leadership roles with Planting Roots and the Church of God Chaplains Commission. She regularly speaks in churches and military settings around the world.
Resources & Links
Enjoy the Full Holy Spirit Series
71.How the Holy Spirit Guides You into Truth
72. How the Holy Spirit Helps Your Weakness
73. How the Holy Spirit Comforts You in Hard Times
Books by Brenda Pace:
Journey of a Military Wife series
The Yellow Ribbon Devotional
Medals Above My Heart
How the Holy Spirit Helps You in Your Weakness (What the Bible Says)
Discover how the Holy Spirit helps you in weakness—guiding your prayers, meeting your needs, and sustaining your hope through God’s steady, present help.
There are moments when life doesn’t feel dramatic or urgent—just heavy. Not overwhelming enough to call it a crisis. Not clear enough to know what to do next. Just tired. Uncertain. Weak in ways that don’t show on the outside. And in those moments, many of us quietly assume we should be able to handle things better by now.
We tell ourselves we should be stronger. More capable. Less affected. But Scripture speaks directly into that assumption.
When we hear the word help, we often imagine it as a backup plan—something we reach for after we’ve exhausted our own strength. Help becomes what we request when independence fails.
What a relief that Scripture doesn’t present help as a supplement to our competence. Scripture shows us about Holy Spirit help—God meeting us in our weakness with His presence.
It presents help as God’s nearness.
Not because we’ve tried hard enough.
Not because we’ve run out of options.
But because God knows our limits—and meets us there.
This post is part of a 3-part series on the Holy Spirit and His work in our lives:
How the Holy Spirit Guides You Into Truth
How the Holy Spirit Helps You in Your Weakness
How the Holy Spirit Comforts You in Hard Seasons (next week)
What Did Jesus Mean by “Helper”?
Before we talk about what help looks like, it’s important to hear how Jesus Himself introduced the Holy Spirit.
In John 14:16–17, Jesus says:
“I will ask the Father, and He will give you another Helper, that He may be with you forever… the Spirit of truth… you know Him because He abides with you and will be in you.”
This is not a small promise.
The Helper is:
A gift given by the Father, not something we earn
With us forever, not temporary or conditional
Abiding with us and in us, not distant or external
God’s help is not something we summon—it is Someone who abides with us.
And this reframes everything.
Help is not something we achieve by doing life well. It is something we receive because God is near.
When Needing Help Feels Like Weakness
In the world around us, needing help is often seen as:
Weakness
Inadequacy
Lack of qualification
It can feel uncomfortable—even exposing—to admit we need help.
But in God’s economy, the opposite is true.
The more we recognize our need, the more help we receive.
There is no shame in needing help from the Lord.
In fact, it is often the doorway into experiencing His presence more deeply.
How the Holy Spirit Helps You Pray When You Don’t Know How
Romans 8:26–27 says:
“The Spirit also helps our weakness… for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words.”
This meets us right where we live—because there are moments when we don’t know what to pray, what the right outcome is, or even what we truly need. Sometimes the situation is so confusing or overwhelming that all the options feel uncertain, and we are left without words.
And Scripture assumes that.
It assumes there will be times when we do not know how to pray.
But in that very place of uncertainty, we are not left alone. The Spirit knows what is in our hearts, He knows the will of God, and He intercedes for us in ways we cannot fully express.
Even when we cannot form the words, God is already at work.
When Prayer Feels Impossible
There are moments when even forming a sentence feels like too much.
You may want to pray—but feel completely unable to.
You may feel:
Emotionally exhausted
Spiritually dry
Mentally overwhelmed
And in those moments, it can feel like you are failing.
But Scripture tells a different story.
God’s will is not threatened by your lack of words.
Even when you struggle in prayer:
The Spirit is already interceding
The Spirit is already helping
The Spirit is already at work
This is not correction. It is provision.
Not: “You should be doing this better.”
But: “I know you need help—I am already helping you.”
Prayer Is Not a Performance
Many of us carry quiet pressure when it comes to prayer.
We wonder:
Am I saying the right thing?
Do I sound spiritual enough?
Am I doing this correctly?
Prayer is not a performance—it’s a conversation.
And sometimes, the most honest prayer looks like a pause: “Lord, I need help right now. Give me words.”
Even that is enough, because help in prayer is not based on your ability, but on God’s presence.
The Holy Spirit’s Help Is Received Not Earned
Hebrews 4:16 brings this truth into focus:
“Let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.”
Notice what this invites us into.
We are not told to prove ourselves, fix ourselves, or prepare ourselves—we are invited to draw near and receive. Help is not something we achieve through effort; it is something we find in the presence of God.
And just as importantly, we are drawing near to a throne of grace, not a throne of scrutiny or judgment.
So when you feel unworthy, unprepared, or unsure, that is not a reason to stay away.
It is the very reason to come.
When You Feel Like You Don’t Deserve Help
There are moments when you may hesitate to come to God.
You may think:
I’ve messed up too much
I should have known better
Why would God want to hear from me right now?
It’s important to embrace the truth that Hebrews 4:16 is an invitation and an instruction.
“Let us draw near with confidence.”
So you can come with it all:
Your mistakes and regrets
Your unmet expectations and question
Your anger and your pain
Do not let these things keep you at a distance.
Because God’s help is not reserved for when you have it all together. It is given in your time of need.
God Is Your Helper
Psalm 54:4 says:
“Behold, God is my helper; the Lord is the sustainer of my soul.”
This is not abstract—it is deeply personal.
God is not just a helper—He is your helper, and His help is not occasional or situational. He is the sustainer of your soul, which means His help is ongoing, steady, and present in every moment, not just in times of crisis.
There are days when your soul feels dry:
No motivation
No clarity
No strength
And in those moments, when you do not have what you need to keep going,
God sustains what you cannot.
When You Don’t See God’s Help Right Away
Sometimes, you can look back and clearly see how God helped you.
Other times, you are in the middle of it and you don’t see anything yet.
This can be really discouraging to say the least.
But God’s help is not limited to what you can see.
He may be protecting you in ways you don’t recognize
He may be working ahead of you
He may be sustaining you quietly
God’s help is not occasional intervention—it is a sustaining presence.
God’s Help When Anxiety Rises
Isaiah 41:10 says:
“Do not fear, for I am with you… I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, surely I will uphold you…”
Notice how many times God repeats Himself:
I am with you
I will strengthen you
I will help you
I will uphold you
This is not uncertain language.
This is promise.
And this promise becomes especially powerful when anxiety rises.
Because in those moments, it’s easy to look around for solutions.
But this verse gently redirects us:
“Do not anxiously look around you… I am your God.”
God’s help does not depend on your ability to stay steady.
He is the one holding you steady.
A Habit of Hope
The habit we are practicing is simple—but deeply countercultural:
Release the habit of carrying things alone and rest in the reality of God’s help.
