Are You Well-Dressed For Friendship?
I’m excited to share that this post has been selected as a featured post at Grace and Truth.
Little girls love to dress up. When my daughter was four, a pink tutu was her favorite outfit for everything–dancing in ballet class, playing in the yard, or running errands with mom. And what better outfit to wear to a play date with friends?
Dressing for the occasion isn’t quite so simple anymore. Don’t you hate those moments when you stand at your closet door, debating what to wear? You put on one outfit and it doesn’t feel right for the moment…too dressy. Another is too casual. Wouldn’t it be great just to get out the pink tutu?
![564832_10151126445164482_891235351_n[1]](https://b2071576.smushcdn.com/2.0/2071576/wp-content/uploads/2015/05/564832_10151126445164482_891235351_n1.jpg?lossy=1&strip=1&webp=1)
We might be too grown up to wear a pink tutu, but we never outgrow the joy of friendship. [tweetthis]It doesn’t matter whether a girl is 4 or 40, friendship is an important part of life.[/tweetthis]
Say yes to the dress,
here is what good friends wear:
So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, PUT ON a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity. Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body; and be thankful.–Colossians 3:12-15
[tweetthis]Godly character traits will never go out of style and they are always the right attire for every relationship.[/tweetthis] These qualities will enhance every relationship and they are God’s gifts. As we live in the fulness of our identity in Christ, the insecurity of our souls settles into the confidence that we are chosen, holy, and beloved by God. Getting dressed in the Spirit’s qualities comes down to choosing to rely on what God has given us–His ability to be compassionate, kind, humble, and gentle…
We can give because we’ve received.
We can love because we’ve been loved.
We can forgive because we’ve been forgiven.
When we put on the qualities of the Spirit, we are free to enjoy our friendships with open hearts. [tweetthis]Confident and loved in Christ, we don’t need to draw love and acceptance from others. [/tweetthis]Choosing to put on humility, we don’t have to be the center of attention or prove ourselves to others.
Receiving the fullness of God’s Spirit, our needs for love, acceptance, worth, security, and value are met. If we remember this truth, we are free to relate to friends without any ulterior motive of getting our needs met.
When we are fully dressed for friendship, we can focus on giving to others and trust God to meet our needs. tweetthis]Make a simple choice to put on God’s qualities as you get dressed each day.[/tweetthis] Let the practical action of putting on your clothes remind you to prayerfully put on the Spirit. Just as you wouldn’t go to work without your shoes, you should never leave the house without the love of God.
Wearing the qualities of Christ, you will be well-dressed for every occasion!
Other qualities in this passage that build strong friendships:
- Humility
- Gentleness
- Patience
- Love
- Unity
- Peace
Is there an attribute of the Spirit that is missing from your relational wardrobe?
Simple and Do-Able Ways to Beat Selfishness Today
What does the Bible say about selfishness? Selfishness impacts our relationships with others. Selflessness is the antonym of selfishness that helps us to think of others. Overcome the signs of selfishness with practical tips to be a better person.
What does the Bible say about Selfishness?
Selfishness can be an uncomfortable topic, right? We want to think we are better than the pettiness of selfish actions and attitudes. “I’m not selfish!”–this is my first defensive response. What I’m really feeling is “I don’t want to be that person, the one who is selfish.”
Yesterday I realized things I was upset about really came down to…being too caught up in my own interests. Busted! Catching myself being selfish, I spent time reflecting on what the Bible says about selfishness.
Philippians 2:1-8 features a helpful passage to overcome selfishness.
This passage can inspire us to build the holy habit of caring for others.There is a striking contrast in the progression of verses in this passage. It’s kind of Humble sandwich:
Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose.
Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves;
do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others.
Nothing?
Do nothing from selfish motives or self-conceit. Nothing? Oh, this is hard! Self-focus is the natural default setting of our sin nature. If we could see a print out of our motivations over the last week, we’d be shocked at how pervasive selfishness is in our thinking.
When we look at the entire passage, we learn more about what the Bible says about selfishness by the contrast of the example the selflessness of Jesus.
Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross. (Philippians 2:1-8).
These challenging words on selfishness are sandwiched between a description of how the body of Christ should be acting and how Christ showed true humility. Selflessness is the antonym of selfishness, but it can be hard to put others first. Loving encouragement, compassion, and Spirit-led affection are the result of looking out for one another.
Selfishness harms relationships but selflessness makes us a better person and a better friend. Share on X
Caring about the interests of others and sharing their concerns creates unity and bonds of friendship.
