16 Ways to Love People Better
Focus on the power of love with 16 ways to love people better based on Bible verses on love to inspire your heart, especially on Valentine’s Day. As February 14 approaches, maybe you’re thinking about how to show a little extra Valentine’s-Day-Love to those special people in your life–husbands, kids, parents, and friends.
Flowers, candy, cards, and teddy bears–who doesn’t enjoy these fun ways to show love to your Valentine?
It’s the love expressed by the gift that matters.
Love holds the power to create joy, heal hearts, inspire laughter, and strengthen relationships.
We all need to know that we are loved. However, God’s Word makes it clear that loving others is a big deal.
Love is not all about me.
When our focus is on ourselves, we’re all about getting our need for love met in just the way we like it. It is the love of Christ that frees us from the “what’s-in-it-for-me” mindset in our relationships. We don’t like to admit it, but we all struggle this self-oriented thinking at least some of the time.
16 Powerful Ways to Love
The powerful love is best described in 1 Corinthians 13. Consider these 16 ways to love others better. They give us beautiful examples of ways to show love that make a difference. I’ve written these Bible verses on love as a list.
None of these ways to show love comes naturally. Patience is rarely easy and kindness is too often simply a good intention when tempers flair or words hurt. When this happens, it takes work and intention to love people better. Fortunately, we have both the example and the presence of Christ to teach us God’s way of showing love.
The word love in this passage is translated in the Greek as agape.
- This is a self-giving love without expecting anything in return.
- Agape is love that can be given to the most undeserving folks.
- Think of the meanest person you know–agape can love them.
- It is a love that carries on even when disappointed or rejected for it doesn’t love in order to get.
- This agape love is far more than a feeling for it chooses self-denial for the sake of someone else.
When my life is all about me, agape is impossible.
It is the power of Christ that frees us from the deep need that wants to love in order to get, to love for the sake of self.
Love is where the spiritual meets the practical in our busy lives.
How do we get beyond the cards and the candy, the feelings and the Word’s of Scripture to expressing agape in our thoughts, words, and actions? Choose to love in the nitty-gritty daily moments that make up your day. When the husband forgets to take out the trash, choose patience. When you are frustrated, choose kindness.
Receive this agape from Christ, and let it flow out to those around you in the choices you make. Filling up with God’s love energizes the words you say and how you spend your time. When your friend seems to have the perfect home, refuse to be envious. When love is difficult, hold on to hope.
Thought by thought, word by word, and action by action let love seep out of your conversations. Love softens your touch and brings strength to your convictions. Let love inspire the words you say and how you spend your time. Seek love in your actions and the decisions you make.
Take it one moment at a time, depending on Christ to empower you to give your very best self in loving others.
Even as I have loved you...there is only one place to find agape. Only one source for the love we crave. Receive the powerful love of Christ and choose to love one another well.
Get a Free Printable Pack of Quotes on Love
Are You Going to Believe What You’re Feelings are Telling You?
Are you going to believe what your feelings are telling you? Responders and messengers, feelings have much to tell us, but they are not always based on what is true. It’s important to evaluate the message in your emotions.
As an update to this post, you may enjoy this podcast episode on processing emotions with faith. You can also find the video of this episode at the bottom of this post.
No response.
Recently I had my last class with a group of teenagers I’ve taught for the past several years. After class teens gathered in groups, laughing and talking with friends. Really, that’s what teenagers do.
Putting my coat on, I felt the awkward absence of any recognition that I would no longer be with them.
One girl came over and gave me a hug, “I’ll miss you.” Hugging her back, I thanked her with a smile.
I walked out of the room and took a deep breath, praying, “Lord, don’t let me go there. Don’t let feelings start pushing me around.”
You see, it was easy to feel that silence means they don’t care.
A lack of appreciation or recognition feels like my teaching failed. “If you’d made an impact, they’d be sad to see you go. They’d at least say thanks.” Emotions can open the door to false accusations.
It is a slippery slope, when feelings take control.
They don’t care. My teaching wasn’t good enough, these are thoughts that gain emotional momentum. This day, I’m going to shut the door to the voices in my head.
Emotions don’t pipe down on command. They keep trying to get a word in to spoil the day. Lies expand and accelerate…And your writing isn’t effective either. No one cares what you write. You’re a failure.