So often, we carry things as if it all depends on us:
Figuring it out
Holding it together
Finding the right answers
But God’s help was never meant to be a last resort.
It is meant to be our starting place.
And part of releasing what we were never meant to carry is learning how to think differently in the middle of need.
Take Doubt Out of the Conversation
There is a powerful shift that happens when you choose to believe what God has already said.
Instead of thinking:
Maybe God won’t help me
Maybe I just need to try harder
You begin to say:“Lord, I believe You are my help. Help me see it.”
This is not ignoring reality.
It is anchoring yourself in truth.
Scripture says God is:
Your helper
Your refuge
A very present help in trouble
Will you let doubt define the conversation…
or will you let truth lead it?
Because when you take doubt out of the conversation, something shifts.
You stop striving to prove your strength…and start resting in God’s presence.
God Is a Very Present Help in Trouble
Psalm 46:1 says:
“God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble.”
This is not a distant promise or a future possibility—it is a present reality.
God does not say He might help, or that He will help eventually. He says He is a very present help, right in the middle of trouble, not just after it passes.
And that matters, because trouble is not avoided or minimized in Scripture—it is acknowledged as part of life. Yet in the midst of it, God’s presence is not reduced or delayed.
He is near, active, and already at work.
When Help Doesn’t Look Like What You Wanted
Sometimes God’s help does not look like the outcome we hoped for, the timing we expected, or the resolution we imagined.
Instead, His help often meets us in a deeper way—by sustaining us within the very circumstances we wish would change. While we tend to focus on what is right in front of us, God is working with a much broader perspective, shaping not only the situation but also our hearts within it.
And in that place, His help is not absent—it is active, steady, and sufficient for what we are walking through.
A Real Picture of God’s Help
There are moments in life where you can see this clearly.
Moments when:
You had no strength
No clarity
No ability to hold yourself together
And yet—you were held.
There are times when God gives:
Strength you did not have
Joy that has no visible source
Peace that does not match your circumstances
Not because everything is fixed…
but because He is present.
The Connection Between Help and Hope
All of this leads to one steady truth:
Hope is not built on clarity—it is sustained by presence.
You do not have to:
Understand everything
See how it will work out
Have the answers
Because even when you feel:
Unsure
Tired
Wordless
Out of options
God is actively at work on your behalf.
He is not waiting for you to get it right.
He is not standing at a distance.
He is present. Helping. Interceding.
Practical Ways to Rest in God’s Help
These are not steps to make God act.
They are ways to respond to the help He has already given.
1. Ask the Holy Spirit to Help You Pray
When you don’t have words, say so.
Silence and sighs are not prayer failures.
2. Draw Near with Confidence
Not because everything is resolved…
but because help is promised in your need.
3. Remind Yourself: “God Is My Helper”
When you feel overwhelmed:
“Lord, You are my helper.”
4. Remember God Is with You
Especially when anxiety rises.
Even if fear doesn’t disappear right away.
5. Rest in God as Your Refuge
When life feels unsettled:
You are held, even when nothing feels stable.
Ask for Help in the Moment
Simple prayers like:
“Lord, help me love right now.”
“Help me respond with wisdom.”
“Help me experience Your peace.”
Frequently Asked Questions
What does it mean that the Holy Spirit helps us?
It means God meets you in your weakness. The Holy Spirit actively intercedes, guides, and strengthens you—even when you don’t know what to do.
What if I don’t know how to pray?
That is exactly when the Spirit helps. Scripture says He intercedes for you when you don’t have the words.
Does God only help when I ask?
No. The Spirit helps your weakness—even when you don’t think to ask. He is already at work.
Why doesn’t God’s help always change my situation?
Because sometimes His help is not about changing your circumstances—but sustaining you within them.
How can I trust God is helping when I don’t feel it?
God’s help is based on His promise, not your feelings. He is a very present help—even when you don’t feel it.
A Final Word of Encouragement
God has not left you to figure things out on your own.
He has not asked you to carry your weakness by yourself, nor has He stepped back to see how well you can manage it. Instead, He has given you His Spirit—present, helping, interceding, and actively at work on your behalf.
You are not failing at faith because you feel needy.
In many ways, need is the very place where we begin to recognize God’s help most clearly, not because everything suddenly changes, but because we become more aware of His presence within it.
And as you release the habit of carrying things alone and begin to rest in the reality of His help,
you may discover that hope has been holding you all along.
If you want a quiet way to practice this—learning to draw near, notice God’s presence, and receive grace for each day—you might begin with a simple rhythm of reflection and prayer.
Not striving.
Not performing.
Just receiving what God has already given.
About the Author
Ginger Harrington is the host of the Habits of Hope Podcast and creator of resources designed to help you build rhythms of faith for everyday life. Through her writing, speaking, and teaching, she encourages women to grow deeper in hope, resilience, and spiritual formation—one small habit at a time.
Related Content
This post is part of a 3-part series on the Holy Spirit and His work in our lives:
How the Holy Spirit Guides You Into Truth
How the Holy Spirit Helps You in Your Weakness
How the Holy Spirit Comforts You in Hard Seasons (next week)
How the Holy Spirit Guides You Into Truth (What the Bible Says)
What does the Bible say about Holy Spirit guidance? Learn how the Spirit guides believers into truth, conviction, wisdom, and hope.
Have you ever wanted God’s guidance and felt unsure what that is supposed to look like?
Not because you doubt that God leads, but because the conversation around guidance can sometimes become confusing—especially when personal stories, methods, and expectations add to the uncertainty rather than bring clarity.
So instead of beginning with experiences, we start with a better question:
What does Scripture plainly say about Holy Spirit guidance and how the Spirit leads believers into truth?
That’s the question we explore in this episode of the Habits of Hope Podcast.
And the place to begin is with the words of Jesus Himself.
What Is Holy Spirit Guidance?
Holy Spirit guidance is the work of the Spirit of truth, helping believers understand Scripture, recognize what is true, grow in wisdom, and walk in alignment with Christ.
This guidance is not about discovering secret information or following a formula. The Holy Spirit leads believers into truth by illuminating God’s Word, bringing conviction, confirming our identity in Christ, and giving wisdom for everyday life.
In This Article
In this article, we’ll explore:
- What the Bible says about Holy Spirit guidance
- A Habit of Hope to practice this week
- How the Holy Spirit guides believers into truth
- Why guidance is rooted in truth rather than formulas
- What the Spirit’s guidance can look like in everyday life
- Key Scriptures about the Holy Spirit’s guiding work
What Does the Bible Say About Holy Spirit Guidance?
One of the clearest promises about the Spirit’s guidance comes from Jesus in John 16.
“But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth.”
— John 16:13
Jesus calls the Holy Spirit the Spirit of truth.
This sets the foundation for understanding how the Spirit guides believers. The Spirit’s guidance is not centered on circumstances, feelings, or techniques. It is centered on truth.