The humility of Christ is a stark contrast to the self-focus that lurks in our hearts. He emptied Himself of divine glory and did not insist that He be treated according to His right. Sacrificing Himself for our benefit is the extreme act of looking out for the interests of others. Love grows when we let go of our own interests and we care for others.
Another passage to overcome selfishness is Romans 12:10-16.
Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor, not lagging behind in diligence, fervent in spirit, serving the Lord; rejoicing in hope, persevering in tribulation, devoted to prayer, contributing to the needs of the saints, practicing hospitality. Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep. Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation. -Romans 12:10-16 NASB
I think of this passage as a course in anti-selfishness, powerful ways of practicing the needed art of selflessness. Giving preference to others, honoring and caring for the people around us is both good for our soul and for our relationships!
10 Do-Able Ways Overcome Selfishness:
- Pay attention to what others are excited about.
- Be a cheerleader. See the best in others, especially when they can’t.
- Follow through with commitments to others.
- Be thankful for the people God places in your life. Gratitude chases selfishness away.
- Be intentional. Don’t let busyness crowd out the needs of others.
- Share the load and lend a helping hand.
- Give the grace-gift of belonging and welcome new friends. Be inclusive rather than exclusive in relationships.
- Make a habit of giving thoughtful gifts and notes of encouragement.
- Don’t compare or compete. Celebrate the victories of others rather than be envious.
- Accept others as they are; nobody is perfect…including you.
When we practice putting others first and caring for their concerns, we will build deeper relationships. We will also grow deeper spiritually as we overcome the tendency of our flesh to make everything about us. Is this challenging? Yes! But when ask for the help of the Holy Spirit and we work on these do-able practices, we will reap the blessing of personal, relational, and spiritual growth!
Which one of these tips do you most need to practice today?
Become your best self with more practical truths and tips for godly living!
Check out my book, Holy in the Moment, for simple ways to grow deeper in your relationship with God, spiritual practices, emotions and thoughts, attitudes, relationships with others, and work. Get the book here or check out my free chapter, discussion guide, printable graphics, and bookmark on my book page.
Want to incorporate other practical and holy habits in your life?
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This is an update of a post that originally appeared on Five Minutes for Faith in 2013. This post contains affiliate links at no cost to you. When you use my link to buy my book, I receive a small commission that helps to pay for the cost of this site.
The Simple Truth About Going to the Deep With Jesus
“And Jesus said to Simon, “Do not fear, from now on you will be catching men.” When they had brought their boats to land, they left everything and followed Him.”–Luke 5:10b-11 As Jesus reveals His deity to the fishermen their...
It’s Simply Not About the Fish or the Work
Recently we’ve been filling our nets with wisdom from the story of Jesus calling Simon found in Luke 5:1-11. This post follows Simple Encouragement When Work Fails and Courage to Simply Try Again When Work Fails.
This story is about far more than the work.
And it’s not just about the fish. Not really.
“He said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” Simon answered and said, “Master, we worked hard all night and caught nothing, but I will do as You say and let down the nets.” When they had done this, they enclosed a great quantity of fish, and their nets began to break; so they signaled to their partners in the other boat for them to come and help them. And they came and filled both of the boats, so that they began to sink.“–Luke 5:4-7
Blessings to share.
[tweetthis]When Jesus does deep work in our lives, the blessing overflows into the lives of other people. [/tweetthis]Very rarely is it just about us. Christ has been directing this entire encounter, which fills the boats of Simon and his partners.
So many times I have read this familiar story, focusing on the work and the fish. I have often approached this story from the perspective of God’s provision and ability.
It’s easy to get enamored with the big catch. I’ve done that. I’ve asked God to enter my boat and I’ve trusted Him for results with work that seems fruitless. When I’ve come up with nothing, I’ve asked for Him to fill my nets. And I squint into the sun, scanning the empty horizon for the fish to come.
More than Fish
The fish are a big part of the story, just as prayers we pray, work we do, and dreams we dream are a big part of our story.
[tweetthis]It’s easy to leave it at the big catch, longing for the big win, the big answer.[/tweetthis]
But there’s more to it than that. So very much more.
Jesus enters into our needs and frustrations. He involves Himself in our daily work, he meets our needs and empowers our victories. However, when Jesus takes us into the deeps, it is not just about the fish.
Better Than Answers
When Jesus speaks the power of His word into our need, it is not just about the answer. The catch itself wasn’t nearly as important as what it showed these fishermen about Jesus.