So quick. Quick as a breath or the blink of an eye, and I can be on my way to an emotional mess.
Maybe you don’t struggle with this, but for me this has been a major battle of the soul.
We respond to our world through the amazing gift of our emotions. In the moment, truth can seem as close as the latest feeling barging into our thoughts.
Feelings are powerful. Convincing. Enticing.
But they are not truth.
Feelings sometimes shout and sometimes whisper, as they bully and badger, making us believe they carry truth. It all feels so real.
Feelings are responses.
Feelings are responders and messengers. They hold no power to dictate truth unless we allow them to speak false belief to our souls.
We are so tempted to respond to our merry-go-round of feelings as truth. If I feel it, it must be true.
Feelings feel true.
My kids would fall on the floor laughing at this Mom-ism that sounds so stupid…but is so true.
And we fall for it, way too often and all too easily.
When we allow feelings to be bearers of truth, feelings become beliefs.
I feel rejected–I think I am rejected–I begin to believe I am rejected. I feel discouraged–I am discouraged. I feel loved–I am loved.
The convincing power of our feelings sway our thoughts and we can believe the messages our feelings shout loud and long.
In reality, feelings just are. I feel good, I feel mad, happy, sad, hopeful, disappointed….and on and on they go.
Here’s the thing that matters.
Feelings are not true or false. They are responders and messengers.
What we feel is what we feel. Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to feel what we feel without judging it. Without lecturing it. Without discounting or stuffing it. (I’m pretty good at that one.) But woohoo we also have a choice in what we believe!
I’m learning to recognize the dangerous slope of negative emotions. I’m learning to pray and trust God to keep me above the fray. I’m learning to hang onto to truth, again and again, until the emotions begin to settle.
So about that day…
This particular day, I was able to hold firm to truth. There are other times when I fall smack down into the muck. But this day, I was able to walk down the hall confident I have given my best.
And this I know–they appreciate the gift I’ve given. I know they value me. And I recognize they are teenagers, consumed with their world. And it’s okay.
I also know that I give my time to honor God and serve others –the responses and results are really His territory, not mine.
I can walk down the hall with a smile and let the feelings just be there until they pass. Which they do, and I am free to love without feelings dredging up thoughts that just aren’t true.
What is the message of your feelings? What is hidden beneath the emotion? This is an area that can have tremendous influence and impact on our relationships.
Discipleship of the heart.
Discipleship goes far beyond how to study the Bible, pray diligently, and share the gospel. On a very practical level, God is teaching us to live in the freedom of truth, not driven or misled by emotions. For me, this has been a practical journey I call discipleship of my heart.
You see, knowledge is just information until we can live it out in the choices we make. This is when feelings lose the power to drive truth and we are free to love others well.
What are your feelings telling you? Are they impacting your ability to love others well?
Learn more about processing your feelings in faith in Chapter 10 of Holy in the Moment.
Let Love Bring in Your Best Year Yet
Can love make a difference this year?
Can love really make this our best year yet? Love, apple pie, and puppy dogs are all words that evoke pleasant images and feelings. Love is a topic so familiar and so basic that we are tempted to roll our eyes and tune out. We’ve heard the admonition that we should love one another so many times that it can feel trite. Snore-zzzz……
Until we trip over the sins and shortcomings that make relationships hard. Until the kids are screaming in the grocery store. Until misunderstandings and irritations weave in and out of relationships with harsh words and snippy retorts. Until rejection or betrayal kicks us in the gut, leaving us floundering for solid ground in a sea of emotion.
How can love bring in our best year yet?
What we do is far more powerful that what we say.
Maybe this is why the word love is almost cliche’ in modern culture–too much talking and not enough real loving. Too much hype on romance and not enough unselfish giving.
And yet, love is our greatest need and our bravest quest.
“Love me” is the cry of every heart that beats. “Am I loved? Am I worth loving?” These are the questions that plague us in the dark of the night and on the days that ache with loneliness.
[tweetthis]Love is a thermometer revealing the condition of our souls, where we really are as followers of Christ.[/tweetthis]
Love is the gap between what we say we are and how we act on our worst days:
If we have a patience problem, we have a love problem.
If bitterness lurks behind a false smile, we have a lack of love.