The Spirit speaks what He receives from the Father and reveals what is true. His guidance is always aligned with God’s character and God’s Word.
The Holy Spirit’s guidance is always anchored in truth, never detached from it.
In a culture where people often speak about “your truth” or “my truth,” Scripture reminds us that truth is not defined by personal perspective. Truth is grounded in God Himself.
And when we understand that the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of truth, we can trust Him to help us understand what is real and reliable.
Habit of Hope
Trust the Holy Spirit to guide you into truth.
Often, when we seek guidance, we immediately try to solve the problem ourselves. We analyze the situation, replay scenarios in our minds, or search for the perfect answer.
But Scripture points us toward a different starting point: trust.
Instead of striving to figure everything out first, we begin by acknowledging that the Spirit of truth is already at work—guiding, teaching, and revealing what is true in God’s time.
One practical way this trust shows up is learning to rely on the Spirit’s guidance before relying on our own understanding.
Guidance Begins with Trust Rather Than Understanding
One of the most familiar verses about guidance is Proverbs 3:5–6:
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight.”
This passage reminds us that God guides us into truth by leading us onto the straight path He intends for us. But notice where the verse begins: trust. Guidance doesn’t start with figuring everything out. It begins with trusting God rather than leaning on our own understanding.
If I’m honest, when I come to God asking for guidance, I’m usually looking for a solution. I want to decide, fix something, or solve a problem. And certainly, God’s guidance helps us with those things.
Guidance is not something we manufacture through effort or achieve by becoming smart enough or spiritual enough to hear God correctly. Scripture presents guidance as something the Spirit provides..
God does invite our participation in the process, but ultimately, guidance is something the Spirit does. And that means we can trust Him to guide us—even when discernment feels difficult. There will be days when our thinking feels tangled, when we’re not quite sure what God is doing, or when we simply don’t understand.
Yet even then, we have a Father who understands us and a Holy Spirit who is with us.
We are not trying to figure life out alone.
How Does the Holy Spirit Teach Believers Truth?
Another way the Holy Spirit guides believers is by teaching them truth that comes from God, rather than from human wisdom.
“Which things we also speak, not in words taught by human wisdom, but in those taught by the Spirit.”
— 1 Corinthians 2:13
Scripture makes a clear distinction between human wisdom and truth taught by the Spirit.
Human wisdom can accumulate knowledge, information, and opinions. But the Spirit teaches truth in a different way.
Spirit-taught truth is received, not achieved.
In other words, spiritual understanding is not something we manufacture through effort. It is something God reveals.
Sometimes we can read Scripture simply as information—knowing the facts but remaining unchanged.However, when the Holy Spirit teaches us, truth moves deeper than information. It reaches the heart. It shapes how we think, how we grow, and how we respond to God.
How Does the Holy Spirit Reveal What God Has Given Us?
Scripture also tells us that the Holy Spirit brings clarity by revealing what God has already given to us.
“Now we have received not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God, so that we may know the things freely given to us by God.”
— 1 Corinthians 2:12
This is such a beautiful reminder of the Spirit’s role. The Holy Spirit reminds us what God has already given us.
We can read the information in Scripture, but learning to believe it, live in it, and walk in it happens as the Spirit gives revelation, wisdom, and understanding.
There is often a gap between what we know in our heads and what we truly understand in our hearts. That distance may only be a few inches, but it can make a profound difference in how we live. The Holy Spirit bridges that gap.
This is one reason it is so important to spend time in Scripture. When we study God’s Word, we put tools into the toolbox.
Then the Holy Spirit helps us understand how to use those tools. He brings truth to mind, helps us recognize when we need it, and shows us how it applies to our lives.
The Spirit also reveals what God has already given us in Christ:
- Salvation through Christ and new life in Him — something we receive by grace, not something we earn.
- Truth and understanding about God — the Spirit reveals what is true about God, Christ, and our standing before Him.
- Identity in Christ — understanding who we are in Christ and learning to live from that identity.
- Access to God through Jesus — nearness to God is a gift we receive, not something we achieve.
These truths are not things we must earn or accomplish–they are things God has already given. Through guidance, the Holy Spirit helps us recognize them, understand them, and grow into them over time.
The Spirit gives wisdom and understanding as we grow in our relationship with Christ. We may not understand everything immediately, but we can trust that the Holy Spirit will continue to teach and reveal truth as we walk with Him.
How the Holy Spirit Guides Through Conviction
Another way the Holy Spirit guides believers is through conviction.
“And He, when He comes, will convict the world concerning sin and righteousness and judgment.”
— John 16:8
When we hear the word convict, we often think about a legal process—someone being convicted of a crime. In Scripture, the meaning is broader, including the ideas of exposing, refuting, or convincing.
The Holy Spirit brings truth to light.
Sometimes He convicts us of sin. He also reminds us of righteousness—what is true about God and about who we are in Christ.
One way to understand this is that sin reveals the truth about our human condition, while righteousness reveals the truth about God. And when the Spirit convicts us, He is helping us see clearly what is true.
For example, one morning during my quiet time, I read a passage that included the phrase, “Be angry and do not sin.” The words seemed to jump off the page. I paused and began asking the Lord what He wanted me to understand about anger in that moment.
At first, I assumed there was a problem with sinful anger in my life. As I continued to reflect on it over the following weeks, another layer became clear.
Sometimes anger itself is not the issue.
Sometimes the issue is avoiding something that needs to be addressed.
I tend to avoid conflict, and it was as if the Spirit was gently showing me that there was a situation in my life that needed to be addressed—but it needed to be done in a godly way rather than a sinful one.
This is one way the Holy Spirit guides us: by bringing truth to the surface and helping us respond to it.
Conviction is not the same thing as condemnation.
Scripture reminds us in Romans 8:1 that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ.
When the Holy Spirit convicts us, it moves us toward repentance and growth. It helps us see truth clearly so we can bring things before God honestly and move forward in our spiritual life.
Condemnation, on the other hand, sounds very different.
Condemnation says things like:
- “You’ll never change.”
- “You messed up again.”
- “You’re hopeless.”
The Holy Spirit does not speak that way.
One of the reasons God gives us the Holy Spirit is so we can learn to recognize the difference between those voices and discern what is truly from Him.
The Spirit Bears Witness to Truth
Another way the Holy Spirit guides believers is by bearing witness to who we are in Christ.
“The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are children of God.”
— Romans 8:16
The Spirit bears witness to truth and identity.
He reminds us that we belong to God. He confirms that we are loved, forgiven, and saved by grace. He continually points us back to what is true about Christ and about our relationship with Him.
Jesus also described this work of the Spirit.
“He will testify about Me.”
— John 15:26
The Holy Spirit’s guidance always centers on Christ. The Spirit’s witness confirms truth rather than competing with it.