“But when Simon Peter saw that, he fell down at Jesus’ feet, saying, “Go away from me Lord, for I am a sinful man!” For amazement had seized him and all his companions because of the catch of fish which they had taken; and so also were James and John, sons of Zebedee, who were partners with Simon.”--Luke 5:8-10a
Jesus gives these humble men a revelation of his power and ability through doing something extraordinary in the middle of their ordinary. Right in the middle of the struggle.
Face to face with Christ, Simon experiences a more powerful understanding of who Christ is. The big catch makes it clear that they are standing in the presence of God.
- When we’ve been to the deeps with Jesus, we learn more of who he is.
- We also become more aware of our sin.
- The deeper, revealed truths of God help us to see the hidden needs in ourselves.
- They expand our faith, convict our sin, and humble our hearts.
So it’s not really about just the fish or the work, is it?
Reading this morning, I came across this post by Kellie Balarie of Purposeful Faith. If you are fighting discouragement today, be blessed with encouragement by her words in “Time to Give Up.”
What speaks to your heart most in this post today?
Find Courage to Try Again When Work Fails
When He had finished speaking, He said to Simon, “Put out into the deep water and let down your nets for a catch.”–Luke 5:4
All of a sudden, this encounter becomes very personal as Jesus gives an instruction that seems to rub raw on a sore spot. Sometimes Christ asks us to go back to that place of failure or the work that seems fruitless. Sometimes Jesus tells us to try again.
[tweetthis]Some fish will not be caught in the shallows and some lessons cannot be learned in the easy victories of life.[/tweetthis]
Some blessings only come in the deep waters after our own efforts and resources have failed.
How well I know this casting my time, heart, and work into nets that appear to come up empty. You probably do to. It takes grit and courage to resist the inner-current that compels us to give up.
…………………………
At times it may seem that God is unaware of our struggle.
Doesn’t he know what I’ve already been through, may have been the thought in Simon’s mind. Although it may seem Jesus is unaware of his struggle, Jesus chooses this particular time of frustration to teach a life-changing lesson.
The deeper work of God is often accomplished after we realize our efforts have come to nothing and our trusted strategies have not worked.
Could it be that God is simply waiting for us to realize that working in our own efforts will never bring the catch that God desires to give?
…………………………
Simon answered and said, “Master, we worked hard all night and caught nothing…”
At this point, Simon has no idea of the magnitude of what Christ is getting ready to do. He has no concept of the astounding blessing that waits at the end of his simple obedience and his courage to try again. Simon may have thought something like this, Maybe he knows something I don’t. Maybe we will catch a few fish.
It’s hard to envision a big catch when all we can see is that nothing is happening.
Too often our vision is too small.
…………………………
Simple courage to try again.
“But I will do as You say and let down the nets.”
Simon could have refused or made excuses, “I’ve already cleaned my nets.” Was it a risk to try again? Did it take courage to try again even while the exhaustion of the empty net hangs heavy in his body?
Think about what would he have missed without this simple obedience. Questions, rebuttals, and excuses echo in his mind, but Simon responds with faith to obey and courage to try again.
The word for let down means to loosen or relax. Simon had to loosen his grip on his emotions and assumptions in order to take Jesus at His word.
Recently I was tempted to let the lack of bringing in a catch discourage me from casting my nets again. Round and round my thoughts went with reasonings, deliberations, and excuses. It would be so much easier to clean my nets, put everything away, and head home.
Something inside wouldn’t let me do it. I sensed that Christ was prompting me to simply have the courage to try again, without worrying about the results.
Don’t let failure or lack of progress keep you from trying again.
“The worst excuse for not doing what God wants you to do is past failure.”–David Guzik
…………………………
“When they had done this, they enclosed a great quantity of fish, and their nets began to break…”
Obedience can open the door for blessings beyond what we can imagine. When Jesus directs our work, He can show us where the fish are located. At times, He works that way, for He knows what fish He is after and He knows where to catch them.
[tweetthis]Our nothing can become a big something when Jesus is in it.[/tweetthis]
Don’t miss the previous, related post Simple Encouragement When Work Fails.
What truth from this passage hits home for you today?
Simple Encouragement When Work Fails
Right in the middle of a long, hard day…
Tired and discouraged, a man wipes the sweat from his brow. It’s been a day of frustration and the hard work of doing the same mundane task over and over. Today there is nothing to show for it.
How do we find simple encouragement when our work fails?
Now it happened that while the crowd was pressing around Him and listening to the word of God, He was standing by the lake of Gennesaret; and He saw two boats lying at the edge of the lake; but the fishermen had gotten out of them and were washing their nets. Luke 5:1-2
Empty-handed.
