Longing for friendship and connection starts early in life.
Every girl knows there is no age limit on the value of a good friend.
My daughter toddles out to the pool with her babydoll stroller, clomping in her grandma’s pretty shoes. She loves the clackity-clack of hard soles on hot cement. Grandma follows close behind to make sure this little one stays away from the edge of the pool.
Cute as a bluebird, she perches on side of the pool in her ruffled bathing suit. I love hearing my girlie chat with anyone who will stop and visit. She chirps, “Hi. What’s your name?” And off she goes into a fascinating, friend-making conversation. By the end of the afternoon, she has met many of the adults and most of the children at the pool. With her three-year-old wisdom, no one needs to tell her this truth: there is something special about friendship.
Do you have the gift of girlfriend?
This may seem like an odd question. My friends, Larissa and Jenny both have a friendship gift that comes naturally, but they also work hard at building relationships. Building community and making friends is an intrinsic part of who they are. They have that special gift of girlfriend.
For many, friendship doesn’t come easily. Initiating relationships feels uncomfortable and risky. And though friendship can be the source of great joy, betrayal or rejection from a friend can break your heart. Remember those awkward middle school years of fluctuating friendships and alliances that could shift with the wind? Best friends could become worst enemies and the in-crowd could be cruel to many. Friendship was often a competition during those insecure days of adolescence–who has the most friends, the coolest buddies, the prettiest pals, the funniest girlfriends?
[tweetthis]Though we’ve grown up, friendship can still become a competition.[/tweetthis]
Isn’t it time to release that sneaky temptation to compare ourselves with others? Some people have loads of friends, others only a few. Some make friends easily, others struggle. The most important thing is to focus on being a great friend to the ones God has given you.
I love these words from Elizabeth of Just Following Jesus:
Maturity realizes that there’s only one me and there’s only one you, and though my friend may have five other friends, there’s only one me in her life. Relationships shouldn’t be a competition. Being true to being who you are makes you irreplaceable. Trying to be like others in order to be liked and accepted makes you just another face in the crowd.
Don’t expect any one friend to be all things friend to you. Let each friendship naturally evolve and take its own path. When we trust God with our friendships, we can be okay with the fact that every friendship may not grow the way we would like. Some friendships grow close quickly, others slowly develop over time. Some never get past , “Hi, how are you?”
[tweetthis hidden_hashtags=”#friends, #makingfriends”]One thing is true: the best way to have a good friend is to be one.[/tweetthis]
The best way to develop the gift of girlfriend is to learn to treat others well. God’s wisdom shows us many ways to build relationships.
14 Tips for being the Friend You Want to Have.
Romans 12:9-19 offers wisdom that can be a great guide for friendships. The following list is straight out of The Message.
- Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it.
- Run for dear life from evil; hold on for dear life to good.
- Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle.
- Don’t burn out; keep yourselves fueled and aflame.
- Be alert servants of the Master, cheerfully expectant.
- Don’t quit in hard times; pray all the harder.
- Help needy Christians; be inventive in hospitality.
- Bless your enemies; no cursing under your breath.
- Laugh with your happy friends when they’re happy; share tears when they’re down.
- Get along with each other; don’t be stuck-up.
- Make friends with nobodies; don’t be the great somebody.
- Don’t hit back; discover beauty in everyone.
- If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody.
- Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”
Take a moment to ask God to show you one thing to work on in your relationships. Will you trust Him to help you grow in this area?
What has God put on your heart today?
So glad you're here. I help busy women—gals like you— build healthy habits for living well with biblical wisdom and practical steps to deepen your faith, increase your hope, and thrive in your purpose.
Sending cards when it is not my friends birthday. I am going to work on this. Letting my friends know that I am thinking about them. Thank you for this wonderful article.
I’m glad you enjoyed it. I struggle to keep up with birthdays, and I’m working on that. Good for you that you’ve got birthdays down. You are a good friend to others with your gracious personality.
Great post, Ginger. Only in recent years have I realized it requires diligence to nurture my friendships the way they deserve, as well as the depth of blessing that comes as a result.
I didn’t get to this point in the post, but it is such a challenge to find time to give to friends the way I want to. Like everything in life, we have to make choices. Trying to do somethings rather than everything really helps me. Thanks for chiming in, Cathy!
Absolutely great Ginger! I definitely identify with the gift of girlfriend! I had a friend who’s going through a rough time right now come into my apartment and tell me it felt peaceful and like “home”. I’ve gotten that a lot over the years, no matter where I’ve lived(even in some of the least hospitable neighborhoods and buildings!). So I’m grateful for the gift of hospitality and of “girlfriend”. I pray it be used for His glory and He grows me in it!
I know you are a blessing to your friend. Sometimes a peaceful, cheerful presence is the best medicine in the world. So glad you found a blessing in this post. Hope you have a great weekend!
Those are some good words by Elizabeth, followed by good words of wisdom from you. I really appreciate this statement … “Don’t expect any one friend to be all things friend to you.” So good for us to remember. Great post, Ginger!
So great to see you in this space. I know this has been a busy season for you. I’m so glad you were blessed by your visit here. Hugs!
Love this topic of course!!!! God has been downloading volumes lately in regards to community. For me, I am working on meeting people where they are at and enjoying them for what little time I get with them and really celebrating when we get more time than expected. Fabulous post sweet friend!!!
I love the acceptance that people are in different stages and situations that can effect relationships. What a blessing to meet others where they are and just enjoy the time. Blessings, Friend.
Great post & love the 14 ideas!!
Thanks so much for visiting! I’m glad these ideas are appealing. Enjoy building community through strong friendships.
This concept, “gift of girlfriend” has been on my heart again just recently! Years later, but these truths are still so valuable! And the coolest thing… this “gift” is something i think we can all have if we work at it! To some it may come more easily, but having great girl friends, and being a wonderful friend is a gift God wants for each of us! 💗
Your precious friendship is a true treasure!
Thank you for visiting today, my sweet Friend! Good friendships are a gift, but they are also a responsibility–at least to love others well. Blessings to you!