This means that when the Spirit is guiding us, He is helping us understand Jesus more clearly, trust Him more deeply, and live in the reality of who we are in Him.
Being Led by the Spirit Is an Ongoing Relationship
Another key verse on guidance appears in Romans.
“For all who are being led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.”
— Romans 8:14
Being led by the Spirit is not a one-time experience. It is an ongoing relationship.
Scripture describes believers as children who are led by the Spirit rather than performers trying to earn approval.
We are led as children, not driven as performers.
This is freeing, especially for believers who have been shaped by performance-driven faith.
The Spirit’s leadership is relational, not forced. We can respond to His guidance, grow in discernment, and learn over time to keep in step with the Spirit.
How the Holy Spirit Guides Us Through Wisdom and Revelation
Scripture also connects the guidance of the Holy Spirit with wisdom.
In Ephesians 1, Paul prays a beautiful prayer for believers:
“That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you a spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of Him.”
— Ephesians 1:17
Wisdom flows from knowing God.
The Holy Spirit gives wisdom and revelation as we grow in our knowledge of Him. Guidance is not simply about receiving instructions for decisions. It is about deepening our relationship with God.
Paul continues this prayer with an even more remarkable request. He asks that the eyes of our hearts be enlightened so that we can understand what God has already given to us.
- the hope of God’s calling
- the richness of what belongs to us in Christ
- the greatness of God’s power at work in those who believe
Paul asks the Spirit to open our eyes to the reality of what God has already done and what already belongs to us in Christ. This is part of how the Holy Spirit guides us. The Spirit’s work of wisdom and revelation does more than give us information. It opens our understanding to what is true.
And as our understanding deepens, something else grows as well.
Hope grows.
When the Spirit enlightens our hearts, we begin to recognize the hope of God’s calling, the richness of what we have received, and the power of God at work within us.
Guidance, then, is not primarily about finding perfect certainty.
It is about growing in our understanding of God and learning to trust Him more deeply over time.
What Does Holy Spirit Guidance Look Like in Everyday Life
The Spirit’s guidance often appears in quiet, practical ways.
It might look like:
- Scripture coming to mind and steadying your thoughts in moments of stress or confusion.
- Recognizing what is right in a confusing situation, not because of pressure but because clarity emerges.
- Becoming more secure in your identity as a child of God and learning to live from that identity.
- Hope returning as your understanding of God deepens in a difficult situation.
- Wisdom in conversations, trusting the Spirit to guide your words and responses.
- Conviction that reveals truth, helping you recognize sin or respond in a godly way.
- Insight while reading Scripture, when a verse seems to stand out and invite reflection.
- A wise or godly thought that comes to mind, prompting a next step aligned with truth.
When these moments lead you back to truth and hope, you are experiencing the guidance of the Holy Spirit.
The Spirit guides us into truth—and truth leads us into hope.
How Can We Practice Trusting the Holy Spirit’s Guidance?
Consider three simple ways to practice trusting the Spirit’s guidance.
- Begin with trust: Pause and acknowledge that the Spirit of truth is already at work guiding you.
- Return to what Scripture makes clear: Instead of replaying uncertainty, anchor your thoughts in God’s Word.
- Ask for open eyes over perfect solutions: Like Paul’s prayer in Ephesians, ask God to enlighten your heart so you can see the hope that is already yours in Christ.
When we trust the Holy Spirit to guide us into truth, something remarkable happens.
Our understanding deepens.
Our confidence grows.
Our hope becomes steadier.
Hope is not something we manufacture by solving every problem. It grows as we experience the Holy Spirit’s faithful guidance.
Because when the Holy Spirit guides us into truth, we begin to recognize the hope that is already ours in Christ.
A Prayer Guide for Seeking God’s Guidance
When you’re seeking God’s direction, prayer is the place to begin.
Download my Pray for God’s Guidance PDF—a simple resource to help you ask for wisdom, discernment, and clarity as you follow the Spirit’s leading.
Get your free copy and begin praying for God’s guidance today.
Related Content
- 5 Things You Need to Know About God’s Guidance
- 4 Powerful Ways to Peace in Decision Making
- What to do When You Long for God to Speak to You
- How to Scripture Journal: A Simple Rhythm for Everyday Quiet Time
- Seek God First: How to Order Your Life Around What Really Matters
- How to Find God’s Peace That Guards Your Heart: A Study of Philippians 4:7
How to Stop Letting Your Work Define Your Worth (A Biblical Perspective)
In a world that measures success through metrics, results, and productivity, it’s easy for our work to start defining our worth. When work begins to define your worth, it creates pressure that God never intended you to carry.
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We track numbers.
We measure progress.
We evaluate whether what we’re doing is making an impact.
And somewhere along the way, a subtle pressure creeps in—the pressure to prove ourselves.
We may not say it out loud, but the question begins to linger beneath the surface:
Am I doing enough?
For many of us, work quietly becomes a place where we look for validation, identity, and reassurance that we matter.
But Scripture offers a different order.
Not work before worth.
Worth before work.
Understanding that order changes everything about how we approach our calling, our productivity, and the results we’re striving to achieve. When we stop letting our work define our worth, we begin to experience the freedom Scripture offers.
When Does Work Begin to Define Your Worth?
Most of us don’t set out to tie our identity to our work. It happens gradually.
- A project succeeds and we feel valuable.
- A goal falls short and we feel discouraged.
- A season is productive and we feel confident.
- A season is slow and we start questioning ourselves.
Without realizing it, identity and productivity become intertwined.
Sometimes we begin asking our work to answer identity questions it was never meant to answer.
Work can express our gifts. It can reflect our calling. It can be a place of stewardship and service.
But it was never designed to tell us who we are.
When it does, every outcome becomes personal. Every result becomes a verdict on our value.
And that’s a burden God never intended us to carry.
Why Do We Feel Pressure to Prove Ourselves Through Work?
Most people don’t consciously decide to measure their worth by their work. The pressure builds slowly through cultural expectations and internal comparisons.
We live in a world that celebrates outcomes.
Productivity is praised.
Results are rewarded.
Visibility is often equated with value.
Over time, it becomes easy to assume that our work is what makes us valuable.
But Scripture points us back to a different foundation. Our worth is not earned through productivity. It is received through relationship with Christ.
When we forget that truth, work becomes exhausting. But when we remember it, work becomes an opportunity to serve from a place of security instead of striving for approval.
What Is the Difference Between Working For Your Worth and Working From It?
One of the easiest ways to recognize whether we’re working for our worth or from it is by listening to our internal language.
When our identity feels unsettled, our thoughts often sound like this:
“I have to make this work.”
“I have to prove myself.”
“I have to get results.”
But when our identity is rooted in Christ, something shifts. The language changes.
“I get to do this work.”
“I get to serve.”
“I get to steward what God has given me.”
“I have to” is the language of insecurity.
“I get to” is the language of identity.
This small shift reveals something deeper about what we believe.