If I have to be in control or have the last word…
[tweetthis hidden_hashtags=”#loveoneanother”]Love is the acid test of authenticity. Not perfection, but authenticity.[/tweetthis]
Love keeps it real.
Do we have loving relationships that are deep enough, candid enough to confess our sins to one another?
Do we know one another well enough to know the needs of the soul and the frailty of the body? How many times have we not wanted to “bother” someone by asking for prayer? Prayer comes generously and naturally when we love one another. Prayer is a vibrant and real aspect that marks the relationships of friends who follow Jesus.
Confessing our sins and admitting our faults doesn’t come easy.
Yet when we have a relationship securely anchored with love, we can let down our guard. We can put aside our pretending, the empty smiles we hide behind, and we can be real with one another. Vulnerability with our problems comes easier in the warm embrace of a loving, accepting friendship.
When love is present, we can risk confessing the hard issues we struggle with.
The selfish words we’ve spoken.
The prideful attitudes that erode our service.
The addictions and indulgences that leave us stuck.
The soul comes out of the shadows of the fear of rejection, of being “found out.” This is the blessing of love that gets real enough to confess our hard things. Real enough to pray with a heart to lovingly come along side our shaky steps.
We need deep and transparent relationships with a few trustworthy friends who will pray, encourage, and support. Life has some really hard days when we need that loving friend who will listen and pray without judging, fixing, or correcting. These are the friends we want to have.
This is the kind of friend we need to be.
Receiving the love of Christ frees us to love one another.
We all have our moments, and sometimes those trusted friends make mistakes. Ever blow it with a trusted friend? The words came out wrong. We spoke out of frustration. They let us down. Family or friends, we don’t always get along. Can we love one another in such a way that kindness wins out in the end. Forgiveness is more important than the wins or losses of an argument. Love that looks like this makes every day a good day and every year special:
God doesn’t need us to fix one another, yet how easy it is to respond with our answers and corrections rather than a love that listens and prays.
This is the prayer that accomplishes so very much.
Let love make this your best year ever by cultivating a few close relationships. Let’s be brave enough to be real about our hard things, to confess and pray with loving hearts. Let’s forgive and be kind.
Let’s let love make this our best year yet.
Sharing this post at Coffee for Your Heart.
When I Feel Alone
A Guest post from Jaimi Erickson:
I have not always been the most patient person.
Some who know me as a mom of 4 (including twins), illness who see how patient I can be (operative words CAN BE) juggling my children, may think I am lying, but I am not naturally a patient person. At the age of 8, while doing homework one night, I asked my mom for help on a math problem. At the end of her helping me through a stressful lesson, I said, “I think I will have to learn patience in my life.” At eight I knew patience was my weakness.
God had plans for me.
I make a career of waiting. I am a military wife–hurry up and wait is part of my life.
I am alone a lot.
I often wait for my husband to get home after 3 weeks away at a field operation or return from a 6 month deployment.
I wait a lot.
Add in being a mom–you know how that goes–and I pretty much have to wait for everyone. Patience does not come easily.
I wait alone.
Every evening during a deployment it is just me after the kids go to sleep. Hopefully they stay asleep because I have had quite the exercise in sleep deprivation over the last few years. I basically am alone as the only adult running the show. Om In the antrums, the spilled cheerios, and the toy mess that rivals the aftermath of a tornado–I am alone.
I find myself full of envy over friends who have close girlfriends . The kind of friends that help them in every tough situation. They got through the hard things together-not alone.
I get impatient when I cannot find that type of support when I want it. It is nice to be part of a group, to have close friends and a support system.
During deployment I often go a few days without talking to another adult. I am a stay-at-home mom, so that is not totally odd given my daily situation. I am surrounded by little people who really are great fun most moments of the day. Since having twins, I have not been able to reach out and start playgroups or host playdates as often as in the past. This is hard because I feel a need to meet other moms and be social, to not feel so alone.
It is frustrating trying to develop new friendships when they seem to take forever to grow.
Hitting a point in my season of motherhood-when I went from two children to four with the twins’ birth-where I could not even manage to find the time to host a playdate, I really became isolated. It was depressing. But my focus was not in the right place. I was being impatient.
I wanted to cling to mom friends who could be there when I needed them. Instead, I had to dig deep and cling to God.
