Do you ever feel like your kitchen is a battleground?   So much of family life takes place within 5-10 feet of the fridge.  Ever noticed this? There are so many days when I can’t seem to get out of this room–maybe I should move my bed down here just to complete the package.  The  kitchen is often called the heart of the home, and you would think that if this is so that the kitchen would be a calm and serene place filled with love, joy, peace, and good food.  However, as with many things in life, it is just not that simple.  Life can get messy, and so do kitchens.  There are many kinds of battles that can take place here.  Do any of these squirmishes invade the peace of your home?  (Please tell me I am not the only one that lives life this way!!)

…what will I make for dinner?

…it’s your turn to do the dishes!

…I don’t like brocolli!

….you got a what on your math test?

…is your homework done?

…don’t drink out of the milk carton!

…don’t rock in your chair.

…what will I make for dinner? (Yes, I know I already said that.)

…don’t speak to your mother like that.

…do you want to stay here all night?

…put your napkin in your lap…

…who ate the Cheeto’s?

…oh gross! What is that?

…Great.  Burned toast….again.

Need I go on?  Case made.

Point taken.

The kitchen can be a dangerous place.  Let me show you one of my greatest irritations and fiercest kitchen battles:

Yes–it is the kitchen counter top.

This battle zone has a life of its own.  I know it is alive because EVERY TIME I clean it off, within minutes, it has re-populated itself with stuff.  Seriously, how much time in a day do I spend in the fruitless effort to pretend that I am a reasonable decent housekeeper.  At times I wonder if this is some kind of special ability or intelligence. Is the ability to keep counter tops clean part of a special DNA package that I obviously missed out on? Do people go to school to learn this skill?  Is it a skill or a sport?  Well, I would gladly forgo this battle, but the results of choosing not to fight this battle aren’t pretty:

Kitchen battles gone bad.

(Actually this is my old kitchen, but I couldn’t resist adding it in.)

Yep, Martha Stewart doesn’t live here…just in case you were wondering.  I think it is safe to bet that Southern Living will not be doing a spread on this designer kitchen any time soon.  What good would new kitchen counter tops be if I can’t keep the one’s I’ve got cleared off?

Now if any of you has the audacity to tell me about the Fly Lady and her hot spots, I will gladly give this battle over to you to fight.

Now here is a spot check inventory of what is hanging out on my counter at the moment: keys, sissors, a package to be mailed, soy sauce, cookie sprinkles, a measuring cup, butter, salt, two calendars, a house phone and a cell phone, coupons, a high school course catologue, mail, a hair tie (yuck), and a dish towel.  Somehow, my counter top becomes a desk, a phone station, homework hangout…and when all this is done, maybe there will be a little room left over for cooking.

Just to show you what I mean, here is a shot of our kitchen all cleaned up.

Yay for me!! Oh the bliss of a clear, pristine counter!

See I am not truly a total slob…very often.  This is the look that I aim for. Good intentions.

Now here is what happens within what seems like minutes of the last swipe of the counter in the picture above.  Spontaneous cumbustion.  A chemical reaction of some kind:

This is the two hours later shot.

Only the most gifted of Kitchen Goddesses can reign victorious in this battle zone.  (No, it doesn’t count if you don’t actually use your kitchen!) If you happen to be one of those Kitchen Goddesses and carry the right DNA for the continuously clean kitchen counter, please share your tips with those of us who are losing this battle. Seriously…this is a serious kitchen battle and I need a new strategy!

Leave your tips in the comment box and I will post them for all to enjoy.