Working for our worth means we’re trying to earn validation through what we produce.
Working from our worth means our identity is already settled, and our work becomes an expression of gratitude, stewardship, and calling.
The work itself may look the same. But the heart behind it is completely different.
Why Identity in Christ Changes the Way We Approach Work
One of the clearest examples of this order appears at the very beginning of Jesus’ public ministry.
In Matthew 3:17, at Jesus’ baptism, the Father declares: “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”
What’s striking about this moment is when it happens.
Jesus had not yet begun His ministry.
He had not performed miracles.
He had not preached sermons or gathered disciples.
Yet the Father speaks identity first.
Beloved before performance.
Worth before work.
This order matters.
Before the assignment comes the affirmation. Before the ministry comes the identity. And the same principle applies to us.
Our worth is not established by our productivity.
It is established by our relationship with Christ.
When we understand that, work stops being a place where we chase approval and becomes a place where we live out the identity we’ve already received.
Your work can express your worth, but it should never determine it.
What Changes When Our Identity Is Secure in Christ?
When our identity is secure, the entire posture of our work changes.
We still pursue excellence.
We still care about the work we’ve been given.
We still want to steward our gifts well.
But the pressure to prove ourselves begins to fade.
Instead of striving for validation, we begin working with freedom.
Failure becomes information rather than identity.
Success becomes gratitude rather than proof.
Faithfulness becomes the measure of a life well lived.
When identity is secure, work no longer carries the burden of defining who we are.
How Do We Trust God With the Results of Our Work?
Another place where we easily confuse worth and work is in how we think about results.
We assume outcomes belong to us.
If something succeeds, we take responsibility.
If something fails, we feel personally responsible.
But Scripture gives us a very different framework.
In 1 Corinthians 3:6, Paul writes: “I planted, Apollos watered, but God gave the increase.”
Paul understood something essential about stewardship.
Our role is participation.
God’s role is multiplication.
We plant.
We water.
God brings the growth.
Faithfulness is our role. Increase belongs to God.
When we confuse these roles, work becomes heavy. We start carrying responsibilities that were never meant to be ours. But when we return the increase to God, work becomes lighter.
We focus on what we’ve been asked to do and trust Him with what only He can accomplish.
Learning to trust God with the results of our work frees us to focus on faithfulness rather than outcomes.
How Do We Release the Results to God?
Jesus speaks directly to this burden in Matthew 11:28–30:
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
Notice that Jesus does not promise the absence of work. He promises a different way of carrying it. An easy yoke means we are working alongside Him rather than striving on our own.
Dallas Willard reflected on this idea in Living in Christ’s Presence: Final Words on Heaven and the Kingdom of God. (affiliate link) He described how we often carry the results of our work long after our part is finished.
To illustrate this, Willard used the example of bowling: When you roll a bowling ball down the lane, there is a moment when the ball leaves your hand. After that point, the outcome is no longer in your control.
You cannot run down the lane and steer the ball.
You cannot adjust it mid-roll.
Your role ended the moment you released it.
Yet spiritually, many of us continue trying to control the outcome long after our work is finished.
We replay conversations.
We analyze results.
We try to mentally steer what has already been released.
But faithful work requires a moment of release.
We do our part.
Then we let go.
Just like the bowling ball leaving your hand. Once the work has been offered, the outcome belongs to God.
When our worth is settled, excellence becomes worship. Instead of striving to prove ourselves, our work becomes something beautiful—an offering placed in God’s hands.
Returning to the Right Order
If you’ve ever felt the pressure to prove your value through what you produce, you’re not alone.
It’s one of the most common struggles for people who care deeply about their work.
But the gospel invites us back to a different order.
Worth before work.
- Before the productivity.
- Before the results.
- Before the outcomes.
Your identity is already secure in Christ.
And from that place of security, your work becomes something beautiful—an expression of calling rather than a test of your worth.
Write from your worth, not for it.
Frequently Asked Questions
What does it mean to work from your worth?
Working from your worth means your identity is rooted in Christ rather than in your productivity or results. Instead of trying to earn validation through what you accomplish, you approach your work as an expression of stewardship, gratitude, and calling.
How does the Bible connect identity and work?
Scripture consistently places identity before assignment. In Matthew 3:17, God declares Jesus beloved before His ministry begins. This pattern shows that our worth comes from our relationship with God, not from our performance.
Why do Christians struggle with performance and productivity?
Many Christians sincerely want to honor God with their work, but cultural messages about success and productivity can blur the line between faithfulness and performance. Without realizing it, we begin measuring our worth by our outcomes rather than by our identity in Christ.
What does “God gives the increase” mean in everyday life?
In 1 Corinthians 3:6, Paul explains that while people participate in the work—planting and watering—God is responsible for the growth. In everyday life, this means we focus on being faithful with what we’ve been given and trust God with the results.
How can I trust God with the results of my work?
Trusting God with results begins with recognizing the difference between stewardship and control. We pursue excellence and faithfulness in our work, but we release the outcomes to God, remembering that growth and impact ultimately belong to Him.
A Simple Next Step for Your Work
If this message about worth before work resonates with you, one of the most practical ways to live it out is by building small rhythms that help you stay rooted in truth.
That’s exactly why I created a free resource called:
15 Habits of Hope for Your Work
This guide will help you:
- Start your workday with the right perspective
• Release results to God instead of carrying the pressure
• Build rhythms that keep your identity anchored in Christ
These simple habits can reshape the way you approach your work, your calling, and even the expectations you place on yourself.
You can download it here:
[Download 15 Habits of Hope for Your Work]
And if you’d like to explore this topic further, listen to the Worth & Work Series where Larissa and I talk more about the difference between working for your worth and working from it.
Worth & Work Podcast Series
*As an Amazon Associate, I earn commission from qualifying purchases.
About Ginger Harrington
Ginger Harrington is an author, speaker, and host of the Habits of Hope Podcast, where she helps women cultivate daily rhythms that strengthen faith and deepen trust in God. With over 15 years of experience in Christian blogging, teaching, and women’s ministry, Ginger combines biblical insight with practical application to help readers grow spiritually in real-life seasons.
She is the author of Holy in the Moment and the creator of numerous devotional resources and spiritual growth tools designed to help women engage Scripture thoughtfully and live it faithfully. Through her writing, speaking, and podcasting, Ginger equips women to build habits of hope rooted in God’s Word.
How to Scripture Journal: A Simple Rhythm for Everyday Quiet Time
Learn how to scripture journal using a simple rhythm for everyday quiet time. Write Scripture, meditate, and respond to God—without pressure or perfection.
Have you ever opened your Bible, read a few verses, and then wondered, What do I do now?
That moment—when you want to meet with God, but your mind is racing and you’re not sure how to stay with the text—is more common than we admit. And it isn’t failure. It’s an invitation.