God had me right where he needed me. I was forced to rely on the strength He provided. His words of encouragement and prayer became my internal voice. They helped me get through the tough days of single parenting.
[tweetthis]When I embrace being alone to truly feel the presence of God in my life, that’s grace.[/tweetthis]
I don’t always like that I learn to trust and cling to God more when I am alone. God knows how I learn, He knows what I need to fully commit to Him. He knows that I need to learn to wait for His guidance.
The reality is, I am never alone. There are 4 little ones who eagerly want me with them much of the day. They remind me that I have my place, and it is firmly planted on the path that God wants me traveling.
I know I am not alone.
I walk with God so I work to maintain patience while following His lead.
What do you do when you feel alone?
Jaimi Erickson is a Christian stay-at-home mom to 4 (2+twins), a military wife, and former teacher. She shares faith-based motivation for moms, frugal homeschool activities for infants, toddlers, preschool and school-age kids, and homemaking tips on her blog The Stay-at-Home Mom Survival Guide. Grab a cup of coffee and connect with her on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.
When It’s Time to Let Go of Our Children
There are moments when we need reminders to relax and trust God with worries for our children. At least I do. When it’s time to let go of our children–this is one of those moments.
These are the days we need to settle our hearts and sink into the truth of God’s presence and sovereign care. Days we need to be still and know through the experience of our souls that He is God.
The morning my daughter was set to leave for Australia, I woke with a heavy heart. That one-way ticket, the reality of saying goodbye pressed hard against the joyful knowledge that she is following God’s lead.
I wanted to whine, “Why a country so far away? Wasn’t there someplace closer You could send her?”
I wanted to complain, “Two years seems like forever.”
I wanted to worry, but I remembered how God had recently spoken to my fears for her safety.
Mostly, I felt tender and small, sad about saying goodbye.
God spoke to my heart through His word and the impressions that work themselves onto the page of my journal.
Be still and be in this moment. Know that I am your God–your helper and strength. I am your source and your blessing.
Open your hands–to let go as well as to receive.
In response I wrote these words.
I open my heart to what God is doing in my life and in my family. I ask for strength to release my child into His hands with joy rather than sadness.
Open, I will keep trusting and resting. This is the position to receive confidence for the future.
I will open my hands to hold onto God rather than cling to what I cannot keep…my children and the way things were when they were younger. In a way, this is hoarding the past and today is a time for something new.
I will try not to hold onto the past in an attempt to ensure happiness and security for the future. I cannot store yesterday’s grace and blessing to bank for tomorrow.
[tweetthis]Faith is an open hand, trusting that God is sufficient for each day and every need.[/tweetthis]
I open my mind to receive grace for a new season. Grace to let my children go in faith.
………………………………………………………………………………………………………..
In an unexpected turnaround, my girl puts me on the plane. Due to a delay with her visa, she does not leave when we planned. My husband and I have a flight to Hawaii. Her visa has come through and she will leave tomorrow. This feels strange to me–she takes us to the airport.
Cars and taxi’s crowd the departure lane in the chill of the early morning. Rushed, we say our goodbyes and my heart wants to cling, thinking it is likely to be a year before I hug her again. There is a part of me that cannot even take that in and I force myself to take a breath.
Chest tight and watery eyes leaking love, I whisper in her ear, face pressed against her hair, “So proud of you, I love you so much.” A car horn honks. Words cannot express what is inside-the wonder, excitement, joy, fear, love, and loss all tied up together in a tangle of emotions and faith. I hug her tight and release.
It is the letting go that is hard.
It is the distance that weighs heavy. And yet it is the possibilities and the faithfulness of God that empower me to loosen my grip. I have this tangible sense of releasing her into God’s great care as she steps out into the wide adventure of calling and faith. Truly, there is no better place to be.
She is ready. Ready to fly. Ready to go.
And so am I.
Parenting involves a series of letting go moments, milestones of growth and maturity. How has the “letting go” process worked out in your life?
Read more about trusting God in every moment, including raising our children in Ginger’s award-winning book.
Other posts about letting our children go:
Powerful Truth Gives Direction to Our Children
Powerful Prayers for God’s Direction for our Children
God’s Powerful Dreams for Our Children Give Direction
Praying Through the Milestones in Our Kid’s Lives
How I Know God Cares About Our Fears
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Coming and Going With Faith and Joy
Sunlight dances on her head and the fire in her soul radiates joy and passion through her eyes. It bounces through her voice. This is my daughter, the one who just returned from a six month Discipleship Training School in Australia. My heart is...