How do we find encouragement when we’ve worked hard and our nets are empty?
We’ve all had a day like this. Maybe your whole week has been like this and you’re tired of it. Sometimes the weariness goes deeper when you’ve cast months or years of effort into something, hoping to pull in the catch of your dreams.
At the end of the day are you muttering, “All this work for nothing? What’s the point?”
- It’s easy to get discouraged when hard work seems to have no result.
Empty-handed, Simon has nothing to show for his labor. Jesus approaches right in the midst of his weariness. Coming closer, Jesus gets into his boat, choosing the exact moment to enter into Simon’s situation.
[tweetthis]Jesus is with us in our hard moments.[/tweetthis]
And He got into one of the boats, which was Simon’s, and asked him to put out a little way from the land. And He sat down and began teaching the people from the boat. Luke 5:3
It’s no accident that Jesus gets into Simon ‘s boat, and it is never a coincidence when Jesus works in the middle of our circumstances as well. He is in it with us–He’s in our boat in the middle of our failures and our weariness. He is present in our challenges and in the nitty-gritty efforts of daily work.
Willingly, Simon makes his resources available, giving Christ the use of his boat.
- Jesus wants to use our resources to accomplish His work.
- We can never give more to Jesus than He will give to us (David Guzik).
At first, Simon is merely a vehicle for what Jesus is doing–there doesn’t appear to be any personal meaning in the interaction. Notice that Jesus involves Simon in what He is doing, even in this simple act of service. Let’s face it, rowing a boat is not glamorous work.
[tweetthis]Powerful lessons and opportunities come in the disguise of our mundane, simple tasks.[/tweetthis]
How do we enter into the truth of this story that happened so long ago? Where is the overlap between empty nets and the work in our own lives?
What truth is here for you today?
Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men… Colossians 2:23
The Lord is near to all who call upon Him, To all who call upon Him in truth. Psalm 145:18
And besides You, I desire nothing on earth.
My flesh and my heart may fail,
But God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.
But as for me, the nearness of God is my good… Psalm 73:25-26, 28
More than a story.
Take a few moments and allow the Holy Spirit to show you the truth that can fill your empty net today. Invite Christ into your work, your family, your life, and especially into your failures. [tweetthis]What does it look like when Jesus gets into the boat with you in a sea that offers no fish?[/tweetthis]
Do You Feel Far Away From God?
It is a delight to have the opportunity to write for various websites. Here’s an excerpt from a recent post at 5 Minutes for Faith. Won’t you join me for the rest of the article? Great! See you there:)
Soul, do you feel far way from God?
Do you know the comfort of God’s presence when days are hard or do feel He has left you on your own?
Do you know the healing of His touch or do you feel brittle with a thousand cracks from wounds that never seem to heal?
[tweetthis]What we think about God has everything to do with how we relate to Him.[/tweetthis]
For the child of God, He is always constant within. We often forget this, relying on feelings rather than faith. Strong emotions can reveal what we are really believing in the moment. They can uncover the fact that we are not truly relying on Christ as our source for life, value, and security.
Full and complete, God has no need or lack. He doesn’t enter into relationship with us with any ulterior motive or manipulation. Sometimes we think God responds like we do.
“For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways And My thoughts than your thoughts.
–Isaiah 55:9
He is for us with a fierce love. He holds nothing back, not even His Son. Inviting us into His strong embrace with the breath of life, He gives energy to all that we do–simply that we might know Him as our true source of life.
For in Him we live and move and have our being–Acts 17:28.
[tweetthis]Strong emotions can reveal what we are really believing in the moment.[/tweetthis]
Read the full article at 5 Minutes for Faith.
Have you discovered the lovely communities of bloggers through these link ups? Grace and Truth and Faith and Fellowship
Family Traditions Create Special Memories
When I was a little girl, Easter was all about the bunny.
And the basket.
And the dress. Oh yes, the dress!
The special Easter dress was family tradition that we looked forward to. As a child, I loved the pretty dress that often matched my sister. Some years we even had Easter bonnets–the frilly white kind.
In our white patent leather shoes and lacy socks, we loved the thrill of hunting for Easter eggs, colorful and filled with sweet treasures.
I have many special Easter memories stored away in my heart. Years of traditions shared with family. What a treasure these old photos are.
As I have grown older, I still love the sharing holiday traditions with my family. What joy to plan egg hunts and make Easter baskets for my own children.
My mom saved those many of the Easter dresses my sister and I wore, and what sweet moments for my own girls to wear them.