Scripture journaling is a simple way to slow down with God’s Word—by writing it, meditating on it, and responding to God in prayerful conversation.
It’s not a method to master or a system to follow. It’s a gentle rhythm that helps turn Bible reading into a real relationship.
What follows is a simple, approachable practice you can return to again and again—one that meets you where you are, no matter how much time you have or how long you’ve been walking with the Lord.
What We’ll Explore in This Post
Why scripture journaling is about relationship, not performance
A simple three-part rhythm you can use anytime
How writing Scripture helps you slow down and listen
What biblical meditation actually looks like
Practical ways to respond to God—without pressure
How to carry Scripture into your day
Gentle permission for real-life, imperfect quiet times
What Is Scripture Journaling—and What Is It Not?
Scripture journaling isn’t about filling pages or doing something impressive—although those things may happen.
It isn’t about getting it “right” or producing something meaningful to look at later.
Instead, scripture journaling helps us stay with the text—long enough to notice, listen, and remain present with God rather than rushing on. Writing, spacing words out on the page, or even lingering over a single phrase can become simple ways of giving Scripture our full attention.
We often approach Scripture for information—and that matters. But in our day-to-day devotional life, Scripture is also meant to be read for relationship, not just knowledge. God’s Word isn’t only something we study; it’s something we engage.
Scripture journaling helps turn Bible reading into a conversation, not a task.
Why Is Scripture Journaling About Relationship, Not Performance?
It’s easy to become task-oriented in our spiritual lives.
Read. Pray. Journal. Check the box.
But spiritual disciplines aren’t about doing for doing’s sake. They’re about what God does through them—how they create room for connection, attentiveness, and response.
Rather than measuring output, scripture journaling invites us to:
Connect with God
Receive from Him
Respond honestly
Allow the Holy Spirit to teach, guide, and comfort
This practice isn’t about producing something polished or proving our devotion.
God is not grading your journal.
He’s listening to your heart.
When this practice becomes part of your life, it becomes a habit of hope—a way of returning to God when life feels rushed or loud.
What Is the Simple Scripture Journaling Rhythm?
This rhythm is intentionally simple and repeatable:
Write Scripture.
Meditate on it.
Respond to God.
That’s it.
Scripture journaling isn’t about doing more.
It’s about slowing down enough to listen and respond.
How Do You Start by Writing Scripture?
Writing Scripture helps us stay with the text instead of rushing past it. Many of us want to read thoughtfully, but time pressure, distraction, or a busy mind can make it tempting to move too quickly. Writing gives us a way to pause and engage more fully.
You don’t have to write an entire chapter. Ask the Lord to show you one thing to pause on—a verse, a phrase, or even a single word. That small act of attention creates a place to begin listening.
Writing slows us down. It engages our attention in a different way and helps the words of Scripture settle more deeply. When we take the time to write, we often notice things we might otherwise skim past.
Often God speaks not through something new, but through something we finally notice.
Practical Ways to Write Scripture
Write the verse by hand—slowly, without rushing
Read the verse aloud, emphasizing a different word each time
Use visual cues—circling, underlining, spacing, or emphasis—to notice what stands out
These simple, tactile practices help us engage Scripture with both mind and body. This isn’t about reverence through rigidity or doing it the “right” way. God created us differently, and engaging Scripture in personal, attentive ways can be a meaningful gift
What Does Biblical Meditation Really Mean?
Biblical meditation is not about emptying your mind or trying to silence your thoughts.
It’s about gently focusing your attention on God’s Word—allowing Scripture to linger long enough to reflect on its meaning and notice what God may be highlighting.
Rather than analyzing everything or trying to uncover a perfect insight, biblical meditation invites us to stay with the text and listen. It creates space to pay attention—to what stands out, what stirs, and what invites a response.
At the same time, biblical meditation isn’t about making Scripture revolve around us. God’s Word has meaning and authority on its own. We aren’t reading to make the passage say whatever we want it to say. Instead, we come with openness—trusting that the Holy Spirit is active as we read and reflect.
As you meditate, you might ask simple, grounded questions:
What word or phrase is standing out to me today?
Why might this matter right now?
What does this reveal about God—His character, His heart, His ways?
What is being stirred in me—comfort, resistance, hope, conviction?
These questions aren’t meant to force meaning or produce quick answers. They help us remain attentive—listening for how God may be instructing, preparing, or inviting us to respond through His Word.
Biblical meditation is about staying open. Staying curious. Staying present.
Sometimes God uses Scripture to prepare us for something ahead. Other times, He uses it to speak into something we’re already walking through. This isn’t about centering ourselves—it’s about engaging with a living God who meets us through His Word.
When Scripture speaks directly into something we’re walking through, it builds our faith—because we begin to recognize that this isn’t a coincidence, but an invitation to trust God’s nearness and care.
Hope grows when Scripture moves beyond information and becomes a place of faithful, grounded conversation with God in real life.
How Do You Respond to God Through Scripture Journaling?
Relationships grow through communication—not one-way listening.
When we respond to God, we close the loop and turn Scripture into conversation rather than something we simply read and move on from.
Responding doesn’t have to look one particular way. It can take many forms, depending on the day, the season, and what God is doing in your heart.
Response might look like:
Silent reflection—simply sitting with God and letting the words sink in
Praise or gratitude for what you’ve noticed in Scripture
Honest prayer, including questions, struggle, or need
Writing thoughts, observations, or short bullet points
Asking God how He wants you to apply what you’ve read right now
If you don’t love journaling, bullet points are enough.
If you feel stuck, simply writing the verse and stopping is enough.
There have been seasons in my own life where my journal looked very different than it had in years past. As I reviewed it, I noticed that many days—maybe even most days—I had only written a Scripture verse and little else. At first, I found myself quietly grading that. Was I slacking? Was I not paying attention? Was God not speaking as much this year?
Instead of letting those questions turn into assumptions, I brought them to the Lord. I asked Him to show me what He was doing rather than jumping to conclusions about what I was doing wrong. What He showed me was both simple and freeing.
It had been a year filled with travel, activity, and much more doing than sitting. And rather than asking me to write more, God was inviting me to listen more—to give space for prayer, presence, and quiet attentiveness in ways that didn’t always show up on the page.
That moment reminded me of something important: the amount you write is not a measure of God’s nearness or your faithfulness. God is always speaking, and when we bring our questions and concerns to Him, we can trust Him to lead us in what we need most in each season.
Some days response is full.
Some days it’s quiet.
All of it counts.
Responding to God through Scripture journaling isn’t about producing something meaningful—it’s about remaining connected, attentive, and open to a living conversation with Him.
What If Scripture Journaling Feels Messy or Inconsistent?
Here’s some permission you might need:
Some days are a full page
Some days are one sentence
Some days are silence
This isn’t about perfection—it’s about faithfulness.
Messy journals are allowed. Honest prayers are welcome.
God meets us right where we are.