Prayer is a Gift of the Heart This Christmas
With all of the hustle and bustle of the season, it can be challenging to maintain a practical focus on the birth of Christ. Amid the parties, shopping, wrapping, baking, and fun activities, Christ can fade into the background if we aren’t...
Traditions Build Strong Families: 50 Ways to Celebrate Christmas
Join me for a story from our first year living in Japan. I wrote this post for Planting Roots: Strength to Thrive in Military Life, but the content can apply to every family!
We may be wearing flip-flops and eating with chop-sticks, but it’s still Christmas!
“I miss Virginia—my friends and our house.” Seems like I heard this comment sighed from the lips of one of my children every few days.
It is 2007 and our family is still adjusting to life in Japan.
The weather is humid and unseasonably warm for December, even for Okinawa. Though we are excited to be living in a different country, the reality of the transition isn’t easy.
It doesn’t feel like Christmas, but the calendar begins the countdown of December days. My ten-year-old bursts through the front door with a wail, “Mom, I heard they are not getting any Christmas trees at the store on base this Christmas! Something happened to the shipment!”
Normally this news would not be a big deal, but this year is different.
There’s no place like home.
This year we are still getting settled in unfamiliar territory, and this year Dad is deploying right after Christmas. With a 4,000-pound weight limit for household goods, Christmas decorations didn’t make the packing list. We assumed we could buy a tree in Japan.
The ache of unfamiliarity hangs heavy. This is our first move with teenagers who have an iron grip on their friends “back home.” Our cement-block-typhoon-ready base house doesn’t yet look or feel like home. Not having a Christmas tree isn’t going to help anyone feel we are “home” for the holidays.
A few days later, my friend Cathy asks my girl, “What do you want for Christmas?”
My heart sinks as my daughter responds with a telltale tremor in her voice, “All I want is a Christmas tree.”
I worry about how to make Christmas special in a new place so far from family. Prayerfully I ask God, “Please help my kids get settled. How can I make this place feel like home this Christmas?”
Celebrating Christmas in New Places
[tweetthis]The heart of Christmas is not in the decorations and festivities.[/tweetthis] Yet there is a certain feel to the atmosphere and ambiance that we have become accustomed to. Balmy beach days don’t feel like Christmas when we are used to the crisp, cold air of Virginia. My kids lament Facebook posts showing it is already snowing “back home,” even as we are heading to the beach for the afternoon.
It just doesn’t seem like Christmas…
The cherished rituals of celebrating Christmas are not limited to decorations or addresses. Even before Christmas arrives, the familiar routines of baking cookies and practicing for the school concerts are getting us in a more positive outlook.
I talk with my kids about how Christmas will be a little different this year, “but we can enjoy exploring new places and customs.” Sipping hot cocoa one afternoon, my youngest is cutting out snowflakes as we chat about the true meaning of Christmas.
I think I’m making headway with the whole Christmas-in-a-new-place thing.
“The baby Jesus is the most important thing about Christmas,” this sweet one chirps as she snips bits of white paper that litter the floor.
“But I still want a Christmas tree.”
“It won’t feel Christmas-y without one.”
I take a deep breath and put on my peppiest Mom voice, “We don’t need a tree, we will still celebrate Christmas with many of our family traditions we enjoy each year. Maybe you don’t feel like this place is home yet, but we can make a home for Christ in our hearts wherever we go.”
[tweetthis]Traditions help build strong families.[/tweetthis]
As December days pass, each one bringing us closer to Christmas, we enjoy many of the things we usually do at Christmas—some festive and others sacred.
Until this move, I have never considered the power of family traditions to help create continuity in the midst of changes and transitions of life.
Read the rest of the story and a practical list of 50 ways to celebrate Christmas here.
Christmas comes in the midst of life as it is. This particular Christmas for our family was a blessing despite the adjustments we all faced. The next year, 2008, I faced a much more significant challenge. If you are grieving loss this year, I hope this post will encourage you.
What unexpected blessings have you found when your face challenges at Christmas? How have traditions strengthened your family?
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