To the One Who’s Forgotten She Matters: 10 Ways to Love Yourself

To the one who's forgotten she matters. A familiar thought invades: "It doesn't matter how much you do. It will never be enough." The leap from feeling a disappointment is as quick as the inhale of breath: "You don't matter. Your feelings don't count." How can loving ourselves squelch the lies that tell us we don't matter?To the one who has forgotten she matters.

The squawk of the clock radio jolts her awake. Everything in her jerks at the startling intrusion. Before  feet hit the floor, she’s already stressed. Truth is, she’s been scurrying from task to task, issue to issue for so long that she carries a constant tension in her shoulders.

Getting dressed, her mind flips past the appointments and projects, landing with a thunk on a recent conflict that weighs heavy on her heart. A familiar thought interrupts:  It doesn’t matter how much you do. It will never be enough. 

The leap from feeling a disappointment is as quick as the inhale of  breath: You don’t matter. Your feelings don’t count.

Caught in the fray of expectations, responsibilities, conflicts and the craziness of life, it’s all too easy to agree with the great lie that echoes in her thoughts: You don’t matter.

I’ve had days where I am this woman, and maybe you have too.

Remembering you matter.

Receiving God’s love enables us to embrace our value. It empowers us to love God, self, and others well. When we forget that we matter, we neglect to love ourselves in ways that refresh the soul. Here’s the truth: you matter and caring for your soul matters.

When did we start needing permission to love, accept, and take care of ourselves? Why is it so hard to grab hold of the truth that it’s okay to love ourselves?

Jesus reminds us: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:31

We can’t separate loving God from loving others and loving ourselves. Love was never meant to be divided up and handed out in portions to those who deserve it. In Christ, love is who we are and what we have to give.

 

Because God loves you, it’s okay to love yourself.

Love your neighbor as yourself. Consider the layers of meaning in this phrase.

  1. As–in reference to time– While you love others, love your self. While you love yourself, love others.
  2. As–a comparison. Love others the way you love yourself. Love yourself the way you love others.

Is it possible that we can’t love others well when we won’t love ourselves? 

Why loving yourself is a God-filled grace.

This is a tricky line, but we ask God to help us fully understand and live out these two great commands. Loving self is of the spirit; self-love is of the flesh.

What’s the difference? Motivation and source.

Rather than rules weigh us down, these words are given to lighten our load. The Bible shows us how to live well with God, self, and others. Loving ourselves is spirit work that rests secure in the love of God. Self-love is the flesh’s drive to get our needs met by our own efforts.

To the one who's forgotten she matters. A familiar thought invades: "It doesn't matter how much you do. It will never be enough." The leap from feeling a disappointment is as quick as the inhale of breath: "You don't matter. Your feelings don't count." How can loving ourselves squelch the lies that tell us we don't matter?

You Matter: 10 ways to love  yourself and care for your soul.

Believe that you matter. You have value and worth. Don’t swallow the lies and rejection of others that can make you feel worthless. These words aren’t from God and they are not true (1 Corinthians 6:20, 2 Corinthians 5:21, 1 Thessalonians 1:4)

 

Agree with what God says about you in His Word. Agreeing is faith in action. When you agree with God, there’s no room for the enemy to enter the conversation (Psalm 139:14, Jeremiah 31:3, John 4:19).

 

Intentionally receive God’s love. Hold out your hands and your heart and actually say it, “Lord, I receive your love. Thank you!” (Ephesians 3:16-19, John 3:16, John 1:16).

 

Rely on Christ for your needs. (Phil 4:19) When we trust Christ to meet our needs, we can stop trying so hard to get love, acceptance, security, value, and worth by our own efforts and coping skills. Freedom to love yourself in a godly way is  found by living in the Spirit not working in the flesh.

 

Accept yourself. You are loved and accepted by God. When you believe this, you will be free to accept yourself. You cannot love what you refuse to accept (Psalm 139).

 

Embrace the truth of God’s Word. Scripture is filled with truths to set you free to live and love with joy and freedom (John 8:32).

 

Speak truth to yourself. Stop repeating the old messages and lies–the I can’ts, I’ll never’s, I should’s, and I’m not’s. Stop keeping records of your mistakes and sins. God isn’t counting, why should you? (Psalm 103:12, 1 Corinthians 13:5).

 

Trust God with your imperfections and insecurities. He’s promised to bring you to completion. Trust Him to finish what He’s started (1 Thess. 5:23-24, Philippians 1:6).

 

Care for yourself: body, mind, and soul. You take care of others. It’s time to put yourself on the list (1 Corinthians 6:19).