And sometimes, silence itself is part of listening.
Continue the Conversation
Scripture journaling doesn’t end when you close your Bible or your journal. One of the most meaningful parts of this practice is allowing what God highlighted to travel with you into the rest of your day.
Often, as we write, meditate, and respond, one word, phrase, or theme rises to the surface. That’s not something to rush past. Holding onto that one thing helps keep the conversation open and invites God’s Word to continue shaping us beyond our quiet time.
One helpful practice is intentionally choosing one word or theme God highlighted and finding a simple way to remember it.
Ways to help yourself remember:
Write a word or short phrase at the top of your journal page
Use a sticky note or index card
Place it somewhere you’ll naturally see it—your planner, to-do list, or workspace
This isn’t about testing your memory or trying harder to be “spiritual.” Remembering is about attentiveness. When we pause later in the day and recall what God impressed on us, it reopens the conversation. The Spirit may prompt us to pray again, reflect, or ask for help applying what we noticed earlier.
Sometimes it’s as simple as remembering a word during a conversation, a decision, or a moment of stress and quietly saying, Lord, help me live this out right now.
It’s hard to live out what we don’t remember—but when Scripture stays with us, it begins to shape how we love, how we respond, and how we pray. Carrying God’s Word with us helps move it from the page into our everyday lives, where faith is actually lived.
FAQ: Scripture Journaling
What if I don’t know what to write when scripture journaling?
Start by writing the verse. That alone is enough. You can also write one observation or ask God a simple question.
Is scripture journaling the same as Bible study?
No. Bible study focuses on understanding Scripture deeply. Scripture journaling focuses on relationship—listening and responding.
How long should scripture journaling take?
There’s no set time. Some days it’s minutes. Some days it’s longer. Faithfulness matters more than length.
Do I need to journal every day for it to count?
No. Scripture journaling isn’t about consistency as perfection—it’s about returning.
Try Scripture Journaling This Week
Scripture journaling isn’t about becoming better at quiet time.
It’s about becoming more attentive to the God who is already present.
When we slow down with God’s Word—when we write it, meditate on it, and respond—we’re building a rhythm of hope.
Listen to Episode 69, How to Scripture Journal, and download the simple one-page printable to help you begin. Don’t aim for perfect—just come back to the habit.
Scripture journaling doesn’t deepen when we rush ahead—it deepens when we stay long enough to listen.
The Spiritual Growth Pack: Simple Tools to Deepen Your Relationship with God
Tip sheets, prayers, and practical truths to help you listen, focus, pray, and grow in your walk with God—one small step at a time.
Download the Spiritual Growth Pack and begin strengthening your faith today.
Related Posts for Your Time with God
When You Long for God to Speak to You
Simple Ways to Meditate on God’s Word
8 Powerful Ways to Connect with God When He Is Silent
Ignite Your Faith with Simple Truths for Listening to God
Do You Struggle with Listening to God?
Moments to Pray, Listen, and Think Bring Us Closer to God
15 Simple Ways to Overcome Distraction to Focus Your Attention on God (with printable)
10 Benefits of Reviewing What We Learn from God
Simple Ways Silence Can Deepen Your Faith
Discover Six Important Truths About Listening to God
About Ginger Harrington
Ginger Harrington is an author, speaker, and host of the Habits of Hope Podcast, where she helps women cultivate daily rhythms that strengthen faith and deepen trust in God. With over 15 years of experience in Christian blogging, teaching, and women’s ministry, Ginger combines biblical insight with practical application to help readers grow spiritually in real-life seasons.
She is the author of Holy in the Moment and the creator of numerous devotional resources, guided journals, and spiritual growth tools designed to help women engage Scripture thoughtfully and live it faithfully. Through her writing, speaking, and podcasting, Ginger equips women to build habits of hope rooted in God’s Word.
How to Keep Hope Alive While Praying for a Prodigal Child
In this episode of the Habits of Hope podcast, I sat down with Monica Schmelter for a conversation that so many parents, grandparents, and loved ones need.
Monica is the host of the TV show Bridges (aired weekly on Christian Television Network in over 50 million homes, and streaming on Roku), and she also hosts the Hope for the Journeypodcast—which recently made a top 10 list for Christian women’s podcasts.
This topic is personal for Monica. She’s walked the road of loving a prodigal, asking hard questions, and learning what it looks like to keep trusting God while you wait.
Why is hope for the prodigal so personal to you?
Monica Schmelter:
Yes—like you said, I’m no stranger to that journey. My son is a prodigal, and we’ve had other prodigals in the family. So there’s been a lot of tears and a lot of prayer—and all the questions. Did I do something wrong? Did I not pray hard enough?
As moms, we’re looking at all the things. So it’s been a heartfelt journey. And it’s been one that I’ve learned so much about faith and prayer—that while I’m waiting, and regardless of how dark it might seem, to trust that God is always working.
What has helped when you’ve second-guessed yourself as a parent?
Monica Schmelter:
The enemy is not all-powerful, but he is relentless at tormenting us if we don’t have habits of hope. We really have to discipline our minds and our hearts to not linger in those kinds of places.
For me, one of the things the enemy—and my own flesh, because I allowed it—would bring back were times from the past when our son was growing up.
Even though I was a Christian and I loved Jesus and loved our son so much, I really struggled with anger and rage, and I would do a lot of yelling and screaming.
I didn’t yell or scream at our son, but he heard that, and I felt that the mistakes I had made had wounded him and damaged him. And the enemy would bring that time and time again, and I would think, Gosh, if I could take that back, I would.
Finally, I came to a place of being really honest with God:
Okay, I absolutely messed up in that area. And I poured that out before God. And I went to our son and I said, If you would forgive me, I realized that I set some bad examples. And I gave some specific things that I said.
He did tell me that he loved me and offered me that forgiveness.
I wrote down the date that I talked to God about that and the date that our son forgave me. Whenever those thoughts would come back, I would go back to those dates and I would say, We’ve taken care of this.
Trusting God with my mistakes:
I’ve learned that He’s more than enough to make up for my deficiencies, because no mom is perfect.
We all have moments.
I call mine “Monica meltdown moments.”
The enemy can bring those back to torment us.
I reminded myself that He makes up for those deficiencies. And I have the power of prayer on my side.
Rather than being all down in the mouth about real things that happened, I could commit myself to prayer.
That’s something practical and productive and spiritual—pray for your child and pray for God’s kindness to lead them to repentance.
What does it look like for you to pray for your prodigal?
Monica Schmelter:
One of my favorites is in the book of Peter where it’s God’s heart—where He says He’s not slack concerning His promises, because we look at it and it’s like, God, I’m waiting.
In God’s timetable, He’s not slack or slow in keeping His promises—He’s patient. He’s long-suffering because He wants none to perish.
Sometimes I would say things as simple as:
God, I’m just agreeing with You. You say that You wish that none would perish—and God, I pray that.