You will notice that I did not make them wear the bonnets…mom saved those too.
Over the years the generations change as the crawling babies grow into teenagers and the young parents become grandparents. Easter is still one of the few times we gather as extended family, and it is precious.
As a military family, we have not always lived close enough to spend Easter with family, which makes the memories all the more special.
[tweetthis]Family traditions bring generations together, creating strong bonds and family stories. [/tweetthis]
Whether it is Easter dresses, decorating and hunting for eggs, playing games, making crafts, or baking special recipes, take time to create family traditions. It’s never too late to start!
Through the years traditions will change with the ages and interests of the children, but always the best tradition is to celebrate life and love together as a family!
This year, all of my kids will be joining us for Easter. The college crowd is making the time to come, which is a challenge as they don’t have time off for Easter.
The lure of fun times with aunts, uncles, and cousins beckons as they realize the years are passing and time with the older generation is not to be taken for granted.
[tweetthis]Love is the glue of family traditions that brings generations together and creates love for a lifetime.[/tweetthis]
Here are a few websites that have great ideas for Easter activities with kids. Enjoy your traditions and add a little something new.
101 Easter Activities for Kids
A Collection of the Best Cross Activities
12 Not-So-Traditional Easter Hunts
The Kids are Growing Up
Kids go through phases and stages that you think will never pass. Most of the time they are fairly small behaviors that worry you like crazy as you pull your hair out and wonder if they will ever outgrow it.
At three, you worry they will never be potty-trained. At six, you worry that they will never learn to write legibly…(well, somethings they might not quite grow out of. ) At thirteen, you worry that they will never learn to keep up with their stuff as you make yet another trip to school to drop of a forgotten major project.
Before you know it, high school graduation arrives and you cry bucket of tears as Pomp and Circumstance echoes in your head.
Some how…some way, they grow up. All of the worries, questions, prayers, and sleepless nights somehow by the grace of God and a good measure of parental sweat silently roll into the future and your teenager enters adulthood, ready to step into a wider world with new challenges and joys to experience as one more graduation day approaches.
Recently both our college kids were home for spring break. For one, college graduation is quickly approaching and there are plans to be made. I happened to ask, “Hey have you ordered a cap and gown?”
“A what?”
Oops. They grow up…but do they? He’ll have fun scrounging one up.
It seems like a few hours ago I was writing about his graduation from high school. Seriously.
We took a few pictures for his graduation announcement–score! Getting this guy in a photo is a rare moment these days, so I’m keeping these for sure!
After graduation, this fellow will be returning to the Northwest to work as a behavior specialist at a camp that serves children with severe, life-altering medical conditions. He shares, “Last summer, working at camp transformed me completely, and I’m looking forward to another summer spent sharing camp’s message of irrepressible hope to our amazing campers.”
From there, he will be headed to the Southwest for a year of service with AmeriCorps. This has been a post-graduation dream for some time now, and he is thrilled to have been selected for this group of civic-minded young leaders.
I can’t wait to hear about his adventures and all that God teaches him in the process. So proud of this young man with a huge heart and a desire to serve!
We had more plans to make as one of our girls is gearing up to take 6 months off from college to do a YWAM discipleship training school (Youth With a Mission). She’s so excited she can hardly hold herself in!
She will be training and serving in missions outreach to remote international communities. Here’s a few words as she shares little bit of her joy:
YWAM is a combination of missionary training by learning more about our God’s character, love, and purpose, as well as going out and sharing that with others. During the outreach phase we will be going out and reaching remote, indigenous communities. The last 6 weeks, we will be traveling to a second country that will be decided as the Lord reveals it to our team through prayer.
I am continually surprised and in awe by God’s faithfulness in providing opportunities for me to serve and love others. He calls us to make disciples of the nations, and he has so faithfully opened doors for this trip. I am completely trusting God with this trip because through Him, ALL things are possible (Matt. 19:26).
If you would like to support her with your prayers, she asks that you would praying for:
–open hearts for what God has for our team and the people we interact with
-eyes to see opportunities to share His love and hope with others
-unity/oneness of spirit for our team
-complete reliance in God through fundraising for this trip for the entire team
-safe travels, protection, and rest for us
If you would be interested in supporting this work, please send me a message using the contact box on this website.
Both of these kids believe that every human is important. They long to do bigger things and are trusting God that dreams do come true. I am in absolute awe of what God is doing in the lives of these two young people. Absolute awe. Words completely fail me. The kids are indeed growing up!
With joy,
Ginger