 

Rest and honor the Sabbath—rest is a physical need and a holy command. (Exodus 33:14, Psalm 37:7, Psalm 23:2-3).

To the one who's forgotten she matters: "You're already amazingbecause you're God's creation and he lives in you...You're worth investing in because he paid the ultimate price for you. Dare to take the risk. Love yourself because he loves you." Holley Gerth

It’s okay to care for yourself.

These are just a few ways to show love and grace to yourself. Secure in God’s love, you are free to love God, others, and yourself. Caring for yourself, enables you to have more to give others for you are not constantly running on empty.

So today, I write to the one who is weary of all the trying. I speak to one who labors under the weight of self-condemnation. I whisper words of permission to the one who has forgotten she matters.

God loves you and it’s okay.

It’s okay to love yourself.

It’s good to love yourself.

Loving yourself is a necessary grace.

What’s one way you show love to yourself?

Don’t miss the other posts in this series:

It’s Okay to Love Yourself

5 Godly Ways to Care for Your Soul

Take action with this free ebook when you sign up for my newsletter.

Got time to watch this video? You’ll be glad you did. This video encourages me every time I watch it.

Related posts to enjoy:

Soul Search: Why Are You so Hard on Yourself?

Soul Questions: Do You Like You?

Soul Comfort: You Are Loved

Linking with other fabulous bloggers: #MondayMinuteForGod, Glimpses, #RaRaLinkUp, Coffee for Your Heart.

16 Comments

  1. This is so encouraging. I will be sharing this on my blog FB page. Thank you so much for the reminder of my worth! I can relate with the very first part of this – stressed before my feet hit the floor and the tension always on my shoulders. Visiting from #PlantingRoots!

    • Ginger Harrington

      Welcome, Elaine! So great to connect with you via #Monday Minute with God at PlantingRoots.net! I’m glad you found encouragement in these words. Thank you for sharing on your Facebook page. Which of these 10 ways most speaks to you?

  2. Hi! Ginger, Great reminders! For years I have taken care of everyone else but myself, and as a result, I am reaping the consequences. I have recently learned that self-care isn’t selfish, unfortunately, I had to learn it the hard way. I especially love your point about rest and honoring the Sabbath!!

    • Ginger Harrington

      Misty, you bring up a point I didn’t address in this post: the consequences of not caring for ourselves. I too am reaping consequences of neglecting needs in favor of so many other things. There are times when we put others first and times when we love ourselves, attending to our needs. Doing so, enables us to love others better.

  3. I struggle with the “caring for myself” part. I’m constantly putting others first. Thank you for sharing!

    • Ginger Harrington

      Hi Barbie. It’s a hard line to see–when to care for self and when to care for others. This is an area where we must depend on Christ to guide us!

  4. Thank you for this Ginger! There is a small group of us participating in an online health focused challenge during Lent and I’ve shared this link in the group. You so elegantly express the message that is in my heart.

    • Ginger Harrington

      How good God is to give us the privilege to encourage one another! I’m grateful the words God gives me are a blessing to you. Thank you for sharing with your challenge group!

  5. Love this:! Loving self is of the spirit; self-love is of the flesh. Ginger, so many of us do not love ourselves even when we think we do..the world has brainwashed us to believe we are not enough, and it is only by abiding in God, being branches on the vine, that we realize we are one with God, loved, and cherished. Such an important reminder of the validity of this command to love ourselves..it is truly the only way we can love our neighbor! Visiting from #raralinkup today nextdoor..blessings!

    • Ginger Harrington

      Kathy, love seeing you in the comments again. I’m really enjoying your blog. Great thoughts on this topic. You’ve added something special to this conversation. Blessings back at ya!

  6. Love this Ginger!! As women, I think this is one of the most difficult things. The tidbits you share are great! Love your heart!

    • Ginger Harrington

      Great to have you join the conversation today, Kori! You bless my socks off! What a gift to work with you.

  7. Oh, these words are needing to soak into my soul. They seem to be foreign far too often, yet I want…desire…need to allow God to remind me of just Whose I am. Thank you so much for sharing these words.

    • Ginger Harrington

      We all need some soul soaking on this topic. Something about writing about loving yourself feels almost sacrilegious–this topic hangs like a stretched-out-of-shaped sweater that doesn’t fit. I’m glad God has encouraged your heart today.

  8. Thanks for the reminders. What encouragement we need to write on our hearts and remember every day.

    • Ginger Harrington

      So true. I definitely need these reminders. Psst….that’s why I write about them. Thanks so much for visiting today, Theresa!

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