I want my son to come to faith in Christ. I want that love and commitment that used to be there to return—to be that fire shut up in his bones.
I also stand on the scripture that says we can be confident. . .
that if what we’re asking is His will, we can be confident that He hears us, and if He hears us, then He answers.
A mom of a prodigal—or anybody that’s praying for a prodigal—we can be confident that them coming to Christ or coming back to Christ is absolutely God’s will.
- I steep myself in those kinds of verses.
- I’m praying what God says.
- I’m agreeing with what God says.
- And it may take a long time for me to see that answered.
- It might not be answered in my lifetime.
But I do believe He’s faithful to His word and that He’s going to answer.
Praying Scripture and believing God’s promises helps combat discouragement and impatience in times of waiting.
What if I don’t know what to say when I pray—or I’m out of words?
Monica Schmelter:
People can get hung up on: What should I say when I pray? What does this look like? And you’re exactly right—sometimes it’s heavy-duty warfare prayer. Sometimes it’s bringing God into remembrance of His word—finding a verse and putting your child’s name in there and saying that prayer.
And there are times when, in my journey, I just don’t have any words and I just cry. And I know that He hears my heart because I’m out of words and I’m out of tears.
It’s our honesty before God and our faith in Him above and beyond what we’re going through.
The story of Monica’s prayer box
Monica Schmelter:
I came to Christ at 13. After hearing my pastor talk about praying for your family and they could be saved, I started writing my prayers. I put them in a Charlie perfume box.
There are literally hundreds and hundreds of names in here. At that time, my dad was an atheist, my mom didn’t know exactly what she believed, and my grandfather—my mom’s dad—was a Muslim.
I didn’t know how or what to pray. But you can see in my little girl teenage handwriting—I wrote some days in purple, some days in red, some days in green. I drew flowers, all those crazy things.
I want to encourage moms to not give up on prayer:
God brought every one of those people to Christ—every single one.
It took 25 years for my parents.
I don’t want it to take 25 years for anybody, but I will say this—regardless of how long it takes, it’s worth it.
It doesn’t have to look beautiful. You don’t have to be a Bible teacher or recite scripture perfectly.
The box is all torn up now. This little box is my most treasured possession, because it’s my heart.
That’s what prayer is. It’s sharing our heart with God and trusting Him in the wonderful things, the things we don’t understand, and the things where it seems like it’s taking forever.
How has God ministered to your heart in the middle of a hard season?
Monica Schmelter:
I can recall one very specific instance. Our son at that time was very far from the Lord, making decisions that concerned me.
I was at work. I went into the studio and I sat in a metal folding chair—and I remember the chair was really cold. It was cold in the studio. I bowed my head to pray.
And in that still small voice in my heart, I heard the Holy Spirit say, I see you.
That held me. It was like—okay, this has been forever, but God sees me. I needed to know that at that moment.
I think we all know that conceptually, but there are times life seems so hard and so bad that we need that reminder—that He sees us, and He hasn’t abandoned us on this journey. He’s with us.
I had that knowing that He was with me, and He was going to work somehow, some way—work all of that out.
How do you balance loving your prodigal with boundaries—especially with addiction or destructive behavior?
Monica Schmelter:
It has to be very painful when a prodigal is completely estranged from the family. If that’s the case and the child doesn’t want contact, we pray.
However, if that’s not the case—we can always love our children. Loving them and talking to them and enjoying their company is important.
We don’t have to make that contingent on their behavior. I’m not talking about letting your kids do something illegal in your house.
- You can be totally loving
- Go out and enjoy meals.
- Have them over.
- We can model the love of Christ.
We don’t have to make everything a sermon to them. If God opens the door, go through that door. But if not—love them right where they are, model that example of Christ loving us where we are.
Realize that even God respects our free will. There’s nothing we can do to make our prodigal’s heart change—only God can do that.
But we can do everything possible to build and sustain a good relationship so that when they do come to Christ, they can see how you love them unconditionally and you still kept that contact and celebrated their victories.
And I would say—every victory your prodigal has, every wonderful thing—celebrate that. Don’t always come back to what you know: They need to come back to the Lord. They do—but celebrate the good, and don’t lose all of that, because God’s working on the part that we can’t change.
The ache of dealing with addiction.
And I’m so glad you brought up addiction and tough love, because that is the case with a lot of parents of prodigals.
There are things you absolutely cannot allow in your home. There are boundaries you have to set.
- You cannot continue to give money.
- You cannot continue to do those things when there are substances, reckless behavior, that sort of thing.
- Pray for God to give you the grace to let go—but not give up.
- You can still continue on in prayer, but you’ve got to totally give that prodigal to the Lord.
Do not feel guilty for setting boundaries.
You have to—for your own good, for their good, for other family members’ good.
That’s painful. And I would encourage everybody—if you have a friend who is the mom or dad of a prodigal and they’ve had to set boundaries, don’t judge them. Don’t tell them all the things they need to do. It’s hard enough already.
If they ask for advice, by all means share your wisdom. Otherwise, pray—and just listen without judgment. If we’ve not walked that road, we don’t know.
Giving each other grace matters.
If I haven’t been down that road, I want to keep my heart open. This mom, this dad is suffering. They’ve had to make hard decisions—decisions that probably break their heart.
I don’t want to cause any more angst. I can just pray and be a friend.
What would you say to someone who feels like it’s too late—or they’ve failed?
Monica Schmelter:
As long as there’s breath and life, there’s hope. It’s never too late.
We’ve all made mistakes. Some are bigger mistakes than others. But He is more than enough to make up for our deficiencies.
It’s not like once we made those mistakes, God thought, Well, my plan of salvation for that one is totally gone and out the door. It’s not like that.
If we can recognize that those thoughts are not coming from God—they’re coming from the enemy and from our own flesh and fears—the things we know and remember.
If there’s something we need to repent about, by all means do that. But once we’ve done that, live in the joy of the Lord and the joy of your salvation—expectantly waiting, like the prodigal father did, watching for his son from a long ways away.
The story of the prodigal son…
- We don’t know a lot about that father, but we know he had to be concerned because he’s watching for the child’s return.
- We know he continued whatever his work and business was—because he still had food and servants. Life was continuing, and yet he was waiting.
- Those sound like two opposite messages, but they’re not. Life continues and we wait—and that happens together.
Never ever ever ever say it’s too late, because it’s not.
Nobody is too far gone.
The Bible says His arm is not short and His ear is not deaf.
I have a good friend who always says, God has more than a trillion ways to deliver your children.
If you’re in the waiting today—praying for someone you love, carrying questions, and trying to keep showing up—this conversation is a reminder that you’re not alone. And it’s a reminder that prayer doesn’t have to be perfect to be real.
If this episode encouraged you, I hope you’ll listen to the full conversation—and consider sharing it with someone who may need hope for the waiting too.
Connect with